Ok....I got an email tonight...well, this time it's a response to my counter petition. I don't get this man. He's lost his mind. He honestly thinks he's going to get out of paying back child support. What is it going to take for him to "get it"?

He's saying that he will give me his share of the house as my back child support. WTF????????
In the next sentence he tells me that he won't be able to pay back child support until the house is sold and then he wants to split it. HUH?????????????????????????????????????????

BIG GIGANTIC 2X4 COMING RIGHT AT YOU !

Why on EARTH are you still reading his emails ?
You keep trying to make sense out of something irrational.

His behavior is that of a man living in the chaos he created...and here you are...trying to keep up with the drama.

Divert all email to your attorney.

Set up a mediator to deal with your son's issues, in case of emergency etc....and go DARK. No contact with him. Think of him as a venomous snake.

I know, I know!!!! I haven't responded and don't plan to. It's just driving me nuts!!!! I hate how he tries to justify everything. Uggghhhh!!!!
I'm so over this!!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by TreeReich:
<strong>
I'm so over this!!!! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sadly you are not. Not untill you stop living the drama and reacting this way.

Block his email address.
Right this second.
Keep moving FORWARD.

I know that with you being in the middle of this..it's difficult to see outside the box...but he is doing a hell of a number on you.

He's trying to do a dance... such his explains his last email...bout the dissolution of the marriage...blah blah blah...this is his feeble attempt to make sure he doesn't get taken to the cleaners...which is EXACTLY what he deserves...
and I am really NOT an antiXH advocate...just with your STBXH <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

No, she needs to keep getting his e-mails. They are about info the lawyer needs to see. What she can do is mark them as unread and forward it to her lawyer..... that way she has a copy of his actions. He is setting himself up for a fall and she needs proof.

The hard part will be for her not to respond.

TR, you need to decide what is worthy of a response and what is not. Plan B is about you. Once you are strong enough to handle his tricks.....you can resume the contact. This time your responses will be tempered instead of emotional.

R U ready for it?

It w/b better if the lawyer gets all this kind of info. Let them decide if it is babble. Right now their verdict will have greater meaning in the eyes of the law.

JMHO,
L.

Tree, I don't want to 2x4 you too hard, but I think there is something not good for you in the way you're dealing with all this.

Your continued engagement with WH seems to serve nothing but fuel your righteous anger. Since you have repeatedly stated that you don't want to reconcile with him, then what purpose does this contact have? If all it does is serve you rage you can dine on, then I think this is not a good thing for you. It's clearly not communication that needs to be going on. The things you share don't have much to do with "necessary" information exchange.

What do you think?

GC

<small>[ January 10, 2005, 11:18 PM: Message edited by: graycloud ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He is setting himself up for a fall and she needs proof </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Of what ?


At this point, I think it's all the same stuff...just more and more of it.

They shouldn't be contacting each other at all.

That is why TR is paying for an attorney. To protect her. Let the attorney handle it.

BiNJ,

She will not have anything to send to her attorney if she rejects his e-mails.

The proof is what is currently happening.....

If she rejects his e-mails, he could make the claim that she is not cooperative and that could hurt her chances when this goes to the judge.

She needs to show she allowed communication but due to the nature of the D (A related), she found it difficult to communicate directly with him and hence forwarded his e-mails to her lawyer.

JMHO,
L.

Orchid is right, if the emails are blocked then there is no proof that this WH is slightly (or maybe more than slightly) off his rocker. You can never do better than letting a man (or woman) use their own words to hang themselves.


Hiya Orchid.

Hi Bozo'sDeb,

Howa doin? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Great to see you posting. Can really use your help. This board is overflowing again. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Aloha,
L.

I agree, I think she should continue to at least receive/print out the e-mails. It could at least show his current state of mind.

Tree, I know they probably infuriate you. They just seem like pitiful babble to me, of a man who is sinking deeper into his eventual undoing.

Just my opinion - as we know legal stuff is not my strong point.

-Caren

Ouch! I'm dodging the 2X4's!
Well, actually I talked to my attorney and she said I need to keep a line of communication open if only through email. I have not been responding to them. Actually I just read the email last night and laughed.
If I block the email he will just stick a letter in my mailbox or stick a note in my son's overnight bag.
I get frustrated reading the emails but it also proves to me that I don't want to be with this man anymore. In a strange way it helps me. Make sense????

I do understand what everyone is saying....I truly do!

tree
a judge is gonna look at these and think WTF and question his sanity and wonder if this moron even deserves unsupervised visitation.

you may get lucky and he will be committed <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

LOL....one can only hope!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

::holds up shield to block 2x4s :: Makes perfect sense TreeReich , you need proof of the insanity and you do need a way to prove that you are not blocking him. Looks good to judges when an ex tries to say * well the mewan old ex wouldn't even let me talk to him/her about _____
(fill in the blank with kids, dogs, paint drying on a slow day, whatever madness bubbles up through the fog in their minds at the moment)

Orchid I'll try to drop in a little more often when I can.

Tree:

My recent experience in Florida D-court tells me the following: Since FL is a no-fault state, the emails will have little to no impact when it conncerns you & WH. Unless you 2 agree to something diferent; the assets/liabilities will be split based on incomes. (Always, double-check any information you get on this board with your attorney!) However, this information will be essential if WH decides to pursue custody of your kids. God-forbid that happen, but anything is possible while the alien is present. Be sure that WH cannot access your email account and delete or make changes.

You're a passionate person, which is a great thing! (I am too!) But your intensity can work against you in this case. Please be sure you're taking time w/friends and/or with yourself to do things that allow you to keep a clear head. It's easy to get consumed by all that is going on and lose sight of the big-picture. Make time for you w/o your kids as well as time with them. Fun right now is good - and needed. You'll see things much clearer after dis-connecting from it occasionally, so please take the time. Good Luck!

FR

<small>[ January 11, 2005, 10:28 AM: Message edited by: TreeReich ]</small>

Fishracer....you are probably right about the emails but my lawyer still wants me to keep an open line of communication. The only reason I do is for my son. I would rather not talk to WH so if there is anything that we need to discuss about our son he can do it through email......that's it!!!!! He is the one that keeps sending all the crap. I usually don't respond. I have responded to a couple of them in the past.

I just don't understnad why he thinks he's not going to have to pay back child support. Since you are in FL also....can you maybe shed some light on this?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I just don't understnad why he thinks he's not going to have to pay back child support. Since you are in FL also....can you maybe shed some light on this? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Have you been to mediation? Unless something is or has been negotiated otherwise; he will have to pay the back CS. I'm surprised that he is questioning this; unless OW has convinced him otherwise! Good Luck!

FR