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FM...If you're still lurking...Just wanted to see how you were doing...and wish you and your children a Happy New Year...everyday is more promising than the last...every day is just yet another blessing we have received...everyday is just another opportunity for you to show your beautiful children that family really does matter. Take care, brother. Prayers continue!
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Liny,
I am so pleased that you continue to ask after Familyman, as I think of him often too. And his troubled young daughter.
Happy New Year FM! Wishing you all the best!
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Thanks weaver--You and yours too!
I think of familymatters quite a bit. Weird sorta connection--found MB at the same time, same age, etc. Even though we were on opposite sides of the fence so to speak, he taught me a lot. I hope I gave him some wisdom too--even though I had my own little relapse. Last time I posted a thread like this, he said he had just filed. I hope things are better for him and his children. Even his WW. I feel for her too.
Anyhoo, Happy New Years!!!!!!
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Thanks folks!!
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks Liny!
Thanks Weaver!
and anyone else who may have thought about me and wished me well.
Updates:
Since Deciding to divorce my WW and move on with my life:
My car window has been smashed TWICE
A friend that I met received hateful threatening email from unknown sources.
I have received email from unidentified sources stating I was being watched.
I served my STBXW by certified mail, infact she recieved the papers yesterday. I believe she will fight the divorce to prolong the fence-sitting.
My STBXW will NOT allow me to move on but does NOTHING to remedy our marital issues. She shares and apartment with a friend, our daughter is still missing, our S lives at home with me but she does get him every other weekend or so..
How dare she try to hold onto me even though she claims marriage is too confining and she wants her freedom?!?!?!?
We will have it out in court because I will no longer stay married to a wife who's not sure she wants to be a wife!
I had a happy new year though...
Quite, Alone and Peaceful..but very reflective and full of anticipation for a rewarding 2005!!
I'm even purusing a dream of mind to be a MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER!!! I joined a local TOASTMASTERS and I'm in training.If my D would come home safely and my W finally accept the hell she's put us both through and move on with her life without lashing out at me...I could have some PEACE.
IMAGINE THAT:
My wife has emotionally tortured, neglected and decieved me for almost 2 years...she has abandoned me and our kids 3 or 4 times and when I finally say ENOUGH and throw in the towel...now she lashes out at me.
Ironic isn't it?
Well, at least I'll have lots of information to share with my audiences on the speakers circuits.
God Bless You All!!
{{{{{{MB}}}}}}}
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(((((((FM))))))
I have not really followed your situation closely, but just wanted to say I admire you for moving on and pursuing being a motivational speaker....
Best wishes to you!
NOW
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((FM))
I've thought about you and your sitch often too...I too am glad to see you are ready to move on, and the outlook for M.S. sounds like something you'd be great at - as you said, you've got plenty to talk about!
As for your D - I'm sorry to hear she's not returned - do you have any info on where she might be? Aren't you in FL? Did you post a pic here at one time? Don't know if it would help, but maybe?
Prayers for you and family!
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{{{{{{FM}}}}}}}
Was truly hoping for some better news than that...BUT...seems like you're doing OK--you will be OK!
So sorry to hear about your D...just hope she hears through the grapevine you are trying to end the madness with your WW and maybe that your D will realize that this is where it started--your WW, and where you are ending it--your WW. Besides the "normal" trials of life as a teenager, just as you, your DD (&DS) don't "deserve" this either.
It's just amazing the "coincidences" of the ocurrences that are happening. Just be careful.
So glad to hear you are pursuing something you will enjoy. With your stature and your writing talents/blessings, you could turn out to be one heck of a PS!
brown and I are doing OK. One day at a time. She's been having a lot of triggers lately. I am now creating the safe place for her I should have started to do 13 years ago. I'm finally gaining her trust back. And we're doing this together. There's been a lot of turmoil around us that is just creating so much more stress. I suppose, just tests, so to speak. But, we'll make it. And be happy about it too. Something I couldn't have said even two months ago.
Please take care of yourself and that son of yours! Continued prayers for your family, FM. IF you would like, feel free to email me every now and again, fitzirishcream@optonline.net. At the very least, check in here every so often and let us know how things are going. A lot of us still do care how you are doing!
LINY
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Hi FM, I was in DC/MD area and was sending positive vibes your way. I am glad to hear that you are making a success story of your life. I am sure we all wished it could have turned out differently, but you tried really, really hard and it was not in the cards. So now...it is time to put the energy into you and your son...and your daughter when she returns home. You did great and are doing great and along the way made some cyber friends. Thanks for the support you sent my way.
New happy year.....and I say it this way because it is a new fresh start and we are going to be happy this year.
