Is he on vacation? It's been a long time since he posted. Last time we "talked", he was laying flagstones. I hope he is okay...

Bumping....

I was just wondering the same and having a NEW year....TTSi....are you out there lurking?

Hey TTSi,

Saw that you were on the boards, even though you have not been on the computer much....just thought I would write...how are you doing?

Hope you are okay....ss

Hey, TTSi. How are things? Thanks for the post. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Yeah, a few kicks would be well deserved!

Are you okay? What's the latest? Inquiring minds want to know!

lurking.....lurking...we see you lurking, TTSi....

Long time, no hear...how are you?

TTsi. What's going on? HOw are YOU?

Man...FAagain....we cannot seem to find TTSi...he is popping in and out...but we keep trying.....sightings...have only have sightings....

Woah.. Didn't see this here before. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

It's true I haven't been around much for awhile. Needed to take a break and relax a little.

Although I did take a few minutes now and then to check in on everyone.. Wish there were more happy endings for the people on this board. For both of you as well. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

The weather has gotten extremely cold here in Texas this winter! I think it was 60 yesterday
I'm not sure how much longer I am going to be able to take these freezing conditions. Maybe someone can send me a blanket?

Personally for me, not much has changed. W has pretty much gone her own way. I have had a couple of emails from her, but only when she wants something. The last asking me to mail her a couple of pictures. I did do that for her, as it's a reasonable request. But nothing else. Didn't really try to converse with her.

I did find out she was trying to sell her wedding dress on Ebay. She did not get a buyer, but I think for me that action has pushed me over the edge. I remember how much she loved that dress, and was so thankful for having it.
Even when we have had problems in our marriage before, she would always say she'd never get rid of that dress. I think that action by her really put everything in perspective for me. I'm struggling with what I have to do, and it's going to take some time I think (to act on it), but I'm going to have to end the marriage I believe.

Unless some miracle happens, it looks like it is going to be up to me to finish it.
I'm going to have to deal with this. I'm not ready to go forward with it just yet. But I can feel that time coming nearer.

It's funny and yet sad that her family is still completely in my camp. They want me to come visit them sometime soon. And I'd like to, but I'm not sure if I should. I guess it just feels a little funny.

My brother and his family are still trying to set me up with women. They know I'm not interested in doing anything right now, but they do want me to make friends with some of them.

A few weeks ago, I went to a birthday celebration for my brothers wife's brother,
(that doesn't sound right...)
anyway, the birthday boy's girlfriend has one of her co-workers there, who was definitely after me. I had met her before, along with her husband at a dinner a few months prior to that. Seems they are now getting divorced. While it felt good to know that my intuition still works good, as the girlfriend confirmed later that she was after me, at the same time, I wanted to commit suicide..... The lady that liked me... well, she would be the first that has chased me a bit since this whole thing started.... except....
I'M CLOSER IN AGE TO HER SON THAN I AM TO HER
AND HE IS 10 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME!

Yep, She was way into her forties...

Now that I've offended a whole lot of people reading this... let me save face by saying that I did consider having relations with her. If not for anything else, but to mess with her son,
ala American Pie (Stifler's mom) Muahahaha

Anyway, that's about it right now....
FAA, I am sorry things have gotten to where they are right now for you. Wish there was something we could all do... Sounds like you are pretty much ready to end it. I'm sorry. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

And SS, I haven't seen an update about you for awhile, although I'm sure you have posted one.
What's been going on with you?

Oh sure, I finally post an update and all I hear are crickets! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

{{{TTSi}}} So glad to see you are Okay. I missed you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> And no, I am not hitting on you <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> LMAO. You are young enough to be my son! BUt, I have friends younger than you. I try not to restrict myself. If people are interesting who cares. Age is a state of mind. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I know how a break from here is a good thing sometimes.

YOur WW is still messed up. Sigh. I know how you feel when they do somthing like the wedding dress. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> My WH came over at Xmas and took his tools that I bought him over the years, and gave them to the ditchpig. He is her handymand now, I guess. Leaving me to struggle with this mess <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> Just another stab through the heart. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

DOn't know if you have kept up with my soap opera. BUt, I just bought a townhouse on my own! YAY! THis is a first for me. I am resigned to the fact that the Dork is still a DOrk. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> HUrts like he!!

