I agree...he is about to come unglued. His mom and dad actually think he is such a deep thinker now and that he is doing his best. BULL!!!!!
His mom said that he seems so much happier now. Wow....so I guess he's much happier now that he doesn't see his son on a daily basis???? He claims to be a much better person now. Well yea....your lie is out in the open and you aren't having to hide it. Yea....you should be feeling soooooo much better now. Geezzz....I just want to scream in his face....WAKE UP!!!!

CV...
My WH actually is trying to tell me that he isn't leaving our family...he's leaving me and that it isn't for the OW. Yeah right!!! He's with her isn't he and not me!!!????
He is trying so hard to justify his actions. I even asked him "why are you telling me all of this...if you are so happy?" He keeps saying he wants me to be at peace and help me find happiness. He wants me to meet someone so he's off the hook. What a jerk!
Every time he writes his crap it just validates for me, how happy I am not to be with him.

It is up to us to create a loving, supportive environment for DS so that he will not be just another kid from a broken marriage.

Our son should be grateful that we are divorcing so we can become even better parents.

This is why I refuse to say the word divorce but rather dissolution.

And, may I add .... I have decided to call dog poop on the lawn daisy droppings. Both D-words. It makes me feel better about the dog poop to re-name it.

Thanks to irresponsable, uncaring parents that divroce in this society that it has been tagged with such a negative stigma thru the eyes of a child , bitter ex husbands and wives and the general population.

Don't people realize that dissolution is actually character-building for the child. Dissolution is so good for kids in fact, that it should be offered as a college course for parents.

I have accepted that of course you will eventually be with someone else.

And I now give you permission to make choices about your own life, because I know that without me saying so, you would simply wait around waiting for me to give you the green light.

I have accpeted that DS will eventually have another person in his life known as a husband to you and a support to DS himself in some ways. I am not going to block this from you.

Again, I the all powerful WH give you permission to have a life of your own, because I am a kind, nice, and generous man.


I want you to feel secure and happy and I will try to create that for you.

I will make you secure as I leave you for another woman, have no fear about that! I am not some sort of a bum who would leave his family high and dry !!! NO!!! I am generous and I offer my blessing on your happiness as I pull the rug out from under you.

At the same time I also have to protect myself and my future as well.

I must protect myself from any uncomfortable feelings such as guilt, grieving, loss, remorse, and the ever sneaky moral conscience. My future must be secure from these feelings.

Love me as I walk away with all your hopes and dreams. It is in our child's best interest that I do this.

Pep <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

<small>[ January 07, 2005, 10:13 AM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

Pep...that was great! It made me laugh!
You and Orchid are so good at this reverse babble. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

On the other thread you said OW is a PA. Was your WH one of her patients?

Pep

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Pepperband:
<strong> It is up to us to create a loving, supportive environment for DS so that he will not be just another kid from a broken marriage.

Our son should be grateful that we are divorcing so we can become even better parents.

This is why I refuse to say the word divorce but rather dissolution.

And, may I add .... I have decided to call dog poop on the lawn daisy droppings. Both D-words. It makes me feel better about the dog poop to re-name it.

Thanks to irresponsable, uncaring parents that divroce in this society that it has been tagged with such a negative stigma thru the eyes of a child , bitter ex husbands and wives and the general population.

Don't people realize that dissolution is actually character-building for the child. Dissolution is so good for kids in fact, that it should be offered as a college course for parents.

I have accepted that of course you will eventually be with someone else.

And I now give you permission to make choices about your own life, because I know that without me saying so, you would simply wait around waiting for me to give you the green light.

I have accpeted that DS will eventually have another person in his life known as a husband to you and a support to DS himself in some ways. I am not going to block this from you.

Again, I the all powerful WH give you permission to have a life of your own, because I am a kind, nice, and generous man.


I want you to feel secure and happy and I will try to create that for you.

I will make you secure as I leave you for another woman, have no fear about that! I am not some sort of a bum who would leave his family high and dry !!! NO!!! I am generous and I offer my blessing on your happiness as I pull the rug out from under you.

