O.K. I have no question as to whether or not to get my WW a gift for Christmas.....I will not. I will, however, buy one for the children to give as they require a relationship with their mother and need to learn about gifts and such.
I'll have to make sure they don't eat any of it though...and if they do they are to drink plenty of liqiuds and go straight to the hospital. (kidding of course)

But what about getting one from the WS. How is everyone going to handle that if and when it occurs?

<small>[ December 21, 2004, 05:05 PM: Message edited by: Binder ]</small>

I was pondering the same issue. I don't have an answer but I'm also not getting my WH a gift. He wants a pinky ring and doesn't even wear his wedding ring.

I think it's safe to say that I won't have to worry about that.....

I also think you did the right thing by getting your children a gift for thier mother. But it's not like you would step off the high road, right....

What prompted your question? Are you expecting a gift from your WW? Are you expecting her to get your children a gift to give to you?

Just trying to get better perspective on your question.

Hope you are well!

Ethan

Ethan! Howtheheckareya? Long time no post.

I tend to be pretty sporadic too, not much changes in my situation.

I figured I'd pose the question to see what take people had on that. So many seem to agonize over whether to get their WS or in some cases XS. By the way, If I got My WW a gift I thought maybe a STBX-box would be appropriate, but I digress.

I think the tougher call would be what to do with a gift from one of these creatures. I know my W (not sure sure about my WW) and her penchant for gift giving. It is all is very exciting for her. She also has softened greatly over the last few months and I can see this situation presenting itself. I figured I would return all cards and/or gifts unopened. I'm pretty strict about my plan B.

I thought I'd ask though...get people to say what their plan, if they had one, was.

<small>[ December 21, 2004, 09:24 PM: Message edited by: Binder ]</small>

binder, I'll accept my gifts (and got gifts for him), but I'm not in Plan B so it's hard to say what I would do in that situation. I would like to say that I would not accept them but since I don't have to face that, it's easy for me to say.

I almost dread opening my gift (or gifts if there's more coming) from him, though...and this is totally OT to your post. Got a box from Amazon today and I'm pretty sure that is his gift. I just don't want to be disappointed and I think I probably will be. I guess it's a female thing..hoping for something "personal" and not getting that. Then on the other hand, it might be something I LOVE and I almost dread that too!

I wish you well..let us know what ends up happening and how you deal with it.

I do think that if you get one from "the kids" even though you KNOW it's just a guise...I would accept it gracefully.

howtheheckamI?

Good. I posted an update a few weeks back....

As far as the gift goes, I think a lot of it depends on what you want of the M. If you still would be willing to give reconciliation a shot, then I say keep and open the gifts and cards. If you should feel the need to reply, "Thanks" would cover it. No more, no less. If you're done completely, then don't even acknowledge that you got them.

It could perhaps be an opportunity to continue to show your children how to be gracious in a situation where 97% of the planet would light the gifts on fire in her front yard.

As far as my "plan"?

There's a chance of snow flurries here in Louisiana on Christmas Eve/Day. While that may be evidence that he!! is indeed freezing over, if my WW even acknowledges me on Christmas (or my b-day, the 28th) then we'll know it has frozen over for sure!

Ethan

<small>[ December 21, 2004, 10:07 PM: Message edited by: thefurnitureman ]</small>

Well, this thread is making me feel better. I have been going through this for 2 years. Last Christmas, WH got me nothing. So I will not be expecting anything this year either.

Weaver,
Yes...a gift from the kids will be accepted with genuine glee. They need to learn the art of giving and receiving. I did let them pick a gift out for WW on her birthday and we wrapped it for them to give to WW. Christmas will be the same.

I don't know how you can stay so chummy with your WH post divorce that you still send gifts directly to each other. If and when we D...I will not be capable of that. Plan B for life.

FM...I'll go read your thread to catch up. The plan B rule book says to return letters etc. unopened. I imagine that goes for gifts as well. Of course that is a single solution for a mass of individual situations. Specific to mine...with reconciliation being a goal or at least a viable alternative...It's a guess at best.

Believer...when I first came to this forum and you had been at this 16 mos. I couldn't believe it. Now here I am....getting close. No flowers to send back to the WW though. I still chuckle at that episode.

Binder - As you move through all of this, it does get easier and easier. I was heartbroken at first, but things did get better.