Things are escalating and I don't quite understand. As my WW said to the recent developments, "Why now?" I don't really have the answer, except all my emotions for the last year + have been for the boys, our family and me. But lately, I have been dwelling on the Affairs a lot more. Not real sure why. I did come across some E mails that pissed me off a bit.

I sent an E mail to OM after coming across some E mails that we exchanged. The E mails:

**************************************************
SUBJECT: I found this a bit interesting......

Body:
........and somewhat disgusting.

This correspondence took place right after you and ******* concluded your physical affair.


I wrote:

Sent: Monday, December 29, 2003 8:15 PM
To: ******, ********
Subject: Hey ********

Hey ********,

I need you to be up front with me. I have had a lot of respect for you, but at this point I am ready to pull the plug on this whole damn thing.
Obviously, there is more going on than I was aware. I thought, after our last conversation that we had this all figured out. Silly me. I
looked at ******'s phone this evening. Her phone has your number all over the "received", the "dialed" and "missed" calls. 12:45 am and 1:30 am, pretty hard to justify. Just be honest with me please. I CAN DEAL WITH IT. I am just getting really sick of the bull**** and deception.
Someone is going to get hurt! Someone better stand up and let me know what the F is going on in the next 24 hours or I will be in contact with folks that I think need to know. This is ripping mine and my children's lives apart.

Awaiting your response,
CJ Taylor

**************************************************
You replied:


From: ******, *******
To: *******@tampabay.rr.com
Subject: RE: Hey ********
Sent: Wednesday, December 31, 2003 1:12 PM

Chris,
Sorry this has taken so long, I have been on vacation this week and was unable to read my city e mail, I came in only because of your message.
I am unhappy to say the least that I seem to be getting involved in someone else's family problems.
I will not allow myself to be dragged into this.
I will defend myself only this once and after that you may feel free to call who you want. I have informed all those who need to know about this sordid mess, including the supervisor at Kelly Rec and especially my wife.
The only "charge" I can really respond to would be the calls.
I will allow you to talk to my wife just once to clarify, not out of a lack of respect to you, I just will not involve myself in this matter
much more. I understand you are going thru some hard times and if I can ease your mind I will try. But again I must make clear that I do not
want to be dragged into this.
My wife made the calls you are inquiring about. I had explained to her our conversation and upon seeing your wife's # on my cell she wanted to
call her back and have a women to women talk. Your wife has not called my cell much lately, the only message she has left was concerning
whether or not ****** made it to TKD or not. Harriet and I were heading home from a party when she seen a message on my phone, she then scrolled
and seen all the other calls that go back a ways, that was enough for her, I know she tried to call and was unsuccessful. I believe she is strongly committed to speaking with ******* and to make clear our unity on this matter.
As I said, to ease your concerns I will bring my wife to class next week and you can speak to her in private and you will see that everything has
been above board. After that I will completely distance myself from this matter.
Let me know what you would like to do.

Sincerely,

******** ******
Recreation Supervisor-Aquatics
Phone: *********
Suncom line - *******

What a bunch of bull sh--! The whole time knowing you had been screwing her for over a month! I know, you weren't when you wrote that, but that is of little consequence. And in that NASTY trailer!! Talk about desperate. Kinda goes against what you teach in TKD (Respect, honor, Integrity ect) not to mention basic morality.


I got his response after sending an E mail that said "I suppose you didn't get that one either??

His response:

No mr ******, I received it. I just don't feel I need to respond.

******** ******
Recreation Supervisor-Aquatics
Phone: ***-****
Suncom line - *****


After reading that I probably needed anger management. I wrote back to him and told him He WILL respond. He can do it in response to the E mail, or we can do it in person, not safe , or in front of everyone in class, not safe. BUT HE WILL RESPOND, and there WILL be an apology. The "I just don't feel I need to respond." After the BS E mail when I was suspicious!! He WILL respond. I will make sure of that.

CJ

Take a deep breath....and try to calm down.

I know this is difficult. I know that you are angry. Believe me, we all know how you feel.

In situations like these it is nearly impossible at times to discern the truth.

I don't know your story, I am new to this particular forum, but I can say that in my experience dealing with OW/OM is not a good idea. I would encourage NO CONTACT. That means no contact between WW and OM, you and OM, or WW and OM's wife. Cut it off. Insist that it end here, forever and right this very minute. For your own sake and the sake of your marriage. There is nothing good that can come of it.

You and your wife need to deal with eachother regarding YOUR relationship, and only YOUR relationship. Bringing the OM and his wife into it will only make things infinitely worse.

I would suggest that you take a walk, a lot of deep breaths, and a good long while to clear your head. It may also help to speak with your doctor about an antidepressant to help you deal with things more calmly and clearly. Right now you are wandering throught THE FOG. You deserve to see things clearly, and you may not be able to do that by will alone.

Have you thought about counseling?

Remember, nothing gets solved through hatred and anger. Take the upper hand and take care of yourself, don't put so much of your precious energy into the relationship of WW and OM.

This will be difficult, but you can do it.

Deep breaths, chin up, and remember that this, too shall pass.

Good luck.

Wow Intruder, what exactly is your full story?? Who is the OM?? I mean why do you have to see him so much?

-Caren

I did that....I called the other man Out when I found out he was hitting WW,,....Where did it get me......Well WW went to police and tryed to get a restaining order against me.....went to leagal aid and they sent threatning letter to me telling me to stop stalking WW and abuseing her.......He should have got this letter....He runs into house and looks even better in WW eyes....I look like the real jerk....even though he hits her.......go figure.....

Hey Caren,

I think you can get my story in my topics:
Help please...... and

HELP! Where to get Plan A, Plan B?

Or just click on the number of posts at the bottom of my post and it will show you all I have written.

TMA,
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I would encourage NO CONTACT. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have been in contact with OM for a year since A. at least once a week, mostly twice a week. It has been an impossible situation. If I let myself think about the A I would have to walk out. He WAS my sons Tae Kwon Do instructor. We quit the class recently and I feel deep resentment, anger and more hostility than I have felt through this whole damn thing.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You and your wife need to deal with eachother regarding YOUR relationship, and only YOUR relationship. Bringing the OM and his wife into it will only make things infinitely worse.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My wife moved out a year 14 months ago. She has no contact with OM since the end of last December and little contact with me and our 2 boys 14 and 5. She had another PA the night before easter day. That seemed to be a ONS, with some clown from her past. She is SO not the person I have known for the past 15 years.

Frank, thanks man, but I (after more than a year) feel I need some sort of closure. This [censored] helped to ruin my life! He doesn't feel he needs to repond??!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> YEAH, RIGHT. He will respond.

good luck with that----your gonna end up with a restaining order against you and then your sons will really have problems....

CJ - The OM is obviously doing some damage control to save his a%%. He has probably told his wife that you are crazy. You are wasting your time being angry about him. Don't give him the courtesy of talking or responding to him.

The way you are headed, you will end up in jail. Stop thinking about him. It can be done. It is time for you to move on with your life. Just chalk this whole thing up to experience. I know it is hard to do, but you won't get any satisfaction from this low life.

What are you doing to care for and nurture yourself?