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#1249229 12/31/04 03:17 PM
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i have a question for you all.i don't know if you know my sitch., but my sig. line says it in a nut shell.

i have been encouraged to try to get my FWW to read on this board and post when she feels ready. she is so busy with work right now, i am pretty sure she is not even lurking.

my question is this, if she would recognize my screen name, should i change it?

thanks for any input,.

arjdad

#1249230 12/31/04 03:22 PM
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Hello Arj,

Simple question, simple answer is that depends on if you care if your FWW reads what you have posted.

I'm not being sarcastic by the way. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

#1249231 12/31/04 03:31 PM
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arjdad,

I just posted to you on your other thread.

Are you leary of your W reading your posts? If so, I guess you should change your name.

BTW, are you a Dido fan? I love that song!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

CC

#1249232 12/31/04 03:50 PM
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native,-
good to hear from you. i didn't take it as sarcastic, i just wonder what she would think if she read all i say. you know, a WS doesn't understand "fog and w/drawal".

buttercup,-
i don't know if i should be leary or not. you have followed my siych and helped me alot, would it have bothered you if your H would have posted here? about all the personal stuff? just wondering what to do, because i really think reading here could help her/us/theM.
thanks

arjdad

p.s. i am somewhat of a dido fan, but i LOVE that song. it kind of says it all for me. i took it on as my theme a long time ago. in fact, i played it for my wife several months before d-day to tell her that is how i feel.

#1249233 12/31/04 03:52 PM
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Hi Arjdad,

I've wondered the same thing, thinking that my husband may be lurking here. I've gone back and read over all my posts.(I've only been here 3 weeks though.) There is nothing that I would not want him to see. If he read them, he would probably know it's me. If you read yours and feel there's something you don't want her to see, then I would suggest to change your screen name.

#1249234 12/31/04 04:05 PM
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suzy,-
i thought i should go back and re-read everything also. boy, do i talk alot. i don't think that i have said anything that i wouldn't want her to read. they are just my feelings and we should be able to share them with each other. that has always been one of our biggest problems,communicating.add to that we are both con-flict avoiders, and you can see why i am here <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

thanks for your input, and good luck in your sitch.

arjdad

#1249235 12/31/04 06:17 PM
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arjdad: It took me several months to get my FWW to post here. She lurked for awhile. I was probably here at least a month before her. I knew what her screen name was then she changed it. She posted to me and within a couple of posts I knew it was her (I could hear the attitude in her voice). It was a big help to us for awhile for both to be here. She still lurks and occasionally posts. I think this place is more of a crutch for me than her. Our relationship is in recovery pretty much because of our efforts and the MB principals. (Her 2nd screen name was onlywords, she's now changed it to NotOnlyWords.) Good luck!

Also, sometimes I'll turn off my signature if I don't think it's relative to what I'm posting.

#1249236 12/31/04 08:28 PM
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arjdad,

(ooh, what a night so far! I'll fill you in another time! Hope you're already out, enjoying your night!)

I wouldn't want my H to read my posts from a while ago. They'd be too painful for him.

You did reveal a lot of info, so i don't know if your W would be hurt to read it if she came here. You know her better than we do though!!

CC

#1249237 01/01/05 04:57 PM
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ARJDAD---Hi, Arj!! I see you are doing a bit better with your wife. I am glad for you and her too.
Arj- When I fist got here and I read everything my husband had posted ,it opened my eyes much more to understand and see the pain he was going thru. Even though hewas telling me, reading about it, made me realize the magnitude of what I had done to him. I think it would be a good idea if she read everything you had posted. It would be an eye-opener for her!!

Myrta

<small>[ January 01, 2005, 03:58 PM: Message edited by: Myrta ]</small>

#1249238 01/01/05 05:34 PM
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myrta,-
hi, it is good to hear from you. i hope you all had a good time last night!

i think i agree with you about letting her read all my post. i don't think i have said anything too bad.just talking about my feelings. like you said, it might be a eye opener for her.i don't know if she will ever go back and read them tho, so it might not matter.we had a good time last night, and i do think we may be making progress.

thanks for the input,

arjdad


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