Most of you know I had to go to court to see my kids during Christmas break. My STBX kept changing her and my schedule to prevent me from seeing them.

Well I've had them for the past week and we had alot of fun, including my DD sleepover 14th birthday party.

I dropped them off at my "other" house this morning and went to work at the firehouse. Before long I got some phone calls. Both my kids, crying on the phone.

Broke my heart.

They'll never forget this Christmas.

<small>[ December 25, 2004, 04:15 PM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]</small>

TJ,

{{{(((hug)))}}} hang in there and vent in here.

They are older and the court would listen to 'em if they choose to stay with you more. For now be the best dad that they will ever remember, cherished the time w/ them.

-rh-

Tom, HUGS and sorry for your pain and your children's pain. WSs are such selfish A**H***s! Your children will always know and remember the love you have given them. Maybe this Christmas isn't their best, but your love for them will last their whole lives. God Bless! CV

((((((((((((((TJ))))))))))))))))

Dear TJ and family,

I am very sorry for the suffering you are enduring right now. It is not necessary yet mandatory (due to the WS' actions).

Our prayers of support w/b with you and your family. Enjoy each other's company and stick together. 1 pkg, 1 family.

Aloha,
L.

It just gets worse and worse. My STBX blames everything on everyone else. She treats the kids like trash and then blames them because they remember it. Everything is "thier" fault. It is not her fault or the result of her destructive behavior and affair. It is not the result of forcing her husband out of the home and away from his family.

If she wants to (and she wants to alot) she can treat me like trash all she wants. I'm a grown man. But to do this to the kids, and on Christmas Day.

She took the cell phone away from them so they can't call me. I gave them that phone the day I left home so they could call me anytime they wanted to. I wanted to always be available for them especially with what my STBX was busy doing.

My DD sounds so depressed. It seems like she is under some kind of punishment or restriction, 24/7 when she is home. My STBX says she is bad.

My STBX had her sisters over for Christmas. These are the same sisters that helped her continue her affair and encouraged it. My DD stayed in her room all day, my DS stayed outside at a neighbors. These Aunts always made fun of my children and picked on them. My kids never really wanted to be around them. The worst part of it was they felt betrayed by their mother because she never stood up for them, she always joined in with her sisters.

When we were together we argued about it alot. She would always say it was no big deal. But it was a huge deal to the kids. But of course it is not HER fault, it is someone elses fault. And she will talk alot, but do nothing.

Redhat,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">They are older and the court would listen to 'em if they choose to stay with you more. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">They often tell me they want to. They send emails and phone messages saying how unhappy they are.


CV, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Your right, WS are selfish, self-centered, jerks sometimes,... well alot of the time, ok ... most.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Maybe this Christmas isn't their best, but your love for them will last their whole lives. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I tried to make this Chirstmas special for them ... couldn't do as much as I had in the past, but did alot of other things that make it special. Gifts of time and attention and caring. They will remember this Christmas, but I don't think fondly. (of course it is NOT my STBX's fault about any of this, it is someone elses <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> )

Starfish, I needed that. Hugs feel especially good right now, even cyber ones. I try to get and give as many hugs as I can. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Orchid, Thanks of course. Will it ever end? My kids are such great kids - it breaks my heart to see what this has done and continues to do. What kinds of scars are they going to carry with them. How are they going to remember their Mom?

<small>[ December 25, 2004, 07:24 PM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]</small>

Tom Joad,
My heart goes out to you too! I'd second everyone's good advice: be the best dad you can be and come to your friends at MB (and hopefully you have a circle of friends nearby too) when you need comfort.

SurvivingInNC -- looking forward to a week with children starting Monday and grateful for a good phone conversation with them today (WW, OM, and her parents were all together for the Big Day, I'm told, and my daughter said Grandma and Granddaddy got OM some roasted, salted mixed nuts. I love the symbolism! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

TJ,

My heart goes out to you. Your children are being hurt unnesessarily and there is nothing you can do about it. It is very hard to be in that situation. The others are right. Your children will know that you are their for them and their Mom isn't. The are already learning that. But, I know just that fact that your children are not happy is painful enough. It isn't about you and her; it is about them.

Just hang in there and love them that is all you can do right now.

Cathy