What a week this has been. Last Tuesday, after WH weaseled and lied his way though our 1st MC appt, it became apparent that he was already looking at apartments. He kept calling me about what I thought he should do. I kept with my major points, OW has to go. We need a husband and a dad, not somebody's boyfriend.

Well, I guess on Saturday he got his apartment. I was with our second son at a sport thing most of Friday and Saturday. My college son watched has he removed a minimum of things from the house. He says the apt is okay. He says he's working getting away from OW. Yeh, right.

Meanwhile, everybody else is having a horrid Christmas season. His parents are sad and depressed, although glad to know what's going on. They have no regrets about exposure. I'm completely scattered. The kids are hanging in there.

I'm not making it easy. WH can enjoy the loneliness of his apartment.

HC,

These WS' think they can replace a home with a house/apt. Reality bites them on this point. You can have an apt or a house but it will never be a home.

It took my WS a long time to figure that one out. We just moved from CA to HI and H has not moved here yet. He just came back from a business assignment out in FL and PR, the drove back cross country to CA. He has to stay with his sister and her family. He told me that it feels weird. The town he grew up in (he never lived out side of CA, now feels foreign. It doesn't feel like home to him. He says so much has changed (he has been away for 4 months). He says his home is where we are but he hasn't even been here yet. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Go figure....that's reality and it sure sounded good to me.

My point is that the Ws try to rewrite history and create different memories. Not gonna feel right, nope it never will. But it takes the WS longer to figure that out.

You did the right thing by letting him experience life alone. Yea, he may let the OW in for a while but when she has to meet his real needs, the test will then come full circle.

Most OWs are lazy and just want to play. They don't do windows. LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

L.

And he can keep this apartment as clean as he thinks our house isn't. Of course, he doesn't have much there. Clutter is a lot of what has made our house a home. I'm taking him some of the things he asked for to our MC session today. I asked him not to come to the house.

He says what happened, the A, was because of the ever-popular "drifting apart". WH has been mentally removed for so long, that he might as well see what physically removed is like. I'm relieved he's not here.

HC,
My WH says its nice at his place because it is quiet (me not nagging, kids not fighting) and there isn't a lot of crap (nothing to clean or pick up, which he never did). Guess what? Now that he is gone, the house is a lot quieter and I have made three trips to goodwill, and if he ever asks me "Hey where is my ***** ?" I'll say "OH, that piece of crap? I threw it out".

Let him feel the solitude when he is alone and the OW is not available. Let him learn what is like to do his own laundry and cook his own meals, and run out of groceries. Make sure he makes his own plans to be with the kids, don't arrange it for him. What is sich with the OW? Is she married? divorced? kids? Remind me

When my FWH eventually moved into his condo which he secretly purchased, Steve H. recommended that I go into PLAN B. You see, it ended up that he got the condo to entertain the OW. I caught them over there on my second D-Day. YUK!!

There are a lot of similarities in our experiences as I have shared with you before.

Hang in there!!!

OW is divorced with 3 kids and is an hour's commute away. WH said in MC today that the A is almost over because she complains too much.

WH is gifted with telling other people what they want to hear. I hope he really enjoys the peace and cleanliness.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by HurtingCarol:
<strong> WH said in MC today that the A is almost over because she complains too much.

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />


Carol:

My friend, the only thing sadder than this statement would be you taking him back any time ***close*** to when he ends the "almost over" affair.

WHY ARE YOU GOING TO MC WHEN THE AFFAIR HAS NOT ENDED? YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME.

Goodluck

LM

I agree with Lemonman.

Don't be surprised if there aren't plans for her to come to visit very often.

It's a poor MC who has you in therapy knowing that he is involved in an A and openly tells you about it during the session.

He is not acting like a married man. So why marital counseling. It would be a much better idea for you to counsel with Steve Harley.

Carol he is a cake-eater who is continuing to hurt you.