Often these statistics are quoted:
60% of all men and 40 % of all women will sooner or later have an affair.
Now it takes two to tango. True, there are prostitutes. And there are homosexual affairs. But still most males will have to find a woman to have an A.

Is the message in these statistics that the unfaithful men each have only 1 affair, but the unfaithful women each have several affairs? Are there lots of women that have affairs with married men when they are still single, but later turn faithful when they marry? Or are the women less honest in the surveys?

Can anybody explain these statistics for me? Can anybody explain to me why experts keep citeing these statistics without even discussing this discrepancy?

I really hope I am wrong, and that women are more faithful then men. That is closer to my gut feeling. But how can they be? It takes two to tango!

<small>[ January 12, 2005, 04:45 AM: Message edited by: Frank57 ]</small>

I really hope I am wrong, and that women are more faithful then men.

Why do you hope that women are more faithful than men? I'm curious.

Frank,

I think the stats are for married men and women. So 60% of married men have affairs and some of those may be with single...not married women. Technically, those single women are also indulging in infidelity....but because they aren't married....they don't show up on the stats.

Double post, see next! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ January 12, 2005, 01:10 PM: Message edited by: Frank57 ]</small>

Dear Weaver!

I'd like to keep my illusion of the pure and beautiful <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Starfish!
Thanks for your answer. So women turn faithful in respect of their own marriage, but are not respecting the marriage of others when they are still single? My illusion is cracking anyway. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Spoken like a true gentleman! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

statistics are worthless, IMO. Very misleading to say the least.

<small>[ January 12, 2005, 12:21 PM: Message edited by: NotOnlyWords ]</small>

There lies, damn lies, and then there are statistics. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Once got into a heated discussion with a woman on a plane about a statement she made. It was then a often quoted "statistic" that when divorce occurs men's income increases while women's declines. This study commissioned by a woman's group at the time has since be found to be bogus on many levels including playing with the numbers.

Nevertheless, I looked at this woman with some distain and asked: "Name one company that gives raises to someone because they divorce." She of course she could not name one. I then asked her if having two domiciles, more child care, more of everything, and including child support was cheaper than just one domicile, less child care and someone to help with chores and repairs around the house? She answered "well the later of course."

I then looked at her and said, then you cannot possibly be dumb enough to believe that anyone gains in a divorce. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I mention this because the stats on marriage are very strange until you enquire as to how they are acquired. You have no doubt heard that 50% of marriages fail. It might be true, but if you ask about 1st marriages, 2nd marriages, 3rd marriages, 4th marriages, you get a different picture. Still not great but very different.

The sad truth is that by any measure the women's stats on affairs are gaining rapidly, probably due to the reason men's are where they are...access to other people, and the time to endulge in them.

I am reminded of the stats now being quoted by our education board in order to get a parcel tax passed. I am all for education but I may vote against it because I don't like lying much nor playing games with numbers. If one has a solid case for the money, the "games" should not be needed.

Oh, just to confuse the affair statistics, I wonder if they asked the people admitting to having an affair in the marriage, how many times they have been married. So if they cheated in two marriages does that count as two "yes'" ? You never know with this stuff.

JL

any new numbers on this?

I think that even if statistics confuse things, when you have very high or very low numbers, it still gives a good indication of what's going on.

Multiple marriages? Your best chance of success is with your first marriage. 2nd, 3rd, etc marriages are much more likely to fail. People who find sites like MB or people who understnd they need to change themselves might be the exception, but I think that generally, people just go on and don't really do anything to change themselves and find themselves in another bad relationship scenario.

Income level? I still think that's generally true. While your salary may not increase, I think men generally have more disposable income after a divorce--ESPECIALLY if the woman was a stay at home mom/wife, put off her education to raise kids, etc etc. It is still generally true that women are the main caretakers of the children, are the ones who sacrific more career/education wise, etc. This necessarily will affect their income in the event of a divorce.

Infidelity statistics? What I've read about the 60/40 is that it's considered to be a conservative statistic, that the percentages are likely higher. It makes sense that women are gaining on men in this area with the advent of internet and women working more and in higher power jobs.

It's always good to take a statistic with a grain of salt, but it's also good to not disregard it and see what information it can provide to you. The infidelity statistic is good to know for any future relationship I might have. I did NOT protect this marriage..but now that I have the tools to protect my next marriage, you can be sure I will use them--especially because of keeping this statistic in mind.