He is so childish......WW blames me for everything that goes wrong in there relationship.....I told her today ,that....... same thing........It finally hit me today.......In her mind I am the cause of everthing that goes wronge......she told me today that meagan was more hers then mine....I told her no its 50/50.....she call my brother today and told him I wont leave her alone ......I turned all her friends and neighbors against her ......( Not her or the OM and all his beatings......)why does she think that they even talk to me because they see him for what he is and they see her lies.....she said I called her work the other day to get her schecell...I called to tell her that I kept Meagan home from school because she is the one to pick her up.......I asked the girl if WW was there and she said no but hold on....she came back and told me that WW starts at 11:30 am and would be there shortly...I told her to have WW call me...( just last week ww said let her know amnytime dd is sick....)she said I ride by there house 15 times a day....not hardly....It is the main route out of Gettysburg to my house...I try to avoid it.......My good friend is her landlord...That I do work for......I wired his shop.........Will she ever not blame me......damb

At this time Frank, No. She is blaming you for everything that she has done to ruin her own life. She is in denial, she is not accepting responsibility for her own actions.

You are not to blame for her decision to have an affair, move in with the OM and endure abuse or have his child. You know that so don't let her place any guilt your way.

The ONLY contact you should have with her should be regarding your daughter. Give her NOTHING to use against you ie: calling her cell phone, driving by etc. You have explained here why you might be put in this situation but be careful and avoid the temptation to get involved in her affairs. (pardon the pun)

You are doing a really good job of handling the situation. Continue to communicate with her in regards to Meagan and NOTHING else. Are you in the process of filing for divorce?

The OM sees you as a threat. You will always be Meagan's father, but you need not have any contact with him whatsoever.

Keep us posted, Ladysing

Does Meagan have her cell phone yet?

So.....the OM beats on your WW?? Do you guys have a legal custody order?? If not I'd tell her to take a flying leap, and wouldn't let her see Meagan unless she wanted to come to your house and see her....she doesn't need to be around that a-hole.

-Caren

frank

as the abuse seems to be a bit more blatant in the last week or so, have you spoken to your DD counsellor re her seeing him abuse her mom or anyone else for that matter???

I thought it may be more useful to have the counsellor ask this rather than you.... much better for court if/when it comes to it.

keep a diary of what your WW says, how she reacts, how OM reacts.............all is good for court...... WW may try to deny episodes but if you have pages and pages of dates and times a judge will put some weight on it as they can accept what evidence they feel is relevant in custody cases from what I have read on US custody laws.

<small>[ January 07, 2005, 10:12 PM: Message edited by: aussieswife ]</small>

For now on I will be letting my mother or brother do our mediating about Meagan ...I will be able to call meagans cell or she can call me.....no reason to talk to WW.....She told DD that she can't take the phone to school she has to keep it in the car.......NOT...We told meagan that this for calling daddy or relatives or incase something happens there.....

frank speak to her schol because this is a common rule in many schools.....no mobile phones...eg dont want to deal with lost/stolen/ phones, ringing during class etc etc etc.....

you will need toi explain to school headmaster/mistress whatever about situation & danger of abuse..eg something is going on & you are concerned WW behaviour is not protecting DD....they will alos keep an eye on her as well then.........& if they call Family services in WW a goner!!

I did talk to school principal .....He is cool with it...Along as she turns it off and keeps it in her book bag and not tell the other kids. I told him it is the only way to communicate with DD...I told him about Om taking WW cell phone and they have no home phone.... He unders stands.....I put several friends and family members #'s on the phone...It also has 2-way capability which is instent....I progamed there 2-way #'s in to it also...I told meagan not to be calling friends with it......I told her she can call me anytime she likes.....or two-way me.... WW told my brother she wants meagan to keep the phone in the car while she is in school ???????because I would call Meagan 7 times a day....LOL...( "Hello meagan r u in class" )get real......OMG

Glad I caught this before it went over to page 2.

Like the others I really like this idea Frank.

If Meagan is anything like my 10 yr old, she is still very much interested in being a "good" girl, and always follows the rules at school.

Great idea!

Ohhh and yes Meagan goes to IC monday....I get thirty minutes and meagan gets 30 minutes ever 4 weeks........If needed we add a time to see her.....

Frank,

My son is 10 and has a cell. We moved to a new area and found the cell t/b useful. We discuss how he uses it and keep tabs on his usage. Many children in his school have one. As long as the school's rules are followed, it is ok in our area for the children to carry it on their person.

As for the WS wanting Megan to leave it in the car....well....you do know the real motive, right? More like so the WS can use it? Hm..... Megan needs to protect her stuff from the WS also. Isn't it sad if that is the real reason and that your daughter has to take actions to protect herself from her own mother? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

take care,
L.

Hi frank,

I think the reason your WW wants the phone left with instead of with Meagan at school is mainly for two reasons. One, it takes away Meagan's ability to communicate with you unless WW is aware of it and approves (which I doubt she would at a time that OM was beating on her). Two, she might want a phone to use while Meagan is in school since she has no house phone and OM took her cell phone away from her. It is a RELIEF that Meagan now has a way to contact the outside world, that cell phone is Meagan's lifeline right now.

Having a relative be an intermediary is an EXCELLENT idea, frank! Good going!! Important info such as Meagan being home sick from school can be communicated with your WW without putting yourself in a position to be blamed for problems WW is having with OM. By taking yourself out of the way, your WW will have a chance to see who the problem really is. I think that the longer you use an intermediary and do not have direct contact with your WW the sooner the fog might start clearing. The sooner the fog clears, the better--so stay firm on not contacting WW ok?

I know these are difficult days for you, frank. Continuing to be a responsible father to Meagan will see both of you through this. One day Meagan will be able to look back on this time and see who had her best interest in mind and who didn't. I'm glad that you and she have the support of your relatives for Meagan's good.

Take care

Thank you for listening to me I appreciate all the help everyone tells me that "You don't want her back....right now I still do but I don't know how long I will hang on......

Frank, HANG ON and keep posting. You have come a long way!

Yes I will hang on.......Mom is going to call ww tomorrow to let her know that she called school and the principal is ok with meagan bringing it....She is going to ask ww why she would like to keep it in the car.....is there anything that Mom should or not talk about to ww in communicating for me for meagan......another words is there any thing mom should not disscuss