I guess that depends on how long she takes. She is running out of time. I mean, I have decided to move on with my life so who knows how long it will be before I hit the point of no return.

MIF

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by MIF?:
<strong> I guess that depends on how long she takes. She is running out of time. I mean, I have decided to move on with my life so who knows how long it will be before I hit the point of no return.

MIF </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is what plan B are for ... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> . How long b/f your Dv is final ?

-rh-

<small>[ December 26, 2004, 07:39 PM: Message edited by: redhat ]</small>

In MI there is a min. 6 month period with children so at the very earliest it would June of 2005. That's if there are no glitches, ie fighting over custody, property etc. It can take much longer, although I hope not.

MIF

Have you reviewed your plan A ? ... go to plan B 'till your Dv is final. What do you get to loose now ?.

-rh-

True, that has been my plan. Either plan B will make us both want to be together or realize we are better without each other.

MIF?,

draft a plan B letter & plan the logistic for it. When you hand the letter to her you hand the decision on her hand. I hope she would wake up from her fog before your in-love is drained out and your love is dead.

Meanwhile ... do think you did very decent plan A ?

-rh-

I thought I did, but probably not. I mean, what happened was at first I think I did fine, but the repeated breaks of the NC just made me angrier and angrier. Needless to say my plan A faultered after a couple of months to where I was LB-ing all over the place because I was filled with rage. Then, a few weeks ago I accepted the fact my marriage was over and as a result my anger went away.

Like now. She should have been home, but is not. I am positive she went to see OM and that's why she is late. Normally I would be enraged, but if that is what she wants then so be it. I will move on too.

MIF

MIF?,

From your own word, you didn't do good plan A. Plan A are not suppose to be filled w/ LB'ed ... as a matter of fact if BS could hold on the LB's, BS is already way ahead of the game.

Anger is normal ... it is one of 5 stages of grief. You are reacting to the hurt/pain. Now it is calm down, it is the best time to do plan A!. Why ? you have nothing to loose or to hope for. Her A is irrelevant now. You could only gain from your plan A !. What are her complaint about you in M ? if she complaint about you way before A ... then you need to fix your self. Also there are greater chances that your new mate would complaint too. Change your self and what a better time than now since you have a partner to do it to. Change it such that you will be ready for your next R, w/ or w/o W.

JMHO, go back and do plan A ... not for her but for you. Change to the husband that you want to be. When you are done, hand her the plan B and wait 'till your Dv is done.

-rh-

Well, I wasn't affectionate enough. Did not listen well enough among a few others I can't think of right now. The problem is now, we are not affectionate at all. Nor do we talk a whole lot.

Oh well. I will be out of the house soon enough.

MIF

MIF,

I'm sure some of what you say is true about you not meeting her needs. However becareful not to take all the blame, I'm sure you know that it's a two way street. Also that WS rewrite their lives pre-A. Maybe I'm biased but were you completely happy? Did you have all your EN's met? We can play the blame game all day long but that gets us nowhere in a hurry. Redhat said work on yourself and you and I both know that is the best way to go, as that's the only control we have in this mess. Have you read HNHN? I have, and I can admit that in my sitch I could have done things better, of course I could. However my wife's "reason/justification" is the same as yours. Affection and Conversation. By reading HNHN I have learned that although I could have done better, maybe even much better. However I was meeting those needs with actions that I did. WW just chose not to see them. However my sitch I believe is not a EN sitch for my WW it's a single life.

Maybe now is a time for re-evaluation of your current sit. As you said you have until June, what have you got to loose?

Read HN/HN. I agree. I am not entirely to blame. We both are. I had not been happy and I should have done something about it. I just figured that I was meant to live in an unhappy marriage. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Anyway, both my WW and I made numerous mistakes over the course of our marriage. We both were unhappy, and as a result she turned to her "friend" who eventually became more than a "friend", but not if you ask my WW, of course.
Don't try to make sense out of nons...to solve problems within a relationship.

MIF

Agreed!!

MIF? & native00,

PTC is once a common acronym here in plan A ... Patience, Time and Consitency in order for plan A to work!.

hopeful_person's plan A really touched my heart and she reaped the reward ... a fulfilling M with her exH !. She is a FWW and she gave it all in her plan A.

-rh-

Well if she was a FWW and she gave it her all that is a lot different than my sitch. My WW is not/has not given her all. She has not given hardly anything at this point.

Thanks Red, MIF tell me to get out already... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Plan A can't last forever though, if MIF and I are trying and not seeing any rewards than eventually we have to move into Plan B. Can any BS here say that they have had a perfect plan A, if so then they are much better than me. I think mine has gone fairly well since I found MB.

native,

You are fine. Don't leave. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

My plan A went okay, I thought, until my anger came out. Then plan A went to the pooper. I started LBing all over the place. Unfortunately it only took about 2 months for that to happen. It would have been easier had my WW been able to give up the OM, but since she couldn't/hasn't my plan A fell apart. I then jumped to plan D (not recommended here at MB). I just don't want to drag this out any longer than I have to. If my WW won't give up OM, then I don't want to be with my WW. The sooner this is over the better.

MIF

I need to go & pick up my Carne Asada Burrito too <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> . My first 3 months of plan A was a disasterous ... but I learned and adjusted well. This is very important before BS goes to plan B.

Later ... -rh-

MIF,

I know how you feel about wanting it over. I'm also starting my anger phase. I get disgusted by the fact that my WW still sleeps in my bed (of course not with me, she waits till I leave) I have an adulterous W that is now on her OM#2 in my bed.

Since I've been back in the church I've rededicated my life to God. MIF this has given me much strength, in fact I just had another vent session with my MIL who has been a great help and source for me.

MIF what are your religious convictions, I don't want to preach, but you have nothing else to loose so why not give God a try?

This is also why I'm having trouble excepting my WW now though as it clearly states in the bible. THOU shall not commit adultery, and that we should not accept the person that continues to rebell against God. My WW was raised in the church and she is actively rebelling. Which is why I want her out of the house and my bed.

I guess my problem is, now that I have learned and adjusted, I am not sure I want my WW back.

I picture my life being better off without her. Let the OM have her and all her issues.

native,

I am, how do I say this, a christian, but do not attend church. I should start going, I know.