Today my WH was supposed to go and talk to my Pastor. He came over about 10 AM to take a shower (for those of you who don't know, his water's been shut off for 2 months). I was in the shower when he got here, when I got out I could hear him downstairs (I left the door unlocked and a note for him to come in) I yelled down and told him I was done in the shower, so he came upstairs...I wasn't dressed yet, just standing in my bedroom looking for my clothes. He pretended not to notice LOL. I got dressed and he followed me downstairs, he had to use the restroom (also a luxury you don't really have with no water). When he got out I asked him if he'd like me to make him a cheeseburger (I know today at work he's alone, so he can't go out and get food) he said "Yeah" So while he was in the shower I made him a cheeseburger and fries...just how he likes them, with lettuce and tomato, salt and pepper and miracle whip. He ate the cheeseburger and drank a coke. Then I actually lured him into fooling around for the 2nd day in a row (unheard of)...I don't know quite how to approach this next part of the story, but here goes...ummm there is a certain act that I would never do during our marriage, not because I had anything against it, but more because I wasn't every any good at it and it made my jaw hurt (I'm sure that's enough explanation) anyway, since starting Plan A I have been doing backflips in the bedroom department...to the point where my husband actually said "Who are you and what did you do with my wife?" LOL...anyway, The "luring" today was me telling him that I needed to 'practice' the afore mentioned 'act'...he said "No Caren" I said "Oh, c'mon...you know they say practice makes perfect....don't you want to help me be perfect?" He said "No, cuz then you'll just be using it on some other guy..." I said "That's just crazy talk, you know I only want you" (He says the other man thing for 2 reasons....he wants to let me know...that he still wants to be apart so I will eventually be with another man, and because he's jealous at the thought of me ever being with another guy...) So anyway....after that he was getting dressed and getting ready to leave, it was about 12:05, he didn't have to be to work until 1pm, I said "Are you going to call me before you go to work?" He said "Why?" I said "Aren't you going to go see Pastor Rock today?" He said "Nahhh" I said "didn't you tell him you'd be there today?" He said "Yeah, but I'm just gonna make it another day" I said "Oh, okay then" (I did NOT let him know this upset me...I just blew it off) So he left...haven't talked to him since. but I am making Bean Soup and corn bread for dinner tonight, and peanut butter cookies for dessert, and I'm going to take some up to him for dinner. I am not telling him I am doing so...because that would give him the opportunity to turn me down...and I have a feeling that the OW is working today (She works in a shop 2 doors down) and I'm sure she'll be in there the second I leave...to see what I was doing there...I plan on staying long enough to see him begin to eat the food...then I'll leave. He's not gonna stop eating just because she came in...LMAO That boy loves him some food.

Also today, I gave him back a shirt he had left over here...he's really picky about his clothes and this shirt had some anti-persperant build up, I told him that I would try to get it out, so I scrubbed the heck out of this thing...and it looks pretty daggone good...so I gave him his shirt back.

I am bending over backwards to do things for him. He likes to be "taken care of"...so that's what I'm doing...I'm taking care of him like a crazy person.

-Caren

Well, girl...any man is going to love your Plan A!! Of course, dont stop once the marriage is repaired.

Keep up the good work.

In His arms.

<small>[ January 05, 2005, 02:35 PM: Message edited by: Mortarman ]</small>

Thanks Mortar,

I won't stop once the marriage is repaired, I always did take very good care of him, I may not have been as diligent because I was working and going to school full time, but I won't let anything interfere with our relationship ever again!

-Caren

Girl....you're better than me...I don't think I soulc have ever slept with my WH again after what he did. Good to see you can put all that aside to save your marriage. Good luck...I'll be prayin for ya.
Gosh...sex??? what's that??? I'm forgetting!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I actually don't mind the sex, I figure whatever I'm getting has to be less for her, I mean seriously...twice yesterday, once today...how much sex can one man take?? LOL Plus I have the extra added bonus that sex has never been a problem, we've always been very good in that department (maybe not in frequency but definitely in quality).

The only thing that bothers me about any of this is that he never tells me he loves me, and I don't tell him very often either, because he visibly bristles to hear it, and also that sex is just that...sex, it's not making love...but that's okay, it's all just words I suppose.

-Caren

I took my WH some bean soup and corn bread up to his work, he said he had already eaten, but that he would take it home with him, I also made peanut butter cookies, which he got into right away. I stayed at his shop and talked to him for a few, I wanted to let him know that work was putting me on a short term leave of absence due to the psych. problems I've been having. That I will be receiving 75% of my pay during my leave, and that they want me to be seen at an intensive outpatient program, you apparently go there 3 times a week for like 5 hours a day (Yuck), anyway, you'd think that he'd be supportive, I mean hello, he's the one that landed me in this situation. I suppose he's not to blame for my fragile psyche, but he's the one that sent me into this tailspin, but no....he's acting all irritated like I'm stupid or something. I didn't react to it, but it hurt my feelings. He kept asking me all kinds of questions and saying things like "Oh great..." stuff like that. Again, I just played it cool, but sheesh!!!

I left there and went to the grocery store to pick up some coke and then I went home.

