There is such a wealth of informtion and people on these boards and I am asking for help with this situation:

Several years ago after WH had left our home, our 13 y.o daughter ( at the time) dated a total scum ..... you know what I mean. He eventually went to prison for 3 years for credit card theft but he also had a lewd and michevious charge too.

Throughout his stay in prison, he wrote to my daughter. She never responded. He wrote as he was about to get out of prison - he gave her his number & said to call if she wanted. He wrote that if she didn't contact him, that he wouldn't contact her again.

Tonight I found out that he has been calling her on her cell phone. She has told him not to call, has had friend's boyfriends tell him not to call... He called last night & she told him that she would contact the police if he ever called her again.

My head is spinning. What can be done? What do we need to be aware of? Any help is appreciated

d.

March straight down to the police station, report it file a complaint on phone harassment with the phone company, the police will follow up and will be alert ed that an excon is stalking a young girl - find out who his parol officer is and go to see him. His parole officer should be all over this.

Get your daughter a can of pepper spray, preferably one with a blinding light. If not with the light then any ole pepper spray will do.

Make sure she is never alone.

PS don't wait until he calls her again, start now.

I have lots of questions, this might help to figure out if this is a real danger.

Has your daughter had the same cellphone number for 5 years ? If not, which is a fair assumption, she gave him the cell phone number. Get the cellphone number changed.

Is this guy dangerous ? Although he may be "scum"...and has done some time for less than noble actions...he may not be a danger to your daughter. Does she feel threatened by any of this ? Or is just a nuisance ?

Change the number. He isn't really stalking her at this point. Cell phone calls aren't stalking unless it's against a RO, or court order of some type.

Accept the possibility that she may have kept in some contact, and move forward past this.

I have an 18 year old daughter. She dated a less than noble guy. He won't disappear forever. He still calls her, shows up at her job unexpectedly bearing gifts, flowers, cards, gestures of undying love although this guy now has a baby with another girl. Who knows.

I used to get upset that this guy never left my daughter alone, but I trust her. If she felt threatened in any way...she'd tell me. If he calls, and she doesn't want to talk to him...well she just doesn't answer her cell. And he won't call our home number.

Thanks for such quick responses. My daughter read what I wrote & corrected me - she was 15 years old.

My gut feeling is that the guy is not well, that he's not just a guy who hasn't gotten over his girl. He's someone to be concerned about.

D.

Go with your gut feeling.

Believe me the police and the parole officer are the place to start. Pronto.

As an ex-parole officer, a word of advice. Give your name and allow PO to use it in confronting parolee. If you don't, the PO can't do much. With it, he can make it a directive. If the parolee continues to call, PO can try to get his parole revoked.

Vaya Con Dios.

Thanks for the replies.... my daughter is 18 so she is the one who would need to file a complaint & She doesn't want to go to the police right now because they will notify him. I have a feeling that she is Hoping he won't ever call again, and that if she gets the police involved now, it may piss him off & he do something stupid.

This guy was in prison for 3 years. My daugter really rebelled when her Dad was first doing all his "stuff" and she picked the saddest scum to "help". He was from from an alcoholic family, that makes our family look like Leave it to Beaver.

ktu - will they notify him if we go to the police?

D.

<small>[ January 06, 2005, 07:45 PM: Message edited by: WillGetThruThis ]</small>

Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. I couldn't find your postings.

I would guess that the police would but you really should ask your local department Policies and laws differ from one area to another.

thanks ktu