He doesn't deserve me! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Hey TTSi,

It is so good to read your post....things sound pretty much the same with WW.....boy, selling a wedding dress on ebay....desperate people do desperate things...based on your prior research on the OM and what a disturbed human being he is...maybe things are crashing in WW's world....which is not something you would wish, but it may be more of a reality than WW cares to admit....that is a sorry thing for her and the new life she just brought into the world.

If only she knew the safe world that you could provide for her...tsk, tsk....hope she defogs before it is too late.

I am really glad to hear you are okay although really cold...

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Blanket}}}}}}}}}}}}

It is me, tossing you a blanket <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

As for me...I am doing okay.....FWH began NC for real November 2. It took plan B, false recovery and Plan #2 to seriously defog him. Plan B #1 was in Sept...just before he went overseas. I gave him the PBL and then went dark. He called and called, but I stayed dark. He promised NC, agreed to the terms and came home. We went to the MB weekend, but contact continued. About a month later, while we were out of town, I saw him with his second cell phone. I confronted him about it and he went ballistic. I stated NC means NC and I left. He called and called me, but I grabbed a plane and flew home, right then and there. When I finally answered the phone, he asked what I was doing--I said being safe. He asked if I sent PBL to OW, I said yes. She was LBing him big time. He drove home that night and I asked him to leave, he would not leave the house, so I left. It took about three days until he came to his senses.

TTSi, you were so helpful to me during this time to keep me strong and give me support and good advice. {{{{{TTSi}}}}}}}}}

That week in November, he finally broke it off with her. He had changed his cell number, our home phone, and our email address. He agreed to coaching with SH at MB...thank God for SH and MB. Since then I have proceeded cautious and carefully.....I have been filling his recreation EN and took golf lessons. Now he looks forward to being with me as his buddy.

I am still in a safe protected place. Having fun with him, but my heart is not out there. I feel so damaged sometimes, but I am healing slowly. It has been almost four months in recovery. Coaching and proof must continue.

I am sooooooooo glad that you are okay....I understand the need to relax...good for you.....I think it is great that people are flirting with you and you did not succumb to the temptation at this time....it would make things messy although at some level it makes you feel better about yourself.

Stay positive and continue to work on you.....that is the only way we will make it through.

God bless, TTSi and thanks for the update. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ February 20, 2005, 12:23 AM: Message edited by: SureSurvivor ]</small>

I'm out the door right now, but just wanted to update that I'm now in the MB photo album finally. So you all can put a face to the name.

Saw your pic, TTSi. YOu look like my son.! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Well, it sounds like life is getting a little better for you. But, those darn triggers sure get in the way.

It's nice that you ILs are on your side. Makes me wonder who DOES suport your WW?

My WH has all new "friends" None that knew "US"! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I have NEVER met any of them. Guess tha tmakes it easy for him to justify what he is doing and done. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

I think starting with all new friends is par for the course with WS. I know she still has one friend that she had previously. That 'friend' is one of those people that will accept anything. W likes to call her 'non-judgemental' uh huh.

I'm positive that any new friends she has made have been told complete lies about the affair. Heck, she even tried to lie about the whole thing to parts of her family a few months ago.. Telling them that I left her, but that she found a new man that she loves!

It was her way of trying to slink back into her family. Didn't work. Once her parents found out about it, they set those parties straight with the truth. So that ended right there...

Is it easier for you, these days? Are you happier?

I don't mean to be snoopy. I am just following down that path to D. Trying to accept the unacceptable. Because I have no choice. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Good days outweigh the bad? Are you dating yet? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Okay I will mind my own business. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Hmmm... I don't think I would say that I'm happier. The best way I can describe it is that I can cope with it better, now that more time has passed. Hye, you're never snoopy, unless you can play a mean piano and have a little yellow bird hanging around. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Good days I think are now at least more even with the bad days... For me, thats saying a lot.
I still am having a hard time seeing everything she has thrown in the trash in her life over the last year.... I guess I can't yet accept that she hates herself that much.

