Again, with the hard choices! My VP finally called me regarding my concerns about my forced transfer. Ignored my concerns re: hostile work environment and gave me an ultimatum—January 13 or termination. I just can’t do this anymore. Forced moves forced divorce, forced situations. I need the income, benefits, etc., but how do I report to an environment that blames me for my depression, moves me 40 miles away, and tells me I’ll like it? It's the A and Dv all over again! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

What in my life am I doing that I want to do? I feel like I’m doing everyone else a favor by not allowing them to see how badly their decisions hurt me.

At some point you may decide that it's best 2 just cut your losses and be done with the battle.

With our house, we had 2 finally decide 2 drop our bad-faith lawsuit against our insurance company just 2 protect our sanity. We MIGHT have won the fight, but it would have taken us another year and a half at least just 2 get 2 trial. But if we had lost, we'd have lost the ability 2 rebuild our house, 2. This way, we have SOME funds 2 continue the work.

So, we've chosen 2 reduce the number of ancillary 2wits that we have 2 deal with. It's an amazingly liberating experience.

The hardest thing 2 get past was the sense of having failed somehow. Leaving a job under those circumstances might seem like an admission of failure or inadequacy. But if you can get past those thoughts, I think you'll find your stress levels are much reduced in the process.

Ask Still Seeking. He had 2 make a choice similar 2 ours some years back. It was largely based on hearing his story and others like it, that helped us make our decision.

best,
-ol' 2long

I love the corporate world...so caring...so concerned....not! It sounds like what your company is trying to do is get you to "make the right decision" Meaning leave the company without them making you do it.

Somebody once said that everybody needs somethiing in their life to go right. Either your homelife can be crap or your work can be crap. If both are, it's intolerable.

Can you take the job for awhile while you look for something else? Do you have a backup plan? Would you get unemployment? Are there health benefits someplace else?

Could be a good time for you to explore another career path. Good luck!

I work for a state university. The great state of Florida. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Corporate culture is the name of the game there. Same Scr#W You attitude, though. I'm really considering a lawsuit. I'll paray on it this weekend.

Employers are A-holes!!! I am having to deal with 10 kinds of sh*t from my employers too...they are the least understanding people in the ENTIRE world. I have been put on a short term leave of absence by my counselor and my case worker at Employee Health. I work at a hospital in a huge company that owns the majority of the hospitals in my state, the company itself is pretty good about everything, but my managers are awful. They know what's going on, but apparently I need to toughen up. They called a few days ago and left a message that I need to come in there and "discuss my absences" with them. HELLO, I have never missed a day that wasn't excused, and I'm going through my own personal hell here.....do you think they care? No, they don't give 2 sh*ts about what I'm going through.

So, I don't know, I may be looking into other employment during my leave.....they've done p*ssed me off.

-Caren

I'm a manager, but I hope I don't come across as unfeeling as those to whom I report.

Dleigh, it is so good to see you "out and about" on MB, responding on other peoples threads...getting outside of yourself and your sitch a bit.

You have been hit on all sides at the same time, that is for sure. But look at what you are made of. A lesser man might have reacted less noble than you have.

You should be proud of yourself! Your kids are very lucky to have such a strong and caring dad. Not all do you know.

If you could see yourself the way those of us on MB see you, how you were when you came here and how you have grown and are rising above... well you would like you a lot. And I think you are starting to remember just how likeable you are!

Thanks weaver. After today's events I need the encouragement

I'm just hours away from having to give a response to my nonresponsive, ultimatuum spoutingemployers. Everything in me says to fight this. I wonder though if it's not the frustration of being in a situation jump-started by my WxW.

I'm tired of fighting, but I'm tired of people lying to/on me too. Being in an environment of constant disregard is breaking me down. I'm so angry and depressed that I'm afraid that my attitude alone will instigate tangible reasons for my dismissal.

I wish I had something to say that would help. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

I have been in my position for 17 years, and I know that I could be ousted at any time. It happens all the time in my company, but usually without notice or without options. They bring security guards in , usually on a Friday, and escort the "latest" out of their office with all their belongings. No notice or warning because of possible sabotage.

It sucks, it makes no sense that life should be this way.

I am sorry Dleigh but I know you will make the right decision, and that you will be fine. Because you are just that way. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I'm just hours away from having to give a response to my nonresponsive, ultimatuum spouting employers. Everything in me says to fight this. I wonder though if it's not the frustration of being in a situation jump-started by my WxW.

