Hi alank,

Wow this sounds really positive! I have a habit of seeing the positive though, sometimes even false ones <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

This sounds really good though, you and WW dating. No kids date, OM is a jerk. I can't help but feel good for you!!

Many people have said that WS have a lot of pain and guilt and stuff. As a BS I don't think they compare but that is another issue.

How bout this, set a little goal for you and WW. No talking about OM, R, or painful stuff for 2 weeks, maybe 1 week. Just a small goal that you can set. That way it takes the pressure off and you two can just enjoy each others company.

Sound doable? I'm still pretty new in all this but it kinda makes sense don't it? Although I could be wrong.

Native

Worthatry,

Just so you are aware my WW and her OM are the talk of the office. Also her OM is not in a M, he is a playboy and has two OW on the go! Real nice guy.

Native00, I will bring up the idea of no talk of the OM or R for a time, a week or two, I think it is a good idea, thank you.

Does anyone think I did damage with my LB last night? My ww has called me twice today to rant about this or that and I did a good job of no LB's. She confirmed our plans tonight and asked about sat night?

Do we have light at the end of the tunnel?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by alank:
<strong>Does anyone think I did damage with my LB last night?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No one can know for sure and even if we could, it's over and can't be undone.

No one has ever done Plan A and NOT LB'd. Remember, LBs are in the eyes/ears of the WS - they get to decide and we know how good their judgement is, right? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

So, don't dewll on it. BUT > do your dern best to not do any more.

This is the most valuable piece of info I think you need to remember - time is on your side. If you're a procrastinator, this is your moment!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> If you're not sure about saying something or asking a question, DON'T!

WAT

Thanks Worthatry,

Lucky for me I have been known to be a procrastinator at times, although I am in sales and at times I have a hard time being quiet. I love to talk people down,close the deal and get instant reward, bad part of my job

New rule, If I am unsure of the response right now, don't ask the question. Two ears and one mouth, use my ears first and tape my mouth shut.

I am working on it very hard, and thanks for all the help, this site has saved my life and kept me going.

I also agree alank that nobody's perfect in all of this. There are going to be LB's dropped, just try and minimize the blast radius. I'm sure I've done a few myself.

Yes I also agree that I'm sooooo glad I found this site.

Native

Weel I am now more confused then ever <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> and I am full of anxiety.

Spent the night with the WW and the kids, it was great, took the kids to Adventure Zone, they played for hours <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

WW and I had a great time, came home together and watched a great movie, had some wine and stayed together all night <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Well this morning I get up and go get coffee, for those of you in Canada you understand the need to go get a Tim Horton's coffee first thing. It is a great thing.

WW is getting ready to go and visit a new office, as she is moving out of the one her OM works in. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Everything seemed to be going great, yet when she left she was cold towards me? I tried in a polite way to give her a kiss and tell her good luck, yet it was as if I was a stranger to her. She wanted no contact that way with me?

After last night I thought that was odd, yet now I sit here full of anxeity wondering if last night and this week were about me filling in for her Om as he is in Hawaii?

Dont understand how I am right now. I am unable to drink my coffee or eat. I have thrown up twice today.

If her OM is gone to Hawaii and she is moving offices why am I so emotional and upset right now. Why the massive anxiety attack.

Anyone have an idea?

Feel like I am about to pass out, I hate this feeling and I thought it was gone.

Been there, Alan. How's the infidelity diet going?

Seriously, see a doc about anti-depressants. Like most other BSs, you're a prime candidate.

As for her? Alien. Don't try to make sense out of nonsense. Likely she IS using you while OM is gone. It's part of the dance. Be thinking about a real Plan B. Not time yet, but think about it. If this comes, she'll crumble when OM is too busy for her and you're not available. But crumble she has to do before she can get better.

A good time to consider counseling with Steve H.

WAT

Thanks WAT,

she just called me to let me know she is starting at her new office on monday <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> The work enviroment is much different at this office than her old one, and her OM does not work there.

I hope and pray this is the start of something new for us. She was fairly open last night with me about the A. I made a dael with her to just not mention it for a while, about a week so we could both just relax and have some fun together, yet she brought it up.

She told me of a conversation she had with one of my co workers, this gal is in a three year A with a married man, my WW told her it was time to stop, get away from the sitch. I took this as something good. She can see the wrong in what others are doing, can she see the wrong in what she has done?

She told this gal she hsa been there and done that, so she exposed her A on her own. I have not spoken to this gal to confirm this, however, is this a good thing.

My WW also told me her own A lasted a year! She used the word lasted, in her mind is it over?

Is she realy done.

God I want sleep and my family back.

Alan - her words are promising. But it's the actions that count.

Stay the course. Hope for the best, expect less.

WAT

I am getting better at expecting less every day. Although hope is what I have the most of.

One day at a time, starting with me..