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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 344
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 344 |
why do ww/wh always put the blame on bs. it boggles my mind. i read these threads and they all say the same thing .
it has nothing to do with op
it was over a long time ago
etc etc etc
and i really think they believe it.
this is very hard for a logical person to grasp.
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060 |
They have to blame somebody other than themselves and the BS is the closest, easiest target and the only other person so invested in the alternative (staying married).
AND > they probably do really believe it. Again, they HAVE to in order to justify what they're doing.
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,380
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,380 |
Hi dalson,
Like Dr.Phil says, "You can't make sense out of nonsense".So don't try.Why does a person murder another? Why would some woman strangle another woman and cut her baby out of her "womb" just so she could have one for herself(without adoption)???? It's a crazy world we live in filled with some very sick and confused people making very bad choices.It's something you could think about for years and years and years and never quite get an answer to.
O
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 344
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 344 |
it just drives me freakin nuts... i try to figure it out and she throws something at me so off the wall that i have to make her repeat it so that i can believe what i heard.
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 317
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 317 |
My WH has a different story every time we go to MC. He follows the party line for WS. I use the input I get here to help me prepare for the next lie. I love Orchid's reverse babble. It helps cut through the fog a little.
It's so frustrating to listen to somebody who was generally (pre-A) an intelligent, well-educated, logical individual spout some of the worst nonsense to come out of anyone's mouth. I like the line that you can't make sense of nonsense.
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 344
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 344 |
the worse part is they actually believe it
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 551
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 551 |
I thought the same things about a year ago. On my second, I think, post I asked something to the effect of... let me get this straight, my W has an A on me and I'm the one that is supposed to do all the making up!?!?!? Can someone please explain that to me? To which I got the following one sentence reply... That's what we are all trying to figure out.
When we start out here a lot of the MB concepts seem to defy logic. I know they did to me but I desperatly wanted to save my M and I didn't have any better alternatives so I just went with them and low and behold they worked.
I can honestly say that without the MB concepts the chances of me being M today would have been only slightly better than zero.
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 344
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 344 |
congrats on your sitch,
i just get real frustrated at some of the things she says.
my sitch is a little different. i didnt find out about the a until after we seperated. i suspected but didnt know for sure.
she would turn everything around and make me the bad guy.and she still does. i am very curious how long they believe this garbage or if there is even a chance for her to raise from the fog.
the a has been over for a month and a half.
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 551
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 551 |
You say the A has been over but are you sure of NC?
They can and will get past the FOG in time. I know there is some debate over this but I believe you can plan A while seperated. All it really means is presenting the best you that you can and letting the giver in you take control. Sounds like dating huh?
Good luck.
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 344
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 344 |
yes pretty sure he lives out of state i exposed to his w and we keep in touch and she has him under lock and key.
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 110
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 110 |
well i agree with everyone trying to get thru all the babble of blaming the BS for the affair. I try to figure this out all the time. I ofter wonder what am I doing in the relationship still hear to listen to all this bs.
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 344
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 344 |
ill have to agree with you on both points i wonder every day why i am so dedicated to this m and all the bs being spewed
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