Just notice today that my WW is wearing a cross around her neck.

She does belong to a church but she never wore it when we were married and I figured she wouldn't even show her face anywhere near a church given what she's done.

Any idea what the heck can be going on in her head right now? Do you think she's decided to turn her life around? Or do you think she is just using the church to help ease some pain and guilt?

Miker

Or it could be a reminder of her OM. My STBXW/WW wears a ring and a 4 leaf clover charm on a necklace because they remind her of her OM. (I saw an email that told me so and she doesn't know I know this).

Just something else to think about. Or like you said maybe she is feeling guilty and coming out of the fog?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Or do you think she is just using the church to help ease some pain and guilt?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Don't we all? We are all sinners, yet we continue to keep the faith and despite our daily sins we continue to pray for forgiveness.

I would be more concerned if your WW completely turned her back on her church and faith.

BA,

Yes I guess that makes sense, and I hope it is the case for her sake.

Its just strange in that this is the first sign I've seen that she even thinks what she's done is a sin.

I don't think OM is living with her anymore, not sure if he's completely out of her life or not. Maybe the fog IS finally lifting?

Eeeek... Oh boy if this is the fog lifting, I may be in for one of those days that I've been dreading...

Miker

Hello Miker,

I agree with you that it seems strange that she's wearing a cross. If it were me I'd question her on the reason, just to see what she'd say.

Actually my WW has even gone and taken our kids TO church. I thought that was crazy.... I've talked with MIL about this a few times. How can one that is doing these things, disobeying GOD's commandment about Adultery "stand" to be in church? Your right it just doesn't make sense.

However I would also agree BA that it can't hurt if she's there. Actually I hope my WW goes back to the church, but all the people from the church that have tried to contact my WW have only been shunned by her.

Miker, so are you and WW D'd? Or still seperated?

Native

Hi Native,

We're separated and 90% the way through legal separation negotiation (which is basically child custody issues, property division, spousal/child support etc).

I may have to wait another 6 months for the actual legal divorce but I'm not really that worried. I do want the legal separation so my kids and I are protected from her bad decisions and so I know where I stand financially but I'm not in any great rush to have the divorce finalized.

Cheers,

Miker

If she's still in her A with the OM in spite of your efforts to get her to reconcile, sounds like she's using the cross as a "Get out of Hell Free" card.

I am a WW and I do not think it is odd that she is wearing a cross. I am wearing a cross. One I have worn before though.

It also has my H's birthstone ring, my DD's birthstone ring and mine on it.

I am not an godly person not am I a true christian because I am an adulter. But I am trying to repent to the two people that will only ever be able to truly forgive. That is myself and my God. But the bible states that god cannot forgive you unless you forgive yourself. Maybe that is what she is looking for?

I went to church this weekend for the first time in a long time and it was hard for me to hold back the tears. The power that the church has is amazing. Maybe this is what she needs to help her get through what shes done and what shes done to you?

I don't know your situation but if its anything like mine, God is what she needs right now more then anything if she has no one else. He doesn't judge, he doesn't ridicule, he supports without question, and guides you to make the right decisions, Granted I made some pretty stupid decisions but I believe if I had kept my faith in God closer to my heart I would not be in the situation I am in today.

Keeping my faith from here now on is what will keep me from making those same stupid decisions in the future.

Support her on this, maybe go to church yourself and see if it has the same impact on you? It may or may not. But wearing a cross on her neck is much better then being out there doing wrong doing or wearing reminders of the other person don't you think?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Saving Grace:
Support her on this, maybe go to church yourself and see if it has the same impact on you? It may or may not. But wearing a cross on her neck is much better then being out there doing wrong doing or wearing reminders of the other person don't you think? [/QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Saving Grace,

Even though I don't formally practice a given faith, I have been to church and it was really emotional and powerful to me. I did find it good in the "grieving" process.

Don't get me wrong. If she has decided to jump aboard and practice her faith like she should I am estatic for her. It can only serve to make my children a much better life than if she keeps with the same path of self-destruction she is currently on. I just hope it isn't an attempt at removing some guilt so she can continue on her path of betrayal and hurt.

I really hope its the former rather than the later but thus far I've seen no ACTION to indicate the later. But I'll be optomistic and hope this is the first step to the later.

Thanks for the words!

Miker

Hello Miker,

Well if she is back in the church, it's only a matter of time before she's "hit" with something from God. God has much patience, grace and love, more than our feeble human minds can fathom. However there also comes a time when God says "I have give you all the chances I can, it is now time for judgement". Of course I'm paraphrasing here some of the scriptures.

My point is if she is in the church she can only come to a realization of what she's doing is wrong. Whether thats by her own means, or one of the pastors, or by God's only the Lord knows. Hopefully its options 1 or 2. Cuz I wouldn't want to be judged by God.

I'm also hoping that my WW finds her way back to our church. I also don't know if it will save our M, but like you it will at least provide a stable mother for my kids.

Best of luck,
Native

Not a great church goer myself Miker however I can remember what Sister Eustice beat into me ................ forgiveness means you have to stop what you are doing thats wrong, and atonement.

The 'man' ain't no fool.... I still believe he'll forgive ANYTHING but its not a pass card..... you might relapse but thats different...

Just a thought

Miker,

Wish I could explain the cross, but my gut feeling is that it may me just a teensy little sign of where her mind and soul are edging.

