WH had A for 5 months before I discovered it. D-Day was July 5, 2004. After back and forth with her for the next 2 months he swore he would cut off all contact. From September to now I was trying to Plan A it. On January 2, he told me he was leaving. He left on January 3. I am so miserable right now I can't take it. I have two little girls and I feel so alone I can't stand it. We met with an attorney today about a seperation agreement, it doesn't even seem to effect him. I can barely think straight, I can't believe he gave up on me and this marriage. We have been married for 10 years and together for 17 years. I don't know if I can go on, I am so hurt I just want to run away. I need some words of wisdom. We were doing MC but the past 2 months she was just meeting with him because she said his head was so screwd up. Says he thinks he is soooo in love with OW. What should I do?

Me (36)
WH (36)
2 D 5 & 7
Married 10 years
Together 17 years

first hang in there. I know this is the worst pain you have probably EVER felt. Second do your best to stay strong for those girls. Third read surviving an affair- it will help explain some of the things your WH does and says, and you will know you are not alone.

I am sorry for your pain. I am glad you have this place to help you through this.

Sorry you are having to go through all of this. It is really miserable at first, but does get much, much better. Plan A is the place to be.

They all do and say the same things, and are ready to throw away a marriage at the drop of a hat. Have you exposed the A?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by jkhippy:
<strong> I don't know if I can go on, I am so hurt I just want to run away. I need some words of wisdom. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">YOU CAN AND WILL GO ON. As much as you are hurt right now, you have to be strong for your daughters. You have to think of them here. As hard as it is, they canot see an emotional wreck now as their mom, because they are now old enough to feel the effect this will have on them. They are gonna hurt now, and look to you for ereassurnace and a safe haven. My deepest sympathies are with you here, but realize that you HAVE TO get through this, and more importantly YOU WILL GET through this. We have all been there....and survived...YOU CAN AND WILL to.

LM

{{{{JKHippy}}}}}
My heart goes out to you! I was in your shoes 6 months ago and thought I would just die. Trust me...it will get better and you CAN do it!!!
Be strong for your kids....they need you more than ever right now.
I know how much pain you are in...just know that you are loved and you will survive. MB has been a saving grace for me. I've come a long way thanks to all of the people here. You will too!
You will be in my prayers.
Keep your chin up!

Thanks for the support. My family has known about the affair since August. He only told friends we were having problems. Everybody thinks he is such a great guy, he doesn't want anyone to know what he has done. MC thinks he needs to get OW out of his system. Their A was cut short by me finding out. I don't know if I can wait while he gets this thing out of his system. She is married as well, when I told her husband he didn't believe it. He has been calling 3 - 4 times a day for the kids and driving by the house. I asked what he was doing, I told him moving out was his choice, he chose not to be around the kids, not me. I am trying to stay strong but it is awfully hard.

Me (36)
WH (36)
2D 5 & 7
Married 10 years
Together 17 years

Okay, you have let OW's husband know, and he does not believe you. Is that correct? He may not believe you, but will be watching.

I do understand the pain!!!
I have to say though..I don't think I agree with the MC saying that he needs to get it out of his system. So does the MC think you are supposed to sit around waiting for this to happen?
I think he needs to cut all contact with OW ASAP!!!!!!!
My WH only tried for 1 week to stop contact and only went to 1 MC session. He gave up on us after that! Nice huh? I thought being married almost 15 years would have at least deserved more time than that!
I really am sorry you are going through this. Hang in there and keep posting..it truly helps!

(((((Jk))))) I'm so, so sorry. I understand feeling like you can't go on, and it's so hard to drag yourself out of bed, much less be strong for your kids, I know the pain, I'm right there with ya hon. Going through the same miscellaneous Bullsh*t. I can't believe the injustice of it all.....I assume, much like myself you weren't asked if you'd like to play this little game we're playing....it sucks, but what choice do you have but to play.

When my WH is especially rude to me, I make sure to 'nicely' point out that he isn't being very considerate of my feelings, his reply is "I guess that's just who I am now" what a total friggen copout...but alas, I believe that I do make him think as it is usually several days before he starts that crap with me again.

It's not fair, and it's ugly and I wish I could make it go away for you hon.

-Caren

I can't believe I am in this situation. I had no idea he was so unhappy in our marriage. I also don't know how he could just walk out on me and the kids. Since he left he calls 3 -4 times a day wanting to talk to us. He also wants to come over for dinner. I told him he can't have it both ways. I need time now to deal with him leaving, he can't pretend to be part of this family and then go off with her. The sad part is from what I've learned of her is she is a complete slut. She got her current husband by having an A with him and getting him to leave his wife, but my husband doesn't get it. He thinks he is different and that they love each other. I can't take it!!

Me (36)
WH (36)
2D 5 & 7
Married 10 years
Together 17 Years

<small>[ January 07, 2005, 03:07 PM: Message edited by: jkhippy ]</small>

I don't know if this gives you any comfort at all but odds are that this affair will not last. He will eventually wake up, return to his normal self and feel overwhelming guilt for what he has done.

This is the right place for you. Read Basic Concepts and about Plan A and Plan B. Stay strong and come here for support. There are many here who have gone through what you are going through and can help you along the way.

I'm so sorry for your situation.