Tonight when my daughter called him for their goodnight ritual, she said "Do you want to talk to Mom?" He must have said "I don't know does she want to talk to me?" because she said "Mom....do you want to talk to him?" I shook my head yes and she handed me the phone, he said, in a very short, curt way "What's up?" like it was annoying that I wanted to talk to him...I said "Why does something have to be up for me to talk to you?" (Not snotty...still sounding happy) He said "Oh, I don't know, I just thought something was up because you wanted to talk to me." I said "Nope, what are you doing?" He said "Eating" I said "Oh, you eating the beans and cornbread" he said "Yeah" I said "Oh, are they good?" He said "Yeah" I said "Umm okay, well I didn't really want anything" He said "When's your doctors appointment tommorrow?" I said "9:15" He said "What about taking the kids to school??!!" I said "They have to be at school before that." He said "oh" I said "Did you want to come and take a shower?" He said "I dunno......well....yeah" I said "Okay, not a problem, as long as you're here before I leave, I don't have to be here while you take the shower." He said "Okay.....call me at 8am and wake me up." I said "Okay" He's like "Alright, goodnight" I said "Goodnight" and hung up.

I guess this would be my "backlash" from actually having a pleasant day with him yesterday and part of today....back to feeling guilty over his whole predicament and taking it out on me.......yippee!!!

-Caren

caren
dont bring up problems your having emotionally.
he probably takes it as "oh here is her next ploy" no matter what is going on in your head, you are doing great, and just an idea, but cut him off, you gave him a taste of what he is missing, now make him want it, or beg for it.
dress pretty, smell pretty and act like im pretty and dam i know it.

I actually wasn't telling him that I was emotionally screwed, just sort of had to tell him I wasn't going to be working for a few. I really hate him knowing that this messes with me mentally, but it's kinda hard to get around that fact since I was seen at a suicide crisis center over the holiday, hopefully he'll just see it as me getting better? Oh well, what am I gonna do...I don't lie, LOL so I guess I'm screwed.

-Caren

im not saying lie just dont mention it, if he dont ask, dont tell. as far as he knows you are having the time of your life

LOL, what Dalson, you mean this ISN'T the time of my life?? Sheesh and I was having so much fun too!!! LMAO

Oh well, hind sight is 20/20...I can't take the words back, but I'll just be more careful what I say in the future <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

-Caren

look at it this way try and beat him at the smoke blowing game, try to blow it farther up his but than he is trying to blow it up yours <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

your not having fun ?
me neither, but she dont know that!!! hehehehe

Yeah...fun is for wussies anyway!!! Bring the pain....that's what I really like!!! LMAO

-Caren

you crack me up.
oh yeah if he comes over tommorow and you cook him a cheeseburger, spit on it, lol
no not really.
make him get the tramp to cook him one. hehehe

i gotta git home to my empty lonely house.
i have about stiffened up so much that i hope i can walk to my truck.

anyway, ill be back tommorow afternoon
get some sleep! goodnight

Dalson....the concept of filling his EN is to do things that the little trollup DOESN'T do...lol, so I don't want her to make him a cheeseburger dammit. I MAKE THE CHEESEBURGERS....lmao

I actually did get some decent sleep last night, that's because my good friend "ambien" was here, and it knocked me out.

I love filling his EN for him, but I can't help but want more...I'm not a very patient person....I need to become one I guess....but I just want him to act like he gives a flying spit about me. Throughout our entire marriage he was always VERY concerned about my feelings, and always brought me flowers/candy, showed me he found me attractive, held me while we slept, kissed me constantly(maybe I took all of that for granted...I'll never make that mistake again)...I'm in serious withdrawls here....I wonder if that b*tch is getting all my attention.

-Caren

Okay so far today nothing exciting, he asked me to call him and wake him up this morning so he could come and take a shower before I went to my Dr's appointment, so I did, I called at 8 am, he was all sleepy and said to call back at 8:30...about 8:20 he called me back and said he was up and would be over in a few....so I waited for him, he came...but I had to leave, so I just said "Okay I gotta go, have a good day, please lock up when you leave" He said "Okay...thank you" and I left.

He was being a mean @ss last night, so at least he's being semi-civil today.

I'm going to go to lunch with my sister, just for something to do...my other alternative was sleeping...lol, I guess I can fit sleep in there somewhere.

-Caren

Caren,

You are doing good. As a matter of fact, since he was an @ss last night, it is kinds good he got nothing out of you sexually this morning. Of course, you can chalk it up to having to leave. But to him, he had two great days in that area with you. I am sure he came over this morning expecting a little more. And then he didnt get any. Definitely pain for us men!! So, guess who is missing YOU right now? Even if he doesnt admit it. Even if he is nasty.

There will be ups and downs on the rollercoaster. Dont you ride it with him. Just keep doing what you are doing. The poor sucker has no idea what he is doing. And right now, he has no idea that his wife is so great. But he will soon.

In His arms.

Caren

When you cross paths with WH in the mornings when you are going out, you be sure to dress UP, like you are going somewhere fabulous, and meeting with very important people. Let him see you at your very BEST, and if he asks about your day, be coy, and just a little bit vague about it.

Drives men crazy to think their BS might be "up to something". Paint the illusion, without LB's or lies. Make his imagination work a little overtime.

Just a thought...
SD

You know, I agree with SD!!

But I would also like to say that it is unfair what you women have over us men! Dressing up, getting dolled up...wearing camisoles, etc...we just get led around by our hormones. It isnt fair! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

In His arms.

Isn't it great though?? LOL Hormones RULE!!!

-Caren

hormones?
that is not what i call that.
caren your winning and he dont even know it. i wish ww would give my HORMONES some attention. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

they are absolutely right, it drives me crazy to see my ww looking good smelling good etc. but i dont let on. VERY HARD <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />