Two years, from, let's say, the "cessation of affection".

Divorced at some point in that space.

To wait for two years, to give the A that long to fail, and then for the WS to reach out for reconciliation...

Is this length chosen as a rule of thumb because the BS needs that much time to grieve properly so that a new R can be pursued without unwanted baggage?

Or is it because the A might take that long to end, and it is only after such a wait that the BS can walk away saying he did everything he could?

Two years is a long time to be deprived of companionship.

I'm not going to wait that long, personally. What about others?

GC

I really don't know the 'reason' for the 2 year time frame..as I am not a pro here.

BUT, I can say that I can and will not wait that long. I think about 1 year without any R hope is as long as I am willing to wait.

Danielle

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by graycloud:
<strong>I'm not going to wait that long, personally. What about others?

GC </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">There is no right or wrong decision ... only decision that you could live with. I did officially 6 months of plan A and then 6 month after plan B I countered petition to end my status. I was Dv'ed 3 months later. Looking back, I have no regret. Now, her R with OM is showing cracks big time. I could be in plan A and win her back. However I don't like the price no more <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> plus helping her going through withdrawal <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> .

-rh-

Gray,

Kids make a difference. I will pursue my timeframe as the potential for reconciliation continues to decline, and the list of my boundaries continues to grow. I have little faith in my WW to pursue the hard, hard work in creating a new relationship with me. She likes taking the easy way out...the affair is merely an extension of that. Now that she has exposed my children to OM I also question my ability to forgive her.

Having said that, do I miss the companionship? Yup.

I will wait until the divorce is final to date, but not much longer than that. I have no interest in having a serious relationship right away, but a nice dinner with bottle of red and an attractive woman is appealing and a nice change from eating over the sink in my sweats. The timeframe for a divorce once initiated will be relatively short as all property and parenting responsibilities are already spelled out in the separation agreement.

I will not expose my children to these "dates". They are confused enough and that will be exacerbated once WW reveals or they figure out her "friendship" with OM is more than that.

As far as reconciliation after the divorce.......Not even a consideration.

EDITED TO ADD: I'm not sure I answered your question now that I re-read the title so: I doubt it will be a full 2 years from the start of this mess.

<small>[ January 11, 2005, 11:48 AM: Message edited by: Binder ]</small>