At the same time I also have to protect myself and my future as well.

I must protect myself from any uncomfortable feelings such as guilt, grieving, loss, remorse, and the ever sneaky moral conscience. My future must be secure from these feelings.

Love me as I walk away with all your hopes and dreams. It is in our child's best interest that I do this.

Pep <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Everything Pep wrote here is so true its scary <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> My W did the same things, said the same things. She tried to turn everything around on me and somehow imply her leaving all of those times was a positive thing. NO THE POSITIVE THING WOULD HAVE BEEN ENDING YOUR R WITH OM AND ALL THOSE SINGLE FRIENDS YOU MADE DURING OUR SEPARATION.

What a shame! TREE eventually the fog lifts on the WS, the only problem is sometimes we are too tired to give a darn anymore, too worn out, too pummeled. You WH sounds like a scrub who wants to avoid blame for his cruel selfish actions and to make matters worst he actually expects you to give him your "APPROVAL and SUPPORT" while he debases your M.

Did you respond to his email? I hope you didn't waste too much time trying to explain and defog him...he's passed the point where anything you say or do can reach him. You H will have to DEFOGG on his own with the help of the HARSH realities and repurcussions of his callous actions.

Good Luck Tree...
and remember your H's actions are not at all a reflection on you as a person.

Be Good to Yourself! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

LOL...Not that I know of Pep. I think they met through work somehow. He works in the medical field. He told me they met at a bar/restaurant. Not sure I believe that!!!!!!!!

Family Matters...No, I didn't respond to that email. He has sent a few more but I just print them out and put them in my file. He left me a message yesterday telling me that he was going to send me a letter and try to eliminate my emotional pain. OK, and how does he plan on doing that??? He's just totally lost it!!!
You are right...I no longer give a darn. I have accepted that I am getting divorced and no longer want to save my marriage. I just can't go on this way. If this had been the only A...maybe I would try harder but according to her and now him, there have been several. I don't need a man like that! There has got to be some honest decent men out there. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by TreeReich:
<strong>He left me a message yesterday telling me that he was going to send me a letter and try to eliminate my emotional pain.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Beam him up!!

Scotty

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by TreeReich:
<strong> If this had been the only A...maybe I would try harder but according to her and now him, there have been several. I don't need a man like that! There has got to be some honest decent men out there. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Tree,
I'm sorry you're going through this crap, but I'm not sorry your tired of him. There are some decent men out there, believe me. GC is out here, I'm out here and so many more. I understand how you feel totally. At some point you MUST step off the rollercoaster and once you detox from the pain and loss you eventually become optimistic and excited realizing LIFE IS NOT OVER JUST BECAUSE YOUR MARRIAGE MAY BE...

Good luck Tree...

WAT, he's already been beamed up. In fact, I think he is living on another planet with all the other happy, happy "A"ers.

Tree, he wants to eliminate all your emotional pain? Now he has moved along on his spiritual path to becoming God. He is just going to wash away all the pain that "he caused." But let's not say that. And his parents? Well let's just beam them up too. "Our little boy can do no wrong. Consequences for bad behavior? No, he can do whatever he wants, as long as our son is happy." Good, they can deal with the new, potential DIL from hell.

Hate to say it, but I don't blame you for wanting to get out. In a way it's great he keeps e-mailing you. (1) It's the best darn fogtalk I've ever come across. (2) It's got to make you realize what an idiot he is, at least now. (3) It has to confirm in you that it truly is better to be without this man than with him. At least in this state he is in. Plus, this is the 1st I've heard of previous As.

Tree, please keep sharing these e-mails. This has been a hard month for me, as d-day will be tomorrow. But your H's pathetic fogtalk has somehow made me laugh. I'm sorry, I definitely am not laughing at any of your pain. I'm purely laughing at him. CV

yea...I agree we beam all of them up! LOL! They are definitely all in denial.
I'll conitnue to share the emails. It actually makes me feel better to get all of your input on them. It just confirms that I'm not the crazy one here.
Apparently he had 2 other affairs that I didn't know about. They were actually ONS. Well, that's what I was told anyway. Who knows!!!!!

