Sorry, all. I am a BS and I have to go with LowOrbit and Lemonman.

It's no revelation that adultery can lead to murder -- you can go back to Homer and the Bible for the stories. Focusing on sordid calamities that are overexposed in the media will not help anyone or anything.

These folks are strangers to us.

<small>[ January 05, 2005, 08:10 PM: Message edited by: A.M.Martin ]</small>

Scott P is the WS. He took the final step and killed his family as a result of the A.

According to info, Scott had had several previous affairs so its hard to say if the affair with Amber was really the catalyst for the killings or whether he he had already decided on the killings and she just came along at the wrong moment. Either way, I think she deserves credit for helping the police the way she did knowing that her life would be picked apart sooner or later.

A.M.Martin-This wasn't to be a post about adultery leading to murder.

I was venting on the issue that Amber Frey with the release of her new book will be another one of the peope who profit from someone else's sorrows.

And, yes, as a BS, it did hit home in reference to the OW. But, not about "hating" someone or anyone involved in an A. I am just plain tired of some people who do wrong are made to look like a hero or a heroine when they are not worthy of it.

It just brings up repeated hurt at times and I came to this MB forum to let it go.

Thank you all for your opinions, really.

M 010382
FWH 44
BS Me 47
DDay 111504
S 21
D 15

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Stormyweather:
<strong> Scott P is the WS. He took the final step and killed his family as a result of the A.

According to info, Scott had had several previous affairs so its hard to say if the affair with Amber was really the catalyst for the killings or whether he he had already decided on the killings and she just came along at the wrong moment. Either way, I think she deserves credit for helping the police the way she did knowing that her life would be picked apart sooner or later. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Whether Scott had 1 or 10 A's, it was this one that iced his W and child. Amber willingly played the OW part.

The fact that she didn't check him out enough is her problem. Evidently she still is waaay to trusting. Should she be rewarded even in a monetary way for her bad choices? I think not.

Amber may have been scared of the course the A took but the path up to that point is one she chooses to travel. Just because the road ended a terminal ending doesn't make the earlier part of that path any less serious or wrong. Each step both of them took was wrong.

You think I am harsh? I am. Once upon a time.....long long ago, I unknowingly was an OW of sorts. A man @ work had a wife with 2 illegitimate sons. The 1st was before he was married to her and he raised him as his own son. The 2nd happened while he was on a tour of duty with the Navy. He had paternity tests done.

The point is by the time I met him, he was separated but at some point they tried to reconcile. I did not know of this and at that time our contact was casual and kept in a work environment. The point is it was an EA a very light one by today's standards but an EA nonetheless.

Another girl tried to jump in, literally....into his apt and bed..... she even went to have surgery done to untie her tubes and give him a child. He begged me go away with him and get married.

It was more than a triangle and I wanted no part of it. It ended with me telling him if he ever saw me again, to cross the street and walk on the opposite side. Well we did see each other about 15 years later. I was married and my son was less than a year.

He kept searching for me in the store but kept his promise not to talk to me. I also did not make myself highly visible. We never saw each other again.

My point is that these are stories and accounts of which we are not making profit. They c/b lessons learned to help ourselves and others.

Amber should have learned a serious lesson. To make a profit out of it is unscrupulous (sp???).

I do respect her for going to the police and cooperating with them but what else does she need to tell the public other than what she already told the police? I would not want to contribute to her financial gain by reading that book. The drama of it all is still playing out in the tabloids.....sickening. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

JMHO,
L.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> He took the final step and killed his family as a result of the A. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You are wrong, both morally and legally.

Peterson is solely responsible for his actions. Unless there is evidence that Frey conspired to murder, then she is not accountable for those murders. We see evidence to the contrary...she did, in fact, assist in bringing him to justice.

Again, your argument is no different than me blaming my wife for my affair because she was doing a poor job as a wife. My wife did not "conspire" to drive me to infidelity and therefore cannot be held accountable for my affair. That was solely my decision.

If a woman is raped because she wears revealing clothes, is it her fault?

If a man assaults his boss after being fired, is it the boss's fault?

As much as you might want to see Frey fry, you can't make a good argument that she should.

I'm not arguing that you have to like her or what she's doing...only that she is definitely NOT accountable for the murders.

Low

Watched the interview last night with Amber F.

It was chilling to hear Scott's voice and all the manipulations. I was riveted by the story and it reminded me of my story and so many other's I read on here. To hear Scott's voice and hte lies, and to think my FWH may have made the same claims and lies to OW...