BTW my WW is head of the Religious committee for our local Rotarian group.LOL, I almost fell off my chair when I saw that on their web site.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by reservoirdog1:
<strong> If she's still in her A with the OM in spite of your efforts to get her to reconcile, sounds like she's using the cross as a "Get out of Hell Free" card. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">More likely the real reason.

Can you say "hypocrit"?

My WS "became" Catholic because OM was Catholic and "Catholic kids seem to turn out pretty good."

Well.

She enrolled my son in confirmation classes and proceeded to get him confirmed with OM as his sponsor - all the while both marriages were being wrecked and heading towards divorce and the infidels were planning their marriage. It wasn't until several months after his confirmation that I learned it had already taken place. When I asked why I wasn't informed of the final confirmation so I could attend, the answer was that everyone knew I would object to OM being my son's sponsor. Ya think?

My point: "religion" serves different people in very different ways, not the least of which for some is shelter for their own denial.

<small>[ January 04, 2005, 07:13 AM: Message edited by: worthatry ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> am not an godly person not am I a true christian because I am an adulter. But I am trying to repent to the two people that will only ever be able to truly forgive. That is myself and my God. But the bible states that god cannot forgive you unless you forgive yourself. Maybe that is what she is looking for? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Saving Grace - oh my! SG, the Bible says nothing like what you said. I hope I don't offend you, but there are two points that ARE crystal clear in the Bible that bear on what you said.

One: The ONLY way to be forgiven of your sins is to first accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior. You acknowledge that you are a sinner, repent, and ask God to forgive you. Once you do that, your sins ARE forgiven immediately by God BECAUSE Christ took them upon Himself for you and God forgives you because of what Christ did, not because you "merit" His forgiveness.

Nowhere in the Bible does it say that God will not forgive you if you don't forgive yourself. I think you may be confusing a part of the Lord's Prayer; "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive others." This is both a warning and a promise. "From whom much has been forgiven, much is expected." We are to "forgive AS we have been forgiven" by God when someone who has sinned against us repents and seeks our forgiveness.

God the Father does NOT rely on us for anything before He acts. He acts because of Jesus, not because of us.

Two: If you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior you ARE a Christian. Christ is not in the business of saving the "sinless." He is saving sinners and took all of your sins, past, present, and future, upon Himself when He went to the Cross. Going to church, going through the motions, etc., are NOT what makes someone a Christian. The only way to become a Christian is through accepting Jesus Christ as your Savior (from your sins) and as your LORD (He is "Lord of your life" and has "bought you" with His blood).

God bless.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> am not an godly person not am I a true christian because I am an adulter. But I am trying to repent to the two people that will only ever be able to truly forgive. That is myself and my God. But the bible states that god cannot forgive you unless you forgive yourself. Maybe that is what she is looking for? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Saving Grace - oh my! SG, the Bible says nothing like what you said. I hope I don't offend you, but there are two points that ARE crystal clear in the Bible that bear on what you said.

One: The ONLY way to be forgiven of your sins is to first accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior. You acknowledge that you are a sinner, repent, and ask God to forgive you. Once you do that, your sins ARE forgiven immediately by God BECAUSE Christ took them upon Himself for you and God forgives you because of what Christ did, not because you "merit" His forgiveness.

Nowhere in the Bible does it say that God will not forgive you if you don't forgive yourself. I think you may be confusing a part of the Lord's Prayer; "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive others." This is both a warning and a promise. "From whom much has been forgiven, much is expected." We are to "forgive AS we have been forgiven" by God when someone who has sinned against us repents and seeks our forgiveness.

God the Father does NOT rely on us for anything before He acts. He acts because of Jesus, not because of us.

Two: If you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior you ARE a Christian. Christ is not in the business of saving the "sinless." He is saving sinners and took all of your sins, past, present, and future, upon Himself when He went to the Cross. Going to church, going through the motions, etc., are NOT what makes someone a Christian. The only way to become a Christian is through accepting Jesus Christ as your Savior (from your sins) and as your LORD (He is "Lord of your life" and has "bought you" with His blood).

God bless.

I did not see this mentioned yet...

sadly

many times

the adulterors say the following to each other ---> "God has brought us together"

It is NOT uncommon for the adulterors to pray together and to thank God for the love they share... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

yep ... I am NOT making this up.

Pep

QED

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by worthatry:
<strong> QED </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">What?

Pep

QED is an abbreviation of the Latin phrase "quod erat demonstrandum" (literally, "that which was to be demonstrated"). When I was learning geometry in High School, QED was written at the end of a mathematical proof to show that the result required for the proof to be complete was obtained.

Here, I was finishing your "proof" of the statement I made in my previous post.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />
WAT

<small>[ January 04, 2005, 10:59 AM: Message edited by: worthatry ]</small>

Foreverhers~

My misunderstanding, but I went to paraochial school for almost 8 years and we went to church everyday. That is what the nuns taught us. If we can't forgive ourselves then how can anyone else forgive us. I only used bible because I assumed that is where they got it from. I guess we are taught to believe what nuns, pastors and brothers teach you right. How can I say that when so many children are molested by them. I wasn't thinkin of "God's Prayer".

I say I am not a Christian because of my wrong and evil doings. How can I have been Christian and have done that? I am repenting now, I am trying to become a good christian again.

As seen in Pepperbands post, yes I am an/was adulter but never did I think "God brougt us togther" nor did pray to God for the love that we shared.

I do apologize for my being niave about it.

SG