Nope, not dating. I think I will wait it out until after this is resolved. It's not good for me in the short term, as I do get very lonely. But it will be best for me in the long term.

Since you have stepped away from your WH's life, any signs of anything happening there?


SS,

I am so glad to hear that things are going ok with your R. Very important to keep your eyes open, and not get lost in the recovery. Trust, but verify.... That was a good policy of Reagans.
You keep your heart protected as long as you feel necessary. Your H better understand why and more importantly, willing to work at your pace. He's the one who screwed up anyway right?

TTSi,

{{{{{{{{{{Bravo}}}}}}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{{{Well done}}}}}}}}}}}

You are a very intelligent individual IMHO and very kind...I really appreciate your line of thinking....

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Nope, not dating. I think I will wait it out until after this is resolved. But it will be best for me in the long term.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That is extremely honorable and smart....you recognize that dating would complicate matters recovery either in the M or a new start more difficult. I hate to see you feel so alone...would you consider joining a group....it is probably difficult to jet ski now...but what about a sport or language that you always wanted to learn? You could learn something new while sharing interests with others. Or there is always working out which you use to do...lots of company in groups at the gym. What do you think, TTSi...hmmmmmmmm?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I guess I can't yet accept that she hates herself that much.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This statement is very insightful...you recognize things for as they are...self-hatred must be a strong component of the WS....good that you do not think it is you.....WS must hate themselves so much that some days it hinders them from coming back....it is all a shame...hope WS defogs and realizes what she has in you before it is all too late.

Also thanks for your thoughts on my recovery process so far. As always your words are wise and very helpful.....I really want to get my footing underneath me....was on the rollercoaster for too long and sometimes feel like a drunken sailor.....baby steps is wise advise.

Anyway...glad to know you are doing okay.....think about a class or club...might be fun....keep posting and God bless..... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ss

Crickets...churp...churp...churp....

Funny you mention it, I just started back up in the gym two days ago. Going to the place that my brother and his wife go to. It's been what, about a year and a half since I'd touched a barbell. Needless to say, I'm sore....
and, P.O.ed!!!!

I can't lift maybe 1/2 of what I used too. It's gonna take some time to get back where I was, but luckily, a person's body remembers where it once was. It can get there faster than someone who just started out for the first time ever.

Arnold went from a very flabby man, (post heart surgery) to the shape he was in for Terminator 3 in 6 months time.

.....I should be able to at least match that RIGHT? RIGHT!?

Hey, TTSi. I am skating by. I am still packing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> MOvers are here in 12 hours. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I have been whining for weeks about how things grow when you aren't looking. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I will never get through this! BUt, I am glad to move. THere are far too many memories in this place. And the good ones have been tainted forever.

DD13 and I are staying with DD25 for a month. OMG 3 females in a one bedroom apartment.

I have made a firm resoltuion to start going back to the gym. BUt, I know the pain I will be in. So, I feel for you, man.

I am glad you didn't take offense to my questions. My DD13 and my DD25 and my DS27 are all trying to get me to date. I am NOT even close to being able to do that. OMG if someone was actually nice to me face to face I would have a meltdown.

I am going to go "out there" and post an update. I am so out of this BS. I look at myself and there is no hope left. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> Talk to you soon.

What do you mean,
"I look at myself and there is no hope left"

There may or may not be hope for you marriage, but this thing isn't about you. Not about something you did or didn't do. Its really all about the spouse and their selfish behavior.

I know what you mean about moving. Seems like it always takes 4 times the amount of time to pack than you think. Just speaking from my experience, moving will be really hard on you at first. But it will help, and it does get better.

Your kids trying to get you to date is par for the course I think. Just about everyone I know has tried to get me out there or set me up. I think it has more to do with them not wanting to see us hurt anymore.

Let us know how to move went... 3 females, one bedroom? I'm sure glad I'm nowhere near that.. I'd rather be on a high wire, using a spent nuclear fuel rod as a balancing stick than that.... no offense! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />