Awwwh..... the things in life we take our ques from. LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Saw a Charmin toilet paper commerical recently and thought....bingo!!! That's it! When dealing with crap, do it the Charmin way!!!

What way is that? Well according to the commerical.

'w/Charmin, less is more.'

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Yep, I've been saying that on this board for a while now. Maybe some BS ought to take heed and do the same. Give less, take more. Especially for those BS who are major givers. This is gonna be hard but you can do it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Come on'..... let the WS do some of the housework, the fixit chores, decision making, baby sitting, paying the bills, visiting relatives, errands for the kids and oh yes....pampering the spouse.

Can you do it? Come on.... 1, 2, 3..... TAKE! 4, 5, 6..... take!!!

Remember: Less is more!!

What's the more? You let the WS give more of themselves to the family. Less time for the WS t/b selfish. Their back may ache a bit but at least they are getting a work out and better they work out doing stuff for your family than for someone else. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

L.

<small>[ January 04, 2005, 03:40 AM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>

Orchid
In my experience my FWW was utterly unable to process family suport tasks. Utterly.

If I hadn't loved the kids/tidied the house, made dinner etc in the 2 months past d-day nobody would and thats the truth. It would have addedd all kinds of stress to our lives and most importantly the kids lives.

Great idea if it works, but Squid was unable or unwilling to contribute at the height of her affair and withdrawal.

Bob,

One of the common accusations the foggy WS throw at the BS is that the BS is too controlling or don't trust the WS.

It does no good to fight these accusations. Also many a BS are generally givers more than takers. The WS uses this to their A advantage and tries to break the BS by making the BS taker work major overtime.

My point is that in some cases, when the BS does less (even if it means not keeping a perfect house), the WS is forced to see other places in their lives take a hit.

In my case, the WS expected me to keep things up regardless of what he threw at me. And I did. For the most part, I kept the house, family and work afloat. Even handled major inlaw issues plus managing major major business problems for our company well beyond my job description at the same time. Without due compensation either way. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> That's another story..... LOL!!

So my concept is that the more the WS is kept busy even if it means doing menial stuff..... it's like keeping their mouths chewing so they can't be yelling at the BS. LOL!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Yes, my H could not have handled it if I threw it all at him. I didn't. I gave him stuff that if he couldn't do it, I could step in. I never told him that, I just gave it to him in stages. Of course when he did good, I praised him.... yea kinda like giving the puppy his treat. When I did that the OW's treats weren't as tasty. You see?

The point was to keep him focused on other stuff. I stopped talking R talk and just gave him stuff I knew he could handle. Kept it safe enough for me to keep tabs on him without him realizing it and it took some of the work burden off my plate.

It was and is a win/win situation for me. I liked it soo much, I still do it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

L.

Fully agree Orchid, but it just wasn;t possible in our situation. Squid was virtually absent until at least six weeks after d-day.

She knew she was delinquent in our care though. Has said so since and apologised.

I fully agree that BS instinct is to fill the holes WS selfish behaviour leaves in family life support and that if possible, making WS contribute is best.

* edited to say, doesn;t every woman want her 'Prince Charmin' ? * badoom CHING ! * <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> *

<small>[ January 04, 2005, 05:55 AM: Message edited by: Bob Pure ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Bob Pure:
<strong> ...I fully agree that BS instinct is to fill the holes WS selfish behaviour leaves in family life support and that if possible, making WS contribute is best.

* edited to say, doesn;t every woman want her 'Prince Charmin' ? * badoom CHING ! * <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> * </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">BP,

The charmin technique is reserved for those who need a but wipin'. LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

The funny well....maybe not soo funny thing is that while the BS is looking to fill in the holes....the WS is out there creating more and more holes at a faster speed than the BS can fill them. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

As for the women looking for a Prince Charming..... all the wive's whose H's show love and care for them and their family's have found their Prince Charming. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

What floors me are the WS wives who treat such H's worse than a piece of toilet paper. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Throw that in front of a WS (not spouse, just a WS). See what they say!??!?! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

L.