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<small>[ January 12, 2005, 08:20 AM: Message edited by: KiwiJ. ]</small>

Now if you had asked where are the wise and kind people who sit waiting patiently to help you as they listen to soft jazz, that would be...

better.

Jenny,

I am here for just a few more moments and then am heading home. What is up?

JL

Jen, you did right IMO. Prayers for you.

JL, this is what I just posted.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Idiots,

I've just seen OM. We bumped into each other at our local shops.

We did talk. I needed to know that he and his w are doing ok after Rob told his w and they are. I needed to know that she doesn't hate me and she doesn't. I will tell Rob I saw him and he is going to tell his w that he saw me. They now have a policy of radical honesty and they don't even know about MB. His w was going to call me, not to yell or call me names, she just wanted some answers. I said, tell her I would have told her that he was never going to leave and he said, she knows that.

As to how I feel after this - glad I got some loose ends sorted (that they are fine and together), glad they seem to be following MB principles without knowing about MB.

Is it back to first day of NC? Nothing like it. I'm waiting for Rob to get home and I can't wait to see him. He really is the only man that matters.

Well, guys, what's your take on this.

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Jen

South Pacific night shift idiot.....reporting 4 duty. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Ok Jen, what do you want us to tell you? Seems like you and Rob have a plan and you implemented it. Is this like putting closure on this sitch?

L.

Yes, closure. Horrible word. But, yes, that's what it was. I REALLY needed to know they were OK and they are. Not how he was and was he thinking about me. Amazing how they've followed MB principles without even knowing what they are. I have a feeling his w has read the books.

Jen

{{{.}}}
Always, always remember: the Lord works in mysterious ways. Here you are, in the middle of your sons "adopted" (sic BP) tragedies and He shows you His mercy! Not belittling the pain your son and his family and his friends' families are going through, but through it all, He also shows mercy and comfort--and closure.

Glad to hear Rob was compassionate about this. You are a lucky woman. Heck, any FWS who's BS makes a real attempt at recovery is blessed--they didn't "have to." This of course includes me too. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Orchid, I don't know what I wanted people to say. I just needed confirmation, I guess, that I handled this the right way.

You have no idea how peaceful I feel. So glad my H is who he is, so glad we (H and I) have got through this.

Liny, did the paper plane ever make it?

Jen

We did talk. I needed to know that he and his w are doing ok after Rob told his w and they are. I needed to know that she doesn't hate me and she doesn't.
Jen if you 'needed' those things you have a whole lot of personal recovery left to do IMO.

If Squid 'needed' those things from OM I would be gutted.

All blessings to you and Rob. Its my guess Rob's gonna need blessing.

I hope Rob takes it better than I would.

{{{Jen & Rob}}}

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by KiwiJ.:
<strong> Orchid, I don't know what I wanted people to say. I just needed confirmation, I guess, that I handled this the right way.

You have no idea how peaceful I feel. So glad my H is who he is, so glad we (H and I) have got through this.

Liny, did the paper plane ever make it?

Jen </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My dear Jen,

Wish all the requests here were as simple to help as yours. I am quite proud of both of you. I have never personally posted to your H but it touches my heart to know that you both have achieved that level of honesty where even the touchy items can be handled and your recovery can continue to make positve steps.

For us, I was asked by the then Xws to accompany him to court. PBR filed false RO abuse charges and he was upset. As hard as it was, I sat in court and kept my composure. The one wriggling in her seat was the OW. She waddled up there with her large binder (copies of their e-mails) and a cassette player and tapes of their phone convos. She was and is a nut. I had to pinch myself not to laugh and realize that H was serious about never dealing with her again. The RO was served but the judge said it was because both were bad for each other and she was NOT the victim.

My point is that it should have been a trigger for me but you know what? Later on our way out, OW passed right by me near the doorway..... didn't even notice her. H was worried I would freak out.... something kept me very calm. I had MB, RH, POJA and God on my side. What else did I need? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

All the best to you and yours.

L.

If OM spoke to Squid and I found out about it I would damage him I SWEAR.

Rob is far ahead of me in BS evolution. FAR.

Congrats !

Hey Jen - I just saw this.... will take some time to read before replying... hugs and prayers to you until then...

Semper Fi,
RIF

Bob, you can see how tough this has been.

I had an "exit" affair. When I very first posted to you I said I was happy because Rob and I had recovered and you said "I'm glad for you". You had NO idea what we have been through. That's not a 2x4 in any way. People here see the "recovered" Jen and only a few people like JL know what Rob and I went through.

Do you know what it's like to love Rob more than I love anybody on this earth?

I'm at peace now, Bob. I needed tonight and I've been waiting for it.

Sheesh, I'm glad this isn't on I-ville. It sort of needs to be a separate post.

Jen

jen I can only imagine your struggles in recovery.

Your life and love are testamanet to the efforts you BOTH have made ! Your are my role models in many ways , you and Rob !

But if squid 'needed' to know that OM was safe and well and not badly affected by the actions he chose I would launch nukes.

BS need FWS to not give a sh1t at the very least. Apathy if not antipathy.

If Squid cared about OM ( I know she prollys still does now) bit after a year I'd feel worthless. Useless. Lied to.

Rob doesn;t , he's a hero. MY hero ! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Jen I am thrilled this has been a what you two needed. I perhaps shouldn't have posted that it would be my nightmare huh ? Sorry darl'. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I am happy for you two honestly.

BTW did u tell Rob u bumped into OM or that you also needed to know he was OK and his W had forgiven you ?

Bob, maybe I'm misunderstanding Jen, and she will certainly correct me ( <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> ), but:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If Squid cared about OM </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I really don't think it's so much about the OM, then the OM-W. The way I'm seeing it and it's just my perspective, is it's that one last thread of guilt that needs "closure." Jen?

Yes, Bob, I told him the minute he walked through the door.

It's not OM that I want recovered, it's his wife. I knew her very well when we were all "young marrieds". My father signed her documents so she could study in NZ. (She's not from NZ). I spoke to her at length when OM's father (the b*st*rd) died. I like her. I was overwhelmed that she doesn't hate me.

I've had far too much wine tonight. My son isn't home from the funeral yet but, Bob, Rob and I are fine.

Jen

LINY, its cool. However I interpreted it, its given closure to Jen and Rob. Thats what is important nothing else.

I have an unrealistic need for Squid to wish ill upon OM. She may never and if so we will nevr recover. I cannot have goodwill towards him in my life.

I am not heroic like Jen or Rob. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Jen, its good that an innocent party like OM W is OK. Its great that she doesn't hate you too.

Its a tough day for your family Jen. Be calm and revel in the love in your house.


{{{jen & Rob & Family }}}

Liny, yep, I hadn't read your post but I sort of answered it anyway, didn't I.

It's his w. It's the guilt I feel for his w. She is a lovely, very nice person.

Shoot, stop me posting after too much wine.

Today was unbelievable, first the funeral, which I didn't attend, I didn't really know them, but I know they were very close to my son, then this.

Jen