My WW and I have been separated for about 3 months now, and being the ever-optimistic person that I am (ha!), I decided to start thinking about all the positives of my situation.

Well, over many, many weeks, I've compiled an exhaustive list, which I'd like to share with everyone. If there's anything I've missed (doubt it), feel free to join in and add your own!


The Advantages of Separation, Vol. 1

1) I can intentionally leave the toilet seat up, just for the helluvit.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Well, here are my thoughts:

The Advantages of Separation, Vol. 1

1) I can intentionally leave the toilet seat up, just for the helluvit.
2) I can watch any TV show and listen to any music I like.
3) If I feel like not cooking, I don't have to
4) I don't have to listen to whining and complaints or see the God, I hate-you-this-is-all-your-fault-you-made-me-do-this,-Bi+tch, looks
5) I don't feel let down when WH doesn't follow through on something as I now know he can't and won't.
6) I am responsible for me and DD only.
7) I am much smarter and tougher and resilient.

I can't think of any advantages to being away from the man I love and having my family in shambles the way it is, unless it's the ability to take a hard look at myself and make some needed changes.

-Caren

I left my WH and moved 3000 miles away w/ my DD. When the movers came and took my stuff, reality began to clear some of the fog. My absence and his loneliness eventually lifted what remained. I also did not have to be there for the withdrawal and I actually started living again for me & my DD. I was less consumed by the A and its all consuming pain. Not seeing him everyday was relief, at first I cried every night, but eventually I realized lying in bed w/ him and the distance between us, was worse than sleeping alone.

Now all he wants is me & his family. He actually called the OW "nothing but trouble". I think we would not be here if I stayed.

In my sitch...

We couldn't be in the same house any longer. I knew him and OW were in contact, I would know when, and I was angry about it. Major LBing all the time I dreaded him coming home I was hoping he would stay out!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> So...since I have moved out

1) Anger at WH is less, We can actually laugh, hold conversations and smile at each other!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
2) When I was in the house, WH would do anything to leave, now he comes over here (I limit to family times like today sons bday he ate dinner) I know this was hard on him, made him think if OW was "worth" losing these special "family" times...
3) I'm able to work on me! I can get some rest, or do something special for me! Watch want I want, eat when I want (it's nice to have some down time) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
4) It's difficult (and always looking for plan a ideas) but it is my way of elim. LBers, (I still have some limits...but they are farther in between!) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />
5)my boys are more comfortable. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> They are not "walking on eggshells" as to "our" moods they can tell when things are not right

Would I move out again? With the information that I have learned here lately, if I would have had it then, to attempt it properly I might feel differently, but I didn't so now I know I have a long road ahead but like tonight, seeing us smile, laugh and joke together with the boys - was worth it. (been a long time for that)

Ps: I can listen to ANY music I feel like, Watch Whatever tv show, and decorate any way I want! lol...I'm painting "my" bathroom pink...lol

<small>[ January 08, 2005, 01:20 AM: Message edited by: allirose89 ]</small>

I didn't look forward to leaving. But after I was thrown out by my STBX, I pretty soon realized that this was the biggest benefit.

Having an emotionally safe place to hang my hat. PLUS ... being able to provide/create one for my children.