Well, I just got off the phone with my WH. I haven't talked to him in over 2 1/2 months. He says he's changed and is a different person and wants to "help" me. Yeah right! He says he loves me unconditionally and that if I loved him the same that I would have helped him in the marriage. I still don't know what helping him means. He says I was a wonderful wife. ????

He also says he prays for me and our son every night and that he prays that I meet someone and that I will find peace. Hmmmmmm....he's praying that I find someone else....I guess that would ease his guilt huh?

I just don't understand this man. Any input on the stuff he's saying???

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Rubbish (taken from Bob Pure)....All of it is pure and un-adulterated bull$hit. Pay it no mind. His words should literally nothing to you, only actions. This is an easy call. NO need to analyze further.

lemonman....
Yep...I think so too. He's full of CRAP!!!!!!!! If he loved me unconditionally wouldn't he have stayed and worked on our marriage? He needs to be praying for himself and his own sins!

Treereich, quit talking to that...creature! He makes you feel bad allll the time. every single time there is communication between you and him or his family it hurts you to the core. You've got to get these negative people out of your life. Surround yourself with positive and optimistic people and you shall have a positive and optimistic life--it's a given. What is your STBX doing for you? He's draggin' you down. Don't let him. You don't need him and while you may mourn for the dream of what your marriage could've been...focus on you and your son right now. Focus on making yourself happy so that you can be open for the love that you deserve.

He's saying that self-servingly. He's doing it for himself. He's trying to come off like he's benevolent and that all of this was "no one's fault". He's trying to make HIMSELF feel better by saying these things to you. If you must speak with him, he's the perfect candidate for Reverse Babble. But best not to speak with him, dear.

maddyk....you are so right! I only talked to him tonight because it was concerning my dog. Things just got out of hand. He started crying at the end of the phone call. Am I supposed to feel sorry for this man who left me for another woman...NOT! He chose this not me.

TR, next time he says he wants to "help you", tell him this,

"WH, the best way you can help me is to own your actions. You are positive that this is what you want in your life and I accept that and hope you get what you deserve (note that you do not say you wish him well). If you have the greatest of confidences that you are walking the right path, then act like it and put on your happy face when you talk to me and our son."

Okay, that's a little too wordy (as per my usual MO)...grin. But you want to convey that if he is so damned happy about his choices then he'd better start acting like it.

Pay no mind to him, Trish. Until he stops his affair and you decide whether or not to rebuild your marriage you should not succour him with direct contact.

I will agree with Maddyk & LM that you should cease all further direct contact with him until such times as he stops his affair. He is wreathed in fog like a passenger in cheech and chong's camper van !

Even then you don't have to take him back, but all you have no need to make him feel better while his affair is active.

let him stew. Get yourself strong.
{{{tree}}}

Thanks Bob and Maddyk!
I really wish I wouldn't have talked to my WH last night. I'm so sick of hearing how he wants to "help me". What is that all about? Uggghhhh!
I don't plan on talking to him again anytime soon. I have to go file my response to his paperwork today. It didn't get filed along with my other paperwork...uggghhh!
I'm so tired of dealing with all of this. I think once it's all done I'm going to take my son and go on a mini vacation. I need one!!!!!!!

Lemonman is ON TARGET!! Do not listen to this BS.

I don't know why I'm having such an emotional day today. I think it's becauseI talked to WH last night and it just set me back a step. I DO NOT want him back but it just hurt all over again talking to him. He seems so calm. That really bugs me. It makes me feel as if I meant nothing in his life!
He says he's a different person now and that he wouldn't do what he did to me to anyone. Gee...thanks!!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by TreeReich:
<strong> Thanks Bob and Maddyk!
I really wish I wouldn't have talked to my WH last night. I'm so sick of hearing how he wants to "help me". What is that all about? Uggghhhh!
I don't plan on talking to him again anytime soon. I have to go file my response to his paperwork today. It didn't get filed along with my other paperwork...uggghhh!
I'm so tired of dealing with all of this. I think once it's all done I'm going to take my son and go on a mini vacation. I need one!!!!!!! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> well you can always head out here.....