LM, yes, thinking about Amber F. brings back memories of my H's OW, and I transfer some feelings towards her from my own situation....

and the problem with that is?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Orchid:
<strong> Scott P is the WS. He took the final step and killed his family as a result of the A.

Amber F. is the OW. She helped push the A along. She may not have meant it to end in the death of his family but she was the one person who helped the A the most besides Scott. In this sense she is an accomplice to the A. Amber has R's with MM. It is not a lesson she has learned yet. Gotta wonder what it will take. Maybe the elastic in her garmets keep getting loose. Take a look at what she wore for 1 of her interviews. While it wasn't stripper material, she certainly likes to flaunt it to the limits. You'd think she would be more conservative since many already see her in the OW light.....


L. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Low Orbit,

Please read my post again. I have partially quoted it here.

NOTE: It is SCOTT that took the steps that lead to the murders. Then I posted that Amber 'helped push the A along'. I did not say she is responsible for the murder, but I did say she was responsbile for pushing the A along.

Let me know if I need to clarify this further.

Why is this such a sensitve topic? Because it hits very close to home to most of us. Knowing that anyone one of the BS/family/WS and OP and all their associates c/b affected as these 3 families were.

My POV regarding Amber is that, yes she cooperated with the police from what we have seen. Her choices after this incident are still showing up as questionable. Makes one wonder.....would she knowingly have an A again? Did she?

My other concern is, if Amber profits in any way by this incident, what will stop any other OPs who feel they are victims? Remember in the fog, the OP as well as the WS try to paint themselves as the victim. Scott and Amber were no different.

If Amber were a smart woman, she would have helped the police and gone back to be as quite as possible.

That book has been in the works for a while. The trial just ended. There is a lot to publishing a book. Gotta wonder what her real motives are. Also she maybe getting bad advice.....then is she also gullible?

While I don't think Amber is the worst case scenario of an OW, I do view her as one who still doesn't quite get it. HOw many more of them are there out there and how much more dangerous does it make this world when the worlds of the gullible/weak OPs clash with the manipulative WS?

Then there is the reverse where the OP is manipulative and the WS is weak.... I could go on.

As for the word accomplice, that was in my posts. I also explained the degree I felt she was a part of that. See Amber is not exonerated from being an OW because she helped the police. How she lives her life from that point forward will determine whether she continues to be an OW or not. IMHO, it is too early to tell.

It makes me sad to hear about cases like that..... I hope one day, Mz Frey makes better choices and stops having affairs. EA/PA.....maybe she needs a good IC. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

The point of this thread was should she be held accountable? My answer is still: For her part in the A, yes. Should she profit from it? NO.

Maybe we should watch and see what the TOW board is saying about this. C/b interesting. Do they see Amber as a successful OW? Hm...... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

L.

Amber F. is the OW. She helped push the A along. She may not have meant it to end in the death of his family but she was the one person who helped the A the most besides Scott.
Amber Frey did not push along the affair. She pushed along the relationship becasue she was dating an unmarried man (as far as she knew).
A technicality? Sure but a very valid one.
How can you blame someone for something they didn't know was happening?

If you pour a cup of water down the sink and someone later drowns in the ocean and that water is in his lungs, can we now call you murderer?

Just a thought...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> The point of this thread was should she be held accountable? My answer is still: For her part in the A, yes. Should she profit from it? NO. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">So how do propose we hold her accountable? Is she guilty of criminal activity? If so, I agree that prosecution is in order. She's not. So, since she has not violated any laws where she is, who then shall be the executor of her accountability? And if she is convicted, I and every other OP/WS in the same boat better call our lawyers. The jails will be SRO.

Why do you propose we deny her profit from her experience? You might not like it, but enough people will be interested in her story to make it worth her while. There are plenty of people in America who are ready and willing to consume titillation and sensationalism. How else can we explain Jerry Springer? Or any number of Lifetime movies? This is how capitalism works.

I am of the opinion that a convicted criminal should not be allowed to profit from any facet of his crime while he is serving his sentence. But Frey is not a criminal. Is her morality offensive? Apparently so. But then, so is the morality of the vast majority of people in the world.

In a free society, varied value systems will exist. We won't like them all. It doesn't mean we should punish them either.

I know gay people. I don't advocate the gay lifestyle. I find it repugnant. However, I believe with every fiber of my being that they should have the RIGHT to engage in those relationships should they so desire. I've come under fire in my own church for defending these freedoms.

