Wheww....I was in panic for a moment... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
In a way I have been in denial through this...yes I have looked at what I think I could do better, but I have always thought since we have been through so much that with time he would (and a part of me hopes will) wake up before its too late..
Wh relationship with the boys is becoming strained...they don't want to go over. I think that I'm going to have to move again (2nd in 6months - guess we learn from mistakes) to put more of a distance between us. They see both of us each day. Oldest son is not wanting to be around him, they are fighting, I'm tired of being the bad refree.... WH doesn't go to any of their IC sessions ( I have to take them- the oldest two have adhd and middle also has severe dyslexia)I had to set up the IEP meetings etc....I have even set appointments up when I have to work so he will have to do it! (Something happens though and it gets rescheduled)
WH still does not believe in such "thing as an emotional affair" and doesn't believe when it did become physical that it was an affair "because I was planning on moving out, and we were civil seperated" (hmm....that def. moved my butt out quicker) He's the one that one day happily mentioned that he was "passive/agressive ...and avoided all conflict with me", said OW "helped him relize this...."so honey she doesn't want to ruin our M she is supportive of me" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
I found this site after I had moved, wish I had found it before....there should be a form when u marry....lol...."read this before you say "I do"
I tried to give him hope, understanding while letting him know I don't approve, but when the OW pulled away from the parking lot (that I caught them in)laughing at me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> ....think that is enough...
I'm feeling today that I should move on...but how?
I have no family, I'm an only child and parents are deceased, what extended family i do have is states away....
with 3 boys how can I have no contact? who could relay? I would love to go dark....I tried it once...a bit modified because of the boys...thats when I almost had to get a RO of him... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
mabey this time since he is "so happy now"....it would work... but I never did a good plan a yet, and there is still alot of hate/love words actions from him....
Ok....lol...I feel a little better; thank you <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
PS...I have learned that by moving out I can make it! At least physically...emotionally still some big knots...but...they are getting lose....
I enjoy my space! I enjoy spending the evening with the boys with no strain from him being there...something I never thought would happen! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
<small>[ January 06, 2005, 07:01 PM: Message edited by: allirose89 ]</small>
