When asked if my husband will leave me... Here is her response...

I believe too that if I left today and never spoke to him, he would eventually leave whether I was in the picture or not. He married for the wrong reasons it seems as well and no one seems happy.


This makes me so angry... She only hears one side of the story.. HIS... Also I wonder did she ever think about the fact that he may have been happy before she stuck her big nose in the picture.

And if she thinks he will leave me no matter if she is involved or not... Then why doesn't she step out of the picture and let things alone to see what happens? She is one selfish woman... She is posting on the OW site... I know I shouldn't read her crap and I am not from now on...

She is there bragging and boasting about being with a married man...And I can't see why my husband would want to be with someone like that. Especially since he told her I read her posts and she is purposing posting stuff to try to hurt me.

One thing I always wonder is... If a person lies to their family, friends, kids and spouse... What makes the OP think that they always tell the truth to them... I guess they think they are special or something.

<small>[ December 28, 2004, 01:47 PM: Message edited by: SadMarylandLady ]</small>

OMG I'M GOING TO SMACK YOU...

We love you, and believe in you.....would you PLEASE STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THERE. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Let's face it....if he wanted to "be with her"....he would have been already.

What does she have to be proud of ? How stupid of a statement is this ?

You're trying to deal with ADULT SITUATIONS IN THE MIND OF A CHILD.....STOP OR WE WILL COME AND HUNT YOU DOWN.


(((((((((((((((((((((((sml)))))))))))))))))))))))

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> What makes the OP think that they always tell the truth to them... I guess they think they are special or something. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Unfortunately, that is what they think. Just recently, when my H found out that OW was telling people that he pursued her for no reason, and she was forced to quit Scouts and stuff to try and stay away from him, he was very upset.

This OW was my former best friend, and it hurt me terribly that her and H lied to me and had an EA turned PA. So when she lied about H, it didn't surprise me at all. Why wouldn't she lie?

When I asked H why he was so upset, he said that it didn't make sense and wasn't logical, but even though they lied to everyone during their A he really thought at least they didn't lie to each other. And she effectively has "betrayed" him by laying all the blame and responsibility solely on him, like he was a stalker or something.

And, the reason OW dumped my H is because he confessed the A to me. She felt "betrayed" by him, and got herself another boyfriend right away. H left his family for her, and she shunned him, because he couldn't stand the lying anymore.

So, it is my opinion, that the WS and the OP have very strange expectations of each other ~ that they both continuously lie to the world, but be truthful and honest with each other. It is my experience that truth doesn't work that way.

Spidey

How does one know that someone isn't lying to them?
How do your really know? Even if you've known the person for 100 years. How does one know?

with my ww , her lips are moving

Betrayed,
I totally agree... I need to remove myself from her little game. I allowed myself to get involved in it... Now I feel like a idiot

I guess when I hear these things.. I start to think there is no hope that things will change. But I know that his feelings and emotions change from day to day. Just as mine does. So nothing is set in stone.

I see positive changes in him.. Even though if anyone says that to him. He will deny deny deny. He makes hints of maybe trying in the future for the right reasons. And even said today that just like his other things he was so into it grows old and he stops..

I guess I let her get to me more than I should. She is the one who will have to answer for what she is doing one day. It just bothers me though when she makes statements saying she cares about his children and doesn't want to hurt them.. BUT she doesn't want to be hurt either. To me that is selfish... She knew that he was married and allowed herself to become involved so if she gets hurt it's her own fault. The children are innocent. They will be hurt and they didn't ask for any of this...

I did sit down and make a list of things I would like to do... Things when I start focusing on her that I could be doing... My goal is to get them done in the New Year.

I am going to start exercising, writing a romance novel, winter cleaning ( getting rid of old crap), looking for a job around here, eating right, working on the things that I know I don't like (nagging and such), being a better mother to the children , taking care of myself ( gonna get my hair highlighted and get some new clothes for my thinner body), setting some personal goals, figure out new ways to make more money, make plans to travel someplace new, learn self defense, take some classes to learn a new hobby and such and last but not least try to remove myself from focusing OW... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> .

How do you stop from bringing up the OW to your WH constantly? I have a problem with this. It's like I wake up with that on the brain and usually blurt something out and LB.

SML -

There is no contact between WH and OW anymore, right?

For me I have to make a conscious decision of what I won't bring up. And usually I have to keep making that decision to not bring it up until it is not a part of my daily thought process, or atleast it is no longer something I have to keep bringing up outloud.

I have a very real problem with my mouth and so I can really relate to this.

In fact I was going to start an exercise for myself in keeping my mouth shut by becomming a lurker and not posting for awhile. It'll be very hard for me, but I need to work on just listening and not blurting out for awhile.

Tina, It's hard to have someone intrude into your life because of your husband's lies, and be so naive/blind/etc to believe that a liar only lies to his wife - his covenant relationship... Sigh.