I'm tired of fighting, but I'm tired of people lying to/on me too. Being in an environment of constant disregard is breaking me down. I'm so angry and depressed that I'm afraid that my attitude alone will instigate tangible reasons for my dismissal.

I hope you're righ. I need to be alright about something...

Be angry at the unfairness of it, okay, but how important is it to you to have a job? If it were me, I'd go along with the change (in order to keep my career on track) and if the change turned out not to be something I could live with, I'd be in a much stronger position to look for a job (because I still had one). Unemployment is not an easy situation, so unless you're in the financial position to not work for an indefinite amount of time, take care in how you react to what's happening.

Listen to DeNovo, he is making very good sense.

Dleigh, this is NOT your fault. Your divorce is NOT your fault, nor what is going on in your job.

It's just a job Dleigh. It has nothing to do with who you are, do you here me, NOTHING!

If for no other reason, you are valuable and you are special because YOU are a child of GOD. Do you here me, YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO BE HERE, TO BE ON THIS EARTH...because YOU ARE DLEIGH.

Don't let anyone or anything EVER tell you different.

If I could do anything at all tonight, it would be to find a way to bring you peace.

This is not your fault, it has nothing to do with who you are.

Hang in there, and get through this. That is all you have to do right now, just get through it.

I have a veritable cavalcade of sh#@@y deals in my life now. Am I supposed to accept them all? My job is setting me up (I was actually TOLD this by a sympathetic administrator) my WxW could care less about flaunting her trigger-laden R in front of me. It all feels so raw. What then, can I do? My IC says ‘you can’t fight the system’, others say WxW doesn’t care. It’s everyone for his/herself, etc. The only way I can cope in these environments is to be numb. How am I supposed to parent my kids or run a department that way?

I need some kind of break in this.

Hmmm. Yes, you've been dealt a tough hand. I'm not suggesting that you're "supposed" to do anything about it. Would it feel good to throw the job in their face and walk away? Probably tomorrow, but how about next week or in six months? Do you have any practical career and financial concerns? Can you match your salary and benefits easily elsewhere? Do you have the ability to live indefinitely without a job? Do you have a better job alternative? Could you buy yourself some time by accepting this decision? Do you have the energy to fight? Do you have the resources? Would it be worth doing? If I were you, I would keep emotions out of the process as much as possible. What can you control? What are your priorities?

I should add that I've had some experience with involuntary job loss. It's a frustrating, helpless situation, and (personally) I would avoid unemployment if at all possible.

<small>[ January 09, 2005, 11:37 PM: Message edited by: DeNovo ]</small>

<small>[ January 09, 2005, 11:36 PM: Message edited by: DeNovo ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by DeNovo:
<strong> Hmmm. Yes, you've been dealt a tough hand. I'm not suggesting that you're "supposed" to do anything about it. Would it feel good to throw the job in their face and walk away? Probably tomorrow, but how about next week or in six months? Do you have any practical career and financial concerns? Can you match your salary and benefits easily elsewhere? Do you have the ability to live indefinitely without a job? Do you have a better job alternative? Could you buy yourself some time by accepting this decision? Do you have the energy to fight? Do you have the resources? Would it be worth doing? If I were you, I would keep emotions out of the process as much as possible. What can you control? What are your priorities?

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My priority must be my health and sanity. I need the $, yes, but being in such an advisarial environment after the last 18 months is frankly dangerous. None at work would agree b/c that would mea them having to step beyond protocol to help me.

I quit or sue, I could lose my home and boys (HUGE stressor). I stay, I'm getting jammed until they find a way to pull the trigger legally. (Mountains of drama!). I'm so anxious, I can't think straight. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I'm getting ready 2 go to my son's b-day party at school. Both our families will be there (neutral site. I'm in the middle of this cold war with my job and they're making with the pressure moves.

The tension I'm feeling right now is indescribable. The world is moving at a different speed right now and I fear I'm lost in this whirlwind...

Just spoke to some colleauges bemoaning the sitch at work. multiple stories abound. Appareantly they (bosses) HOPE I don't report in tomorrow. Gives them an easy out...


just more of the drama. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

<small>[ January 12, 2005, 07:15 AM: Message edited by: dleightonc ]</small>