I would like thoughts on this and any suggestions please. You have helped me out in the past quick recap, my husband is military was out of country for awhile. Became very close to another military member, no proof of PA, says they were only friends but did things out of character such as gift buying and other things. Has since apologized for the behavior and hurting me. I see him coming back to the Lord and really trying.

This situation. Where he is stationed now had a female while I and my children were with him at his job walk by him several times. During those times I observed her look him up and down. He never paid attention to her or acknowledged her not sure he looked at her as he had sunglasses on, though he probably did. After several times of doing this she stops and says "smile(husbands name)". He still doesn't say anything to her. At this point I get a gut reaction. We then go to a get together work related but relaxed atmosphere. I see this girl and she doesn't come around us or say hi. As soon as I leave my spouses side she is right there beside him but she never comes up to him while I am with him or says anything. Not being sure if I'm jealous and over reacting cause of past behavior I arrange for the three of us to go out to dinner. After dinner as we are paying she never even offers to pay for her part of the dinner. Usually when we have gotten together with others we all split the bill. She did not offer anything. Spouse says he doesn't know why(his favorite comment). He says I don't understand the military relationship. Is it common in the military for the females to expect the males to pick up the whole check without being offered????????? And what do you think about her behavior????

Thank you

I think her behavior is inappropriate. I think you need to calmly sit down and state that the relationship between her and him is not right (why doesnt she hang out with you around, unless what they are doing is wrong?). No, it is not common to pick up the check for a female soldier.

Believe me, I understand the military!! This is probably the OW, and he is probably trying like all WSs to justify continued contact. "We can still be friends and not cross the line." Barbara Streisand!!

Time to sit him down and tell him that a relationship other than business with another female is an affair. It is an EA, and he needs to stop.

Your gut is right. This is wrong, and he needs to stop it now. Look back at the posts about Heroswife. She thought her husband was having too chummy a relationship in the Army with a fellow soldier. Come to find out, they were having a full blown affair. He then stopped the PA, but continued having "friendship" with her. Which drove Heroswife nuts!!

Eventually, it took her confronting her husband, and OW's husband, in order to get it resolved and to get her husband to stop contact all together.

In His arms.