I've been plan Aing for almost 3 months now. WH (37)has not seen OW (19) outside of work in 3 weeks, but still has cell and e-mail contact. Thought he was weening at a normal-like pace. I've been meeting EN's as much as he's accepted, we've still been having sex, sometimes sleeping in bed together, and occassionally "spooning" on the couch.
Today, after reading a note I left him before I left work, he sends me an e-mail that reads that we've made some grounds but his feelings are not what they were (fog tells him that he loves me but he's not in love with me....for 2 years now). As much as he's enjoyed our "fun" lately, he thinks I "take things the wrong way" and he's decided to impliment plan B.
We have a typical neo-family, 5 kids all together his, mine, and ours....so there's a lot of scheduling. Anyway, his idea consists of making it easier for the kids (3 and 5 year olds are ours together, 13 year old is mine and we have him every other week, 10 year old is his and we're supposed to see her every other weekend but it hardly ever works that way, and 9 year old lives states away and we see him scattered weeks throughout the year) he wants to come by every night for dinner and play/hang with kids and then leave. We would take turns on the weekends to be with kids. He'll be moving in with a mutual friend (who hates idea of OW and already said she will not accept her open arms) just 10 minutes from our house. Plus, our finances and whatnot will remain in tact.
He still says he's hopeful for the future and "with any luck, in time things will be back to normal".
Sidenote, WH mother lives with us and watches the 2 youngest every day. We're all on the mortgage and there's a whole list of joint and seperate accounts for all of us.

Feedback?? Is this a plan B? It sounds reasonable, but I don't want to be walked on.
Any comments will be greatly appreciated.

R U ready for plan B? Doesn't sound like it. Do you know what plan B is suppose to accomplish?

L.

WS doesn't get to implement Plan B.

There should be bells and whistles going off all over the place for you.

Here's a summary of his real plan..

You get to keep the kids, and my mother..and I'll have my own little private world.

So what if OW isn't allowed at his new "place" his time is now his own, to come and go as he pleases.

Bells...whistles....

Read up on Plan B.

Because I see it coming down the pipe..and it's nowhere NEAR what he THINKS it is.

I'm sorry..I don't mean to sound so harsh.

This just has bad news written ALL over it.

I figured as much. We've discussed a plan B in the past, thought it might happen twice already but it never materializes.
His fog must be thick!! Last night he came up to bed with me, said he still cares so deeply for me and he felt so badly that I was hurting (I was crying all day/night..must have hit my emotional wall, because I just couldn't stop).
How aweful is this? After a while laying in bed, we had sex and then cuddled through the night.
Until he actually starts packing, don't know if he's going through with plan B.

Thanks for the input!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> he wants to come by every night for dinner and play/hang with kids and then leave. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is not Plan B at all. This is being a cake eater, having his single life and stopping by to be a family man.

If you are in Plan A, this much contact may be good, giving you the opportunity to meet his needs.

However, Plan B is no contact at all. You do have an ideal set up with his mother there, she could easily be your intermediate person.

If at all possible in separation he should have set visitation outside of the house. It's part of reality. He chooses to move out, there are natural consequences to that action, one of those things being you can limit his access to the house he has abandoned.

If he is seeing her at work, then he is still seeing her. Things won't get better until he does not see her.
He (very, very likely) wants to move out so he can see her without worrying about getting busted by you.

As much as he's enjoyed our "fun" lately, he thinks I "take things the wrong way" and he's decided to impliment plan B.
The person having an affair cannot go to Plan B. They just implement Plan I (Ignore).

He'll be moving in with a mutual friend (who hates idea of OW and already said she will not accept her open arms)
He's moving in with a female?

He still says he's hopeful for the future and "with any luck, in time things will be back to normal".
Things don't get back to "normal" by separating and having no contact. It takes very hard work on both your parts.

<small>[ January 12, 2005, 12:12 PM: Message edited by: Chris -CA123 ]</small>

MommyC

Has your WH read the MB books??? What the hell is he talking about he's implementing a plan B. The only think a WS implements is Plan "Head up my own @ss".

This situation is strange, I don't know what he's playing at.......what does his mother think of all this?

I don't even know what the heck to say....your post is confusing.

-Caren

I'm just as confused. She's disappointed in him. She and I talk about it nearly daily, her and her now deceased husband went thru this so she knows exactly how I feel. She was just as stunned as I was - we had the picture perfect life until 11-04-04. She thinks he needs to leave in order to see how he really feels. Only reason for daily visits is 2 young boys. I don't want to yo-yo their emotions as well. If Daddy doesn't want to save M then "plan B" will change, but for now I guess it will be a separated "plan A".

{{sigh}}