Tree:

Oh my gosh, I just choked on my drink when I read this because I was laughing so hard.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He left me a message yesterday telling me that he was going to send me a letter and try to eliminate my emotional pain. OK, and how does he plan on doing that??? He's just totally lost it!!!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He's going to send you a letter to try to eliminate your emotional pain???? I MUST know what this letter says. That's the most assinine thing I've ever heard in my life!!!

Oh, I'm glad you save this stuff, if only to give them to him at a later date so he can see the extent of his cranial-rectal inversion.

LMAO

-Caren

Tree,

I particularly love how these aliens think they can just dictate how everything will go. He'll be able to give you an e-mail that will eliminate your emotional pain. He gives you permission to move on.

Sheesh!

Some of the best fog-talk I got from my WxH was the note he left the night he walked out. He basically said, in three different places in the note, that he really didn't think that things were over with us, but that he just HAD to go be with her and find out. (Find out what? He didn't say.....)

As if I were some toy he put up on the shelf while he went to play with a new one. But don't worry, old toy, I'll be back to play with you again eventually.

It gets back to the selfishness... or maybe more accurately, self-centeredness. They get such a shock when they find out we don't want to and won't act out the part they've written for us in their fantasy life!

I do save EVERYTHING and was planning on giving it all to him one day and saying "read it and let me know how it makes you feel". He's so FOGGED out!!!

It's amazing how he thinks he can decide how I'm going to feel. Ridiculous!!!! He has no idea how I feel and what I've been through. I'm sure one day he will find out.

THE ONLY WAY A LETTER WOULD MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY IS IF IT WAS SOAKED IN XANEX.
tree
your husband needs to be in a plce where the jackets have no sleeves.
i think we should change aliens to "A"liens <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by TreeReich:
He left me a message yesterday telling me that he was going to send me a letter and try to eliminate my emotional pain.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I can hardly wait...

PLEASE share when it arrives.

Pep
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

He left me a message yesterday telling me that he was going to send me a letter and try to eliminate my emotional pain.

Oh I want a letter that will take away my pain. (or a zanax <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> )

Well after Pep and the others get done with it, I'm sure I'll be pain free for the rest of the day, while I laugh my head off. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Tree, not to minimize your pain, but he does come up with the most bizarre stuff.

Licks the letter covered in Xanax. LOL!!!!!!

I don't quite understand the mentality of these WS's. I'm going to have an affair, leave my family...and then I'm going to dictate the way their lives are going to be, even though it was my decision not to be part of them.

My WH hasn't said anything quite as funny as your WH has Tree, he does say some stupid things though. He is convinced that our DD10 is going to be perfectly fine when we divorce.....kids go through it all the time. He wants all these things, and then he wants to be jealous of me. Apparently he doesn't want to "Lead me on" but he also doesn't want me to find someone else either....I guess I'm supposed to be a crazy old cat lady.

I was talking to my DD10 last night, and said "Man I wish I would win the lottery..." And she said "Yeah, then you could buy Daddy back" I started laughing and said "Buy him back?" She said "Yeah!" I said "Hmmm I wonder how much he costs?!"

My WH is becoming increasingly paranoid, I think his A is coming apart at the seams. I dunno though, I had to drive past his work today (on my way somewhere else) and her car is there, so she's at work today, so you never know what's going to happen. I think she is P.O.ed that I am not giving in to all this and that I'm adamant about NOT getting divorced. I don't know how much he tells her, but I'm sure she's hating life due to all the involvement he still has with me and his daughter. I see him every bleedin day for some reason or another. I am bracing myself for him to spend tonight with her.....just gotta keep telling myself it's starting to unravel.

-Caren

Yes, The Word Game is a favorite of WSs. My H would become furious if I dared refer to his taking his female co-workers out for secret private lunches as "dating," or if I referred to the girls who bent over in front of, sent him vulgar sexual greeting cards or sneaked out of the building with him for those private lunches as "girlfriends."

They insist that if you don't call something by its proper name, then that's not really what it is so it's therefore okay. Well, you are what you eat . . .
Mulan