I work midnights and all last night I was really depressed. My WW/STBXW went downstate to a conference and I just had that "gut feeling" that we have all grown to trust, that she was with him. I cried on my way home from work and hoped a car would cross the center line and take me out. I am not suicidal, but if a freak accident happened I would not be dissapointed. I have not gone to bed, I normally sleep when I get home, instead I have been drinking. I am feeling down. Maybe I should just go and lay down.

My Life Sucks <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Am I

I know exactly how you feel. There has been many a times I thought the very same thing driving home from work.

This is such a horrible thing to go through, and if it helps any, I'm going through it right with you hon.

Please let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do for you.

Why don't you e-mail me, we can talk.

c_mcmannis_68@yahoo.com

Caren

No more drinking when you feel this way! Please take care and don't let this situation take you down. You know that tomorrow you will feel better. Try this instead, take your cares and concerns to God. When you feel hopeless, when you start to turn to alcohol to drown the pain start praying. He will answer your prayers, He is faithful always.

Caren, thanks. YGM

FF, You are right. I should turn to God. That may help. The alcohol helps temporarily though. I know it is wrong, my boss even mentioned something to me recently that fellow employees approached him because they were concerned about my drinking.

<img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Well, 7 beers is all I had in the house so I had to turn to the Blue Maui schnaaps. Yuck!

Oh well, it had to get drank sometime.

Ok, I know you know this already but alcohol is only going to make you feel worse. ARe you on AD's? Mixing AD's with alcohol is really a no no. First things first, quit drinking and do something positive for YOU. Keep venting, we are here for you.

Yeah, I'm no Lexipro. I also found some kalua, and now am drinking that and I don't even like coffee.

Sometimes I wonder why I want my WW back. I mean, she seems to bring out the worst in me.

Do you remember a few months ago when BP almost killed himself by mixing AD's and alcohol? Stop now! Do you have a trusted friend you can call to come over and stay with you?

No I don't know who BP is. I could call someone over, but trust me I have tested the Lexipro and alcohol and I am nowhere near the limit I know I can reach. I have had close to 20 beers and been fine (other than drunk, not that I'm proud of my tolerance or anything, but just saying I will be alright). Thanks for the concern.

I'll be alright, I think...

ok, look you have people here who care. All I can do is gently suggest you stop drinking and either sleep it off or call a friend to keep an eye on you just to be safe. I know you are hurting, please just take care of you.

Alright. I appreciate the concern. I will go to bed after I finish this Kalua and cream. (1/2 glass) I'll be fine. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> It is nice to know that someone cares.


Thanks

Do me a favor and check in when you wake up just so we know you are ok. Sleep tight. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Will do. Thanks for the concern. I'll be fine, but again, it's nice to know that someone is concerned.

Am I

You've Got Mail

I have been married 9 years, and I've also tested the whole alcohol/antidepressant thing out too....although I wouldn't advise it.

This is an impossible situation isn't it? I mean you hurt so bad it feels like you have a rock on your chest for a while, now I no longer have my rock, it has been replaced by something far weirder. When I lay in bed and try to sleep, it feels like every nerve ending is firing, it almost feels electric, and I can barely stand it, I imagine gathering up all this, what I can only assume is negative energy, and sending all the OW's way.

I hate that you have to go through this. I wish that no one had to know what this feels like. And that the one who is supposed to love you, protect you, is the one that you have to protect yourself from.

There are days when I just need to be held so badly, and the only one that can do it is my WH, and he's the one that's causing the problem, and would definitely not be interested in hugging me.

Make sure to let us know when you wake up.

I'm praying for ya' dear,

-Caren

Am I-

I have to get into the shower and go to the evening services at church, I should only be gone a total of a couple hours (including shower), but I'll be back to check up on ya'!

-Caren

Thanks for all the concern. Unfortunately, or fortunately however you want to look at it, I woke up. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I am alive and well and as a result get to go to work tonight! Yea!

Thanks for checking in. Have a good day at work. Remember, tomorrow is another day.

Yep, except this is kinda like my tomorrow. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I do feel a bit better. Didn't sleep too well though. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hey, should I ask my WW if she was with OM last night like my "gut" tells me or should I just leave well enough alone?