My STBXW wants sole custody of our 3 young children. She tried to claim abuse on my part and we had a psych eval. It came back very positive for me and he had no problem recommending Joint Legal for me. But my W is still fighting for sole and is willing to go to trial.

She has been very spiteful to me and I have not seen my kids for 4 months because she obtained an order of protection which the judge acknowledges was excessive. She refused phone contact at her leisure and even Christened our baby daughter without even telling me.

What do you think the chances of me getting the Joint Legal, not Physical, are. They sound great since this seems to be the norm these days but I'm still worried that the court may side with her as the mother. Any thoughts and experience with this? Thank you!

What state do you live in?

I am not sure of your situation, of who has done what, except what you posted above.

But generally, I do not see any reason why you would not get joint legal custody. The only time that isnt granted is in an abusive (meaning you abused the kids) situation, or where you are an alcoholic or drug user, etc. If that isnt the case, then I doubt you have anything to worry about legal custody.

My wife pushed for sole custody when we went to court, while I went for joint legal and sole physical. Guess what? We got joint legal and I got sole physical custody! Now, the kids had been with me the whole time, and she had left for awhile, so that helped.

But again, I dont know your situation, but you should be fighting for sole physical also, if you think that your wife is not going to provide the kind of environment that your kids should be raised in. Just one thing you wrote above I think could be used against her. Her christening your child without you present is a BIG no-no!! One of the things judges look for in custody disputes is which parent will best allow the other parent access to the children. So, you need to document EVERYTHING daily. Every interaction. Everytime she doesnt let you talk or see them. That way, your attorney can show what kind of mother she will be and how she will undermine your relationship with your kids.

Without more info about you, that's about all I can say right now. I hope that helps.

In His arms.

Hi,

Not to be too big a downer, but in the states I've had experience with, joint legal custody doesn't mean squat. I have joint legal custody, but that doesn't mean that christening your child or other such important events can't happen without discussion. It means she can't make any huge decisions without you, but that doesn't amount to a whole lot. It's different than joint physical custody. Is that what you are shooting for? That's harder. Judges don't like splitting kids evenly between homes. They think it's too hard. If you can be the primary caregiver then go for physical custody (if it is separate from legal custody in your state...might want to check). You just get this one shot so don't worry about court. It's harder to change later (believe me I know, I spent a lot failing).

If you can't get joint physical custody (both parents spending equal amounts of time with kids) or physical custody (in which case you will need to get child support from her), at least get a ton of visitation time. In addition to seeing your kids more, which is always a good thing, you won't have as much child support (don't know if this is universal so need to see applicable laws in your state)

But your main question is difficult. I think judges are still swayed toward the mother. But that is changing slowly. It kind of depends on who has been primary caregiver up to this point and whether either of you have bad reasons for not being the primary caregiver. The joint legal custody I don't doubt you'll get, but it doesn't equate to a whole lot, at least in my state.