{{{{{{{{{{FM}}}}}}}}}}}
ss
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Happy new year FM! I had wondered how you were doing, Im sorry your DD is still missing.About your STBXW's stalking tecniques i go thru that myself when I try to tell my WH that its time to admit we cant fix our marriage and go our separate ways." We are NOT getting a divorce and thats FINAL!!!!" is what i hear. I hope you find your DD soon. Will be praying for her safe return. {{{{{{{FM}}}}}}}
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Thanks MB!!! Shelly, Sure..(You were in DC/MD area, I hope you enjoyed your stay)YL, NotOnly...and SURE I'll stay in touch Liny. I'll be writing you soon. Sometimes it's just difficult to take everything in stride, you can't help but feel a tad resentful, but then I remember it's my W's loss not mine. I have developed interests and ambitions beyond resuscitating my floudering marriage and it feels GOOD. I do however hope ANYONE who reads this, if you're shortly after D-DAY PLEASE GET IN A PROGRAM RIGHT AWAY!! The BS eventually runs out of gas and gets tired of suffering the punishement of their fog ridden mate, at least that's my experience. I felt good filing for D, and I felt even better serving those papers, but non-emotional more like a task on my to do list. A few months ago I would have been DEVESTATED by the recent turn of events, but these days I'm stronger, more focused on my future than a past I cannot change and a W I cannot lead to water let alone persuade her to drink. Get in a Plan Today!!!!! It's the BS who usually quits, and that's what may spur the WS to awake from their fog induced coma, but if the BS has been in any plan too long they might not care if the WS is starting to revive...Too Little, Too Late, Sowwie. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
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Hello, FM, and Happy New Year!
Say, what do you mean about this new "friend" you've met?
GC
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by graycloud: <strong> Hello, FM, and Happy New Year! Say, what do you mean about this new "friend" you've met? GC </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">New friend..ex friend I should say... ... thats just the thing... she was someone I met who seemed really cool, interesting whatever but no haps until my divorce is over...but as things look my W will try to stall me on that... My W left me 4 times GC 4 times in the last what 9 months. She has had her own place with a roommate for a few months now, I have filed for divorce and served her papers. My M is over. I have been focused on my children and developing my own life. It's hard having a social life when you are a full-time parent. I have my son most weeks and my wife visits with him a couple weekends out of the month.... I'm not sure what you're driving at, but my M is over partner. My wife ended it when she repeatedly abandoned US and kept her R with OM ongoing for YEARS during our reconciliation, used my vehicle to see him, hid the truth from me repeatedly and in the end chose her old "Single" lifestyle over our M. Good luck in your endeavors, I have made my choice and do not feel anyone that I meet in the future has anything whatsoever to do with my decision to end my marriage. That is how I see my life, and everyone is entitled to their own choices and conscience. I bet you weren't expecting me to say all of that huh? I will also add, the only thing I regret is not accepting my marriage was over months ago...instead of hurting myself by refusing to accept the truth. The truth is alot less painful once you accept it, acknowledge it and begin to focus on life *after the trauma and the positive possibilities...I'm still a little mad at myself for staying cooped up in a marriage for 2 years busting my hump while my wife strolled in at 12, 1 and 2 am from spending time with her single friends and OM....No more GC, no more. It's time FM started living again. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
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Not judging you, FM, just fishing. You fought hard, no doubt. I thought maybe you brought up this person 'cause you wanted, in a way, to get called out to discuss it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Hey hey, I hope your DD turns up soon. The worry must be crazy-making. I've got several people waiting for me to give them the green light to fix me up with their friends. Not sure when I'll be ready. GC
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by graycloud: <strong> Not judging you, FM, just fishing. You fought hard, no doubt. I thought maybe you brought up this person 'cause you wanted, in a way, to get called out to discuss it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Hey hey, I hope your DD turns up soon. The worry must be crazy-making. I've got several people waiting for me to give them the green light to fix me up with their friends. Not sure when I'll be ready. GC </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">GC, I hear yah partner and you're right the situation with my D is crazy making lol, but the truth is she's absconded not been abducted so she must decide to come home. I am positive my allowing my W to runaway and return all those times did nothing but send a signal to my D that this was *acceptable behaviour. GC... I'm not READY for another woman, well I"M READY...but I'm not EMOTIONALLY READY. I'd do nothing but hurt someone unintentionally, right now I have WAY too much baggage. WHEW! but GC you may be further along in your own personal recovery. I try to be careful who I tell about my situation, in MD, DC area there are many women looking for a relationship or marriage, but like I said I'm a FULL-TIME dad, it's my wife who has a life...I'm in the process of finally getting one. Thanks GC I have fought the Good Fight and I did it with Dignity and Respect for Myself. I can look back and know I have nothing to be ashamed of and that feeling was worth all the lonely nights my wife left me while she did her own thing. Anyone reading this, KEEP YOUR CONVICTIONS, it'll be worth it in the long run knowing you have nothing to be ashamed of. Believer? I hope your doing terrific. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
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