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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 197
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 197 |
I don't even know where to post -- I am in between D and I don't know. My MIL called worried that my WH has not called her back at all. He was MIA at Christmas for our kids and his family. She went to check where he was staying and the OW car and his car were there. Obviously on some sort of vacation. I have been knowing this was real -- but it really hurts when its in your face. I am sick all over again -- I don't even know what I want. How do we hold our head up high when every turn our WS's muddy boots are squashing us down. I can't stand this -- when am I going to get mad, I am just sick.
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 485
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 485 |
tdr,
I'm sorry for your pain. I don't know if I have much else for as far as advice goes. I can only offer my support. You've been going through this since March? That is a very long time. I guess everyone is different in there emotions, I'm hitting my anger period now I think after about 3 months. Everyone is different though. Although from what I've read at MB, if your still sick and hurt than that means you still want your H back and your M to work. May I ask why the D? Did you file or your H? Hopefully a vet can answer your questions better.
Prayers to you, Native.
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 197
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 197 |
Why a D? I don't know what else to do. He went crazy 3 weeks ago -- after I confronted him with real proof. He took the tires off my car, he screwed the doors shut to our house and took out my newly installed dishwasher out and threw it out of the house. We went thru two days of him yelling at me telling me to leave telling me to stay - crying telling me he and his gf made the decision not to hurt me and the kids and decided to get an abortion. That he could not have nc with ow because he would just be a depressed mess.
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 197
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 197 |
Well MIL called OW mother -- OW mother has not talked to her daughter since I called the OW mother and told on OW(as my kids would say). But the OW mother thinks they (WH & OW) are just hiding out. I am sick all over again.
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 485
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 485 |
Wow that is some crazy stuff. I see your reasons for wanting the D. But maybe a RO would be better? Just a though here, but if he's getting violent you would have cause for an RO. Then maybe if you got the RO it would slap him in the face and wake up. Just a thought here.
I'm at the point in my sitch where I'm trying to think of anything to get my WW to wake up. Once I can think of nothing else and have tried my hardest I will be moving to Plan B.
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 321
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 321 |
tdr...has your husband been violent in the past?
His response to your telling the OW's Mother was excessive at the least. Abusive to both you and your children. Are you back in the home? Sadly to say I think you have held out long enough.
He may one day regret his choices, but IMO you should move on. His behavior seems beyond FOG to me and continuing in a relationship with him does not seem healthy for you or your children.
All I can say is surround yourself with good people and get through this the best you can.
My prayers are with you.
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 197
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 197 |
Thanks Waiting
I have been living with my parents for the last 3 weeks. We have a Temporary Protective Order against by WH that I plan on dismissing tomorrow. My WH did those things while I was at a neighbor's house -- but whether I was there or not it is wrong (I have to keep telling myself that).
The kids and I plan on going back home today --its time to get back to reality as much as I hate it. And as much as I hate it -- the M is over.
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 321
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 321 |
I am sure for you this is the most God awful thing. For me the realization that someone I loved so much and gave everything to could now look at me with cold iciness was almost too much. But my kids need a healthy happy Mom, and yours do too. It won't be going back to "normal" as the kids knew before but you can make it good for them. Lean on your parents and friends. They will get you through it
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