me and fww spent alot of time together this week end. i think the fog may be clearing, but it is still there.
we had a big r talk and some things about getting back together were addressed. she said she has alot of anger and pain from 12 yrs of lb's (angry outbursts) on my part which i cannot disagree with. she said she needs time to work these out in order to give us a fair chance, she said that she loves me so much, but doesnt want me to hurt her again, i think she may also have some guilt issues that she needs to deal with.

i told her i understood the time issue and i would give it BUT i also told her of my boundry on the time. i told her that i was dragging my feet as much as possible on the d BUT when it becomes final im moving on, i explained my reasoning on this being that if THIS marrage isnt important enough to work out then why would the next one. she got up and walked out of the room, i waited for 4-5 minutes and went into the kitchen. she was standing looking out the window crying i hugged her and said im sorry but that is a descision i made and im sticking with.
she said so what youre telling me is you can never love me again, i said no its not about love, i love you now and will always love you, its about commitment to myself and this marriage.
i told her this d will take months, we have plenty of time.
meanwhile i will continue working on myself and my life and put it in gods hands.
it is amazing to me how good im doing at containing my anger, and not 1 lb since end of november.

I want to read this and respond, and I will Dalson- right now I see my elderly neighbor outside trying to shovel his driveway of hard ice-snow- I need to go help him. Be back soon!

Dalson,
sounds like you and your WW had a productive talk. I am proud of you for being as strong as you were and telling her how you feel. Hang in there, it will continue to get easier as you get stronger. Are you leaning towards divorce now or are you unsure?

i dont want a d but i have braced myself for it if that is what it comes to, so be it. that is nice of you to help your neighbor..
we have (me & fww) been spending alot of time together, im hoping she is defogging, but if not oh well, her loss.

yeah I went outside to help shovel- but it has hardened to the point of no return, and they decided not to shovel it up. It was hard yesterday- twice as hard today- and for a neighbor who is in Arizona, doubt they will mind that their driveway is not done.

I am happy you are able to spend time together. Good for you! Do it as long as it feels right, once it stops feeling right, then you know it is time to admit defeat. Best of luck to you. You seem to be a great man.

thanks but sometimes i dont feel great, and either way she goes its not defeat. she has until d is final and thats it..

all days are not good. Some are just ok. WE have feelings so we know we are alive. Hang in there friend. I am here if you ever need to talk.

I pray your wife will become the woman you fell in love with again one day soon.

Until then hang in there.