So Frey doesn't meet our definition of a fine upstanding lady...so what. Unless it's a criminal issue, it's none of our business.

The other nice thing about America is that you can work to change what you don't like.

Think adulterers should be tried and convicted? Write your elected officials. Work for change.

Low

So Frey doesn't meet our definition of a fine upstanding lady...so what. Unless it's a criminal issue, it's none of our business.
So we should only be concerned with issues if something illegal happens?

<small>[ January 05, 2005, 03:36 PM: Message edited by: Chris -CA123 ]</small>

I see Amber Frey as another one of Scott's victims...the lucky ALIVE one. She's guilty of plenty....ignorance, stupidity, gullibility, poor choices....but she is not guilty of pushing along an affair that she didn't know about. Should she profit from it? My guess is that after the legal bills, the complete upheaval in her life, the guilt, remorse...she probably won't. Profit isn't measured in dollars anyway....just look at her face....she looks old, beat up, worn out.

The affair Frey was apart of did not kill Lacy and her baby, Peterson did, because Peterson is insane - period!

To say that Frey somehow caused it because her judgement is poor and she fell in love with a MM (unknowingly or not) you might as well say Lacy was at fault too because her judgement was off as well - enough to marry a man who was insane and who would later murder her and his own unborn child.

WAT touched on this by asking should he be blamed because he married an adultrous woman who would later try to destroy his life. Only he didn't take it quite as far as I did.

disclaimer - this is not my belief but this is where I think this whole topic is just form of judging and would be better left alone, because where does it stop really.

Guess I was wrong.... OPs who enter an A without full knowledge of the WS' situation can justify their profit from the A.

Did Ms. Frey make the book because she had an A or because the A contributed to ending the life of a young mother and baby? If there was no murder, would it make her any different than the other TOW posters? Some claim not to have known their BF was a MM.

Mr. Peterson is guilty for the sins he committed against his family.

Did Lacy enable the A? Maybe unknowingly she may have, like many a BS here recognize. But Lacy did not give the WS reason to end Lacy's life regardless of his wacko thought process which took him to that level.

Maybe when it isn't as close to home, it's ok to play down one's contribution to the demise or in this case, murder of a family.

If that is so, then maybe I'd better bow out, since I may not have the right to feel the way I do about PBR or other OWs.

Do these OPs have their share of problems? Certainly but when infringe on another's family and seek to gain profit from such, you have to wonder how much of a victim or now profit seeker, they really are.

Seems like the OPs win with this sitch....gives them some sort of sordid power to do it again and again.... already have that copy cat guy in Utah who killed his W, right? Wonder how many more are in the making?

There is certainly no further need for me to post my thoughts on this subject. This is a free country.....people can choose to do whatever they want, including lying, cheating, stealing and in some cases, murder. The law doesn't always protect the innocent. Sometimes it allows those not so innocent to prosper. It is their right but is it really right? Hm........ is that the kind of freedom we really want? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Blood $$ <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by holiday:
<strong> I was wondering if anyone else felt like I do.
I just can believe all the good publicity Amber Frey has received over being an adultress. Nor can I believe how much money she will make telling her sick story. Just needed to vent. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't think that she is getting "good" publicity.

I don't find "her" story to be sick.

I find her to have been a victim of a highly manipulative man. She did not know that he was married.

If she makes money telling HER story, more power to her. Afterall, it is HER story...and one that she has a right to tell...for money or not.

Do you think that Peterson's family should be holding her accountable? Afterall, she did come forward and tell...and then allowed police to tape conversations...then she testified for the prosecution.

I guess they could legitimately blame her for his conviction...and the death penalty huh? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

The blame belongs to Scott...and ALL Scott. Just like in any marriage that is destroyed by infidelity...the married person is the one that has an obligation and a duty to protect their marriage...the OP doesn't.

That doesn't mean that I think it is morally right...it's obvious that it isn't.

Editing to add...I think that anger is often displaced. Too much anger is directed at the OP when it should be directed at the person who was obligated to protect the marriage...the WS.

JMHO
committed

<small>[ January 05, 2005, 05:14 PM: Message edited by: committedandlovingit ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by holiday:
<strong>
She may have not been an accomplice to murder, but she wanted to wash her hands clean "before being implimented" in a crime. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You say that like there is something wrong with doing that. Gawd, I wouldn't have been able to get to the police station fast enough to tell them what I know.

I would have been scared to death of being implemented in this terrible crime. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

committed