Many folks talk about how "venting anger" is an important part of healing and getting some of these things out....but the majority of psychologists don't agree. I wanted to at least offer some other perspectives about "venting" as food for thought.
The first is from Psychology Today:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">RESEARCHERS SAY: Pillow punching, like other forms of vigorous exercise, might be helpful for stress management, but recent studies suggest that venting anger may be counterproductive. "Venting anger just keeps it alive," says Brad Bushman, Ph.D., a psychologist at Iowa State University. "People think it's going to work, and when it doesn't, they become even more angry and frustrated."
In addition, several studies show that the outward expression of anger leads to dangerously elevated cardiovascular activity, which may contribute to the development of cardiovascular disease.
Bushman recently put the so-called "catharsis hypothesis" to the test, deliberately inducing anger in a group of college students by marking nasty comments on essays they had written. Those who slammed a punching bag afterward were more, not less, aggressive to people they subsequently encountered.
WHAT TO DO INSTEAD: A better tack, says Bushman, is to do "anything that's incompatible with anger and aggression." That includes watching a funny movie, reading an absorbing novel, sharing a laugh with a friend, or listening to music. Given time, your anger will dissipate, and then you'll be able to deal with the situation in a more constructive way.
Though Bushman has found that exercise can actually heighten physical arousal and keep anger alive, other studies have concluded that sustained strenuous activity might indeed release anger and improve mood. And nontraditional exercise programs like tai chi, yoga and stretching may not only dissipate negative feelings such as anger but make people more conscious of their mood states, paving the way for them to do something constructive about them.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Dr. Harriet Lerner from "The Dance of Anger"
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
Let us question these questions. Anger is neither legitimate nor illegitimate, meaningful nor pointless. Anger simply is. To ask, "is my anger legitimate?" is similar to asking, "Do I have a right to be thirsty? After all, I just had a glass of water fifteen minutes ago. Surely my thirst is not legitimate. And besides, what's the point of getting thirsty when I can't get anything to drink now, anyway?"
Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention. We all have a right to everything we feel - and certainly our anger is no exception.
There are questions about anger, however, that may be helpful to ask ourselves: "What am I really angry about?" "What is the problem, and whose problem is it?" "How can I sort out who is responsible for what?" "How can I learn to express my anger in a way that will not leave me feeling helpless and powerless?" "When I'm angry, how can I clearly communicate my position without becoming defensive or attacking?" "What risks and losses might I face if I become clearer and more assertive?" "If getting angry is not working for me, what can I do differently?" These are questions that we will be addressing in subsequent chapters, with the goal, not of getting rid of our anger or doubting its validity, but of gaining greater clarity about its sources and then learning to take a new and different action on our own behalf.
There is, however, another side of the coin: if feeling angry signals a problem, venting anger does not solve it. Venting anger may serve to maintain, and even rigidify the old rules and patterns in a relationship, thus ensuring that change does not occur. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This last one is from a long time poster Moth:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I do empathize with the fear that unless we vent and keep our anger and fear perpetually fresh and raw, we won't be able to keep the goblins at bay, those monstrous bullies who fill our nightmares with all the things that were done and said that hurt us and cheated us of what we wanted and needed. I do understand the panicky feeling that says, if we don't vent with every ounce of strength we've got, the floodgates will open and the bullies/goblins will annihilate us. I, too, have worried that if I let my anger or fear or apprehension slip, that I might not avoid, but actually encourage the behaviour that led to my being violated the first time.
But we can't control every encounter, every crisis, or rather, we WON'T control it, because of our need or impatience or greed. Yes, there is such a thing as a greed for respect, a greed for a wrong to be righted, a greed for fairness and justice. We know it is greed, because greed does not satisfy. And if we capitulate to this greed, we will be seduced into living in a nightmare world of lack, of frustration, and of powerlessness. I say, "seduced" because this nightmare world, unlike the world that offers at least a chance of happiness, does not burden us with the requirement to take action. Taking action is scary, for it offers no certainty, whereas the nightmare world does. Certainty can be comforting, so comforting that we can be drugged by the comfort into forgetting that the certainty we have sold our souls for is only the certainty of more pain.
We can't go back again. Often I have looked upon this reality with frustration, until I remember that this inability isn't a bad thing, that's a wonderful thing! We don't need to re-feel and re-live the pain over and over again, we can step out, into the sunshine, into the light. It is time to forgive ourselves for the greed for justice, but also time to let go of it! There are better options out there.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think all of the things are taling about a "pattern" of venting as a way of dealing with anger as opposed to the occasional primal screams we might bellow out in a closet. Using an infrequent vent to let off a little steam is probably reasonably healthy....but don't drop anchor there.
