native00,

Why you are here ? ... you are in MB site. There are steps that sugested by Harley that save many M. If you have any doubt call and get conseling from Harleys.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>What did I just do? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Fighting for your M since you still love W.

-rh-

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by native00:
<strong> Well I just had a face to face with the Step Father, I exposed everything. Told him that if he wanted to help me save my M that he could put a stop payment on WW check that she got from him for her 1st months rent. He said he would. I exposed everything and he said I was very convincing, I said I don't have to be when the choice is morally right. I also told him that he's only hearing my side of the story, and that I encourage him to talk to WW to get her side. That could only help me in exposing though.

So now I'm waiting for WW to blow up at me, I'm wondering when she's going to come after me.

I'm wondering if this was the right thing to do.

I'm wondering if this will only push her farther away.

I'm wondering if this really did anything, b/c she is still having the A even while living in the house.

I do know that this has stopped her from taking the kids to an appt. so that is good.

I don't know how to get over the fact that I want her out because I'm angry and disgusted by the WW (Not the W) I don't want WW sleeping in my bed. So then why did I stop her from moving out?

What did I just do? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well....I hope you get the results you are looking for here. Hopefully the stop payment on the check will give you more time to win your wife back. Have you talked to the wonder man (ok, I agree that is not fair to call him that <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ) himself Harley? I wonder what advice he would give you with ALL OF THE Facts that have been laid out. At some point, Plan A is counterproductive to your hopes of recovery....at least that is what they say.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by redhat:
<strong> native00,


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>What did I just do? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Fighting for your M since you still love W.

-rh- </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sometimes love is not enough ! At some point the balances of marriage vs self destruction way to unevenly....sadly IMO this is probably one of those times. Hey but what do I know, so I just hope that Native00 can get through this mess FOR HIS CHILDREN. I hope that this is the right thing for them to be exposed to all of this.

LM

lemonman,

First I want to let you know I enjoy your posts ... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> .

I agreed w/ you at some point native have to pull the plug but as we know he should make sure that he would never regret his decision. I disagree with you in timing as in now, as he still have love for W and there are things that he could do.

When there is no love ... give 'em hope ... when there is no hope ... give 'em thing to do until they could make rational decision w/o anger, fear or hurt.

just my 2¢ which, right now, is 12.5% alcohol. -rh-

Thanks Lemmonman and Redhat,

LM, what have you been up to, how are things?

Yes I can see all the facts, I can see what my WW is doing to me and the kids, and I can see how this has affected me. The problem is, and I guess it's mostly me, is that I'm stubborn and I don't know how to quit. I don't know how to un-love my W. I've been hit with so many things these 3 months that you'd think I'd have gotten it by now... but I haven't.

Yes I realize that at some point I have to let her go. I know that I WILL have to if she doesn't change. However yes I do love her and I feel that I haven't done all that I need to do in order to have no regrets. This is about me now, and being able to not carry baggage into the future.

The thing is that I also had the stop payment done so she couldn't take the kids into a new appt. and have WW expose them to different men. So I guess this was more for the kids than my WW, I realized that last night as I went to bed.

I'm worried at what she'll come at me with, but I've been preparing for the worse.

So bring it on WW, I can take it, I think.

Native.

well native if AW wasnt crying at the moment she'd probably rip you a new one I'd say.

One thing we've always agreed on is kids first always,

With your WW behaviour, which is so risky let alone stupid, putting the kids at risk is something you need to seriously consider.

It's ok for YOU to decide to put yourself under pain and possible further hurt, Its not ok to let your kids be at risk from a mother who is not a full quid at the moment.

Start researching for full custody now in case you do separate.

Hello Aussie2

Did I miss something, I don't understand what you mean?

Native: The thing is that I also had the stop payment done so she couldn't take the kids into a new appt. and have WW expose them to different men. So I guess this was more for the kids than my WW, I realized that last night as I went to bed.

Did I not say that I was also doing this so that WW wouldn't have the kids leave my house? That is what I'm trying to do right now, protect the kids. I'm going to be talking to a Lawyer hopefully this week about drafting up a temp seperation and getting custody of the kids until such time as WW files for D or she comes to her senses.

Did I miss something Aussie, could you please explain if I've missed something?

Native.

Well Step Father just called me and told me that he put the stop through and that he was going to call WW and let her know. I said okay, so I guess the heat will be coming real soon!

Then he left a voicemail saying that he talked to WW and she now hates him. She says it's going to mess up her account and that now she has nobody to help her. Step F said, you have your Husband. She got mad and said that Step F had talked to me, he said that he didn't, he just felt bad about giving her that money.

So I guess I'll see what happens now. I'll be home around 6:30, doubt WW will be there, she'll probably pack of the kids and go to her GF's house.

Native.

native00,

Just PTC ... wait and sit back. Keep your cool and no LBs. Give us update later.

-rh-

Well I got home and WW of course wasn't here. She has the kids and I don't know if she'll be coming home tonight. She has done this before and taken the kids to her GF's house. I'm actually at a friends house right now as my computer has crashed!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

So I'll be leaving here shortly and be going back home to an empty house.

Start drafting plan B and start thinking on dark plan B scenario. You will need them when WW moved out.

-rh-

Hello Red,

Well like I though WW never came home with the kids last night. She wasn't at her GF's like I thought and wasn't at her mothers, so she was most likely with OM.

Now that I've stopped her from getting that money from Step F I don't know what her plans are as far as moving out.

I'm going to try and get a hold of Child Protection Services and see how I can get the kids to stay in the house and not go with her. Then I'm going to change the locks on the house.

You can't keep her out of the house unless there is a court order saying she is not allowed there. As long as you are still married the house is considered joint property. She would have every right to kick the door in if you changed the locks.

Just an FYI

Good luck

Native,

Sooo...are you saying that you do not KNOW where your children were last night?!

This must never, ever happen again. No rationalization is good enough.

You are responsible for protecting them..even if it is from her irresponsibility.

It's good that you called cps..but you really need something more substantial to bring it to an immediate halt. How about calling an emergency hearing with a judge? Citing things just such as this [which no parent would tolerate] and concern that she will not be making safe decisions.

If she can not be trusted to show apprppriate concern for her own body and well being..she can not be trusted to show concern for anyone. I'd hate to see those kids pulled out of an alcohol induced car wreck or exposed to a social situation that is damaging.

I think you should consider being a little more aggressive. Kindness and consideration are great motivators, but if they fail..fear will get the jop done.

Noodle

native,

I would agree with noodle here. You have no idea where your children were last night? That is unacceptable. Your wife is not a responsible person right now. You need to make sure your children are safe and it seems to me like they would only be safe with you.

MIF

Thanks Noodle and MIF, how are you guys doin?

When I drove into work this morning I stopped by her GF's house, her car wasn't there. Stopped by OM#1 no car. I think I know where OM#2 may live but haven't verified, plan to do that tonight. Now she could have dropped the kids off at GF's house and left to go see OM#2, GF probably would have done that for my WW. However I cannot be afford to be wrong here, and have to assume the worse!! You don't have to tell me that it's unacceptable, that I already know. You both are completely correct in what you say.

I have just posted another topic about keeping the kids at home.