just got off the phone with WH. Or should i say STBXH. I had snapped on saturday night because WH didnt come over and i thought he might be with OW. I had lots of voicemails from wh saying stuff like "ilove you" and "babe, what do you want me to bring home for dinner" and so forth. so i called up OW's answering service and played them all for her on the offchance i was wrong (or so i had hoped) Wh spent sunday night with me and when OW arrived at work she had quite a shock. at the end of all the voicemails i said "now who do you think he left those for?" i guess he was up to his old tricks telling her we had divorced and such nonsense. His phone started ringing like crazy in the morning and he just shut it off.i spied over his shoulder and it was her. i said who was that my love? he said oh this one guy. all day we had convos and he didnt mention anything to me so i got happy. maybe he WAS telling the truth when he said he had nothing to do with her anymore.well the trouble started at 1:30 am. me:arent you coming over here? him: no, i have stuff to do.
well this is too long so ill just type the significant stuff.Him:why cant you just leave **** alone? me:do you realize how stupid that sounds that you expect me to let you commit adultery and not say anything? him: it was ending slowly you just have to keep poking your nose in my business! me: when you married me it became my business where you stick your [censored]! him: i love you so much, i cant live without you and i cant let you go. me: when was the last time you had sex with ow? him: (much hemming and hawing) this week sometime. me: funny way you have of showing it, thats it i want out of this sham of a marriage. him: no just give me a week to get everything straightened out me: <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> i have been giving you a week since aug. 14th you are all out of weeks. him:(after repeating give me a week 17 times) ALL RIGHT FINE!!!! IF YOU DONT WANT TO GIVE ME A WEEK YOUR THROWING AWAY OUR MARRIAGE!!!! me: goodbye nelson.

He just called again. Says it doesnt have to be over. I said i want a divorce, you have brought us to this by your continued lies and bull****, i just dont want to deal with it anymore. :him give me a week <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> . i am so damn sick and tired of give me a week.

you continue to choose in to this chaos..

Your husband is behaving like an alligator....yet you keep approaching him like a kitten...
and when he bites you...
you just go back for more...

when is enough enough...

you need to go to plan B which at this point I even loathe to use the words or label as such cause mostly you need to be strong enough to say that you are NOT the third line of a triangle period......

but you need to stand up and say enough is enough
exactly what do you want from a man who within the week has had sex with another woman...

what exactly do you want from that isn't answered in that act...inspite of his words?

there actions of sexual contact are sooo disrespectuful to themselves and to you..and even they know it...they cling to it and pretend it hold great meaning ...but they know it is a shallow pursuit....

quit petting the alligator...

remove yourself from the chaos...

plan b today ..
enough is enough...

ARK

Thank you Ark.My H is surprised that i know him so well. When he asked for a week for the 1000th time i told him "you just want a week to convince your whore to continue your dirty little affair and to take a backseat to me." Shocked silence met my statement followed by a whole bunch of denials. I know you are right, i pray to God not to let me crack this time.

so post your plan b letter today....

and then go from there

ark

shelley,

Clean up your language, get out of the mud with these folks and go find some peaceful higher ground. Don't feed the drama....it's like feeding that alligator ark is talking about.

wait a minute star...

don't folks eat gator in your part of the BAYOU!!!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

hmmmm that could be plan C...might be on to sumpin

ARK

hahahahha ark!....a nice "alligator sauce piquant" might just be a good addition to the menu!! Plan E!!! Eat the alligator!

I know this isn't the PC thing to say on this site, but I'd seriously give my right arm if my husband told me he didn't want to end our marriage, he never says those words....his actions say them, but the words never pass his lips.

He spent the night here last night, I wonder what he tells her when he's here......does he get all snippy with her too and tell her he's just going to be "out"??

I've been doing a horrible job of plan A, trying to remedy that now, I have such a temper, and once in a while I snap and LB, which sets me back weeks each time.

Friday is New Years Eve, and I would love it if my husband spent it with me, but I refuse to ask him, I know him well enough to know he'll be asking me what I'm doing anytime now. And I actually made plans to go out. He's going to have all sorts of condescending things to say to that, he doesn't want me going out, but I'm just going to try to be nice to him, and not LB when he starts lobbing those missiles in my direction.

How did you "play" your messages onto her machine?

I probably would have done exactly the same thing, I'd jump at the chance to make the OW twist in the wind.

-Caren

Caren, i called her on my house phone and played them by holding my cellphone to the earpiece. please excuse my horrible language, but when i get angry i dont realize what im saying. As for you wanting to hear your h say the words that mine says, there only words. i've heard them so many times before with no actions to back them up. he just wants to keep me and her and thats not gonna happen. I also did what i think in the beginning was "worlds worst plan A <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> " I ran into his car, so i dont think you could do any worse than me. Thanks all who responded.