So it's difficult for you to not obscess. But that is exactly what you must do. I will e-mail you more details, as I'm certain your OW is as obscessed, or moreso than you are with what you think, feel, etc. Or she wouldn't be bothering to post on TOW.

You've got something she wants. And she wants you to feel pain and love-bust your husband. So watch your e-mail.

Oh, and OW - I'm sure you're reading. Remember that you are part of his biggest lie. And when he repents of that lie, where does that leave you? Don't pray to the father of lies for your prayers to be answered. He doesn't care about you - only that you fail and fall and hurt so that he can feed off of your pain. And he's loving using you as his instrument of evil torture on another woman and her children. Just know that no good can come from that kind of evil.

And the Father of Truth wants you to repent too! Get a clue!

The OW is 'stinky'. Think she will take that thought back with her to the TOW board? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

That's why she has to work so hard at pretending her A lifestyle doesn't smell as bad as it does.

All that perfume (blaming you) will not cover up the stench of her A trail.

Let's say, your WS finally wakes up and realizes the stink hole he is really in and decides to clean up his life, making himself attractive to you and your family....that OW will still be stinky. Why? Because neither you nor your H can make her get cleaned up. Only she can.... most likely she won't and regardless of who or what she is, she will take her stench to the next R. Spreading the A disease farther.

Oh yea.... the TOW board just loves when the BS and their supporters ID the real culprit...... all the bleach (beauty treatments), soap (A makeup - made from A lard), makeup (to cover the A blemishes) will not hide their stench.

Well....it sure does good to 'clear the air' on that subject! LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

So SML, just stay out of that A draft. It stinks! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

L.

this may sound stupid is there really a tow board

Dalson,

There is no real sane reason for a TOW board but in this day and age of the need to share.....grief and misery seems to be what some want....so the TOW board(s) were created.

TOW - The Other Woman.

1 of them is gloryb.com, there are othres. The OPs (both men and women) are mostly women sharing their misery and looking for A support. That's kind of like alcoholics going to a bar to stop drinking....but in the fog....who knows how the OPs interpret help.

In their times of enraged hormones and synopsis shorts, they periodically come here to vent. Some brag, others try to inflict their 'knowledge' and try to teach the OP way of life here at places like MB.

Like their A, even their drive by's don't last. Just gives credence to what we already know. Their A is a feable attempt to create what they can't have or refuse to get in a decent way. Like a spoiled bullish child who feels they have the right to invade another's family to steal what they can't have.

Then again, we have some stupid spouses who think they are actually helping these damsel's in distress. What those KISA syndrome patients fail to realize is that they are not damesel's in distress, they are just pretending to look helpless.

JMHO, again. Watch out for the flames which may blow this way! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

L.

Just an added point: Since the stench exists....it is a protection of sorts (in a sordid smelly way).

Before the OPs presence is felt, you can smell 'em a mile away. This will allow the BS and family time to seek shelter or take protective action from being overcome by the smell.

See why it is such a good analogy? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

L.

that is so f!@#$ing disgusting!!!!
dont people have any morals anymore.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by dalson:
<strong> that is so f!@#$ing disgusting!!!!
dont people have any morals anymore. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes it is disgusting. Now you need to put on your filter and keep on plugging. Removing yourself from their line of attack is vital to your personal recovery. Regardless if you are dealing with a OW or OM, it is important to not keep being part of the triangle you have been hooked into. Much against your will....but hooked nonetheless.

It takes time to get to that level. Praying for a clear mind, a calm heart and lots of patience is important to your survival.

Remember the OP doesn't not care about the surival of the family. Their motive is very selfish. That's the one constant factor in the A. Regardless of what babbles out of their mouths.

L.

Dalson, Some people like to do disgusting just for show. And believe me, most of that site is just for show, because lives that full of pain have to try to fool everybody into believing they're enjoying being on the string of a liar and vow breaker.

They hate to be ignored. They hate to be insignificant. Think Jerry Springer and change the channel!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Watch out for the flames which may blow this way </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />


<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ***BIJ on the lookout*** <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

my curiosity got the best of me.
one thread was all it took.

BLLAAAAAAHH!!!!!

THAT IS WORSE THAN PORN!!!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Orchid:
<strong> Dalson,

There is no real sane reason for a TOW board but in this day and age of the need to share.....grief and misery seems to be what some want....so the TOW board(s) were created.

TOW - The Other Woman. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Do you think it would be appropriate for a WS (such as myself) to go there and let them know why most WS's had/have them around? *evil grin*

Now really-who in their right mind would want to be an OW. Yea-they think our H's all stopped sleeping with us-truth is we never stopped having sex. They only hear the hook-the come on that MM will give them to get them in the sack. MM don't call them all the time, only when they are horny-they believe that it is real love-well if it is, why are they so afraid the wife will find out? Are they afraid their MM will leave them-so much for true love. They pad themselves with the excuse that MM won't leave because of the kids and the "money". Well-if he was that miserable-why wouldn't he leave. I wouldn't want to be a bandaid for someone else's marriage.