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Joined: Jul 2004
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I don't really know if what I am having now is a gut feeling, or what!
I THINK I feel (or see) a very slight change in WH's attitude toward me.... I don't know, maybe just a feeling....
It's been three weeks since WH came back after I Plan B'd him before Christmas. I don't think he has ever stayed away from OW (at least to talk to her) for that long of a period.
Could he have broken contact?
Am I jumping to a conclusion? Is it my gut?
With all the other emotions and feelings (anger, etc.) that I have been feeling lately, I'm totally confused in knowing if the feeling is just me, or is there something there?
I know I should talk to him about this, and I will. But, I just need to hear from someone how you distinguish between your feelings, when so many feelings seem to be popping up out of nowhere.
Any help????
Confusedly Yours,
K
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Joined: Jul 2004
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K,
Trust your gut but wait for evidence. That is my motto. Hope you are wrong.
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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Steve Harley once told me to assume there is contact if you do not have evidence that there is not.
Why is he back after your PLAN B without a NO CONTACT LETTER and ALL SAFEGUARDS against continuation of the A?
As are so addictive. There have to be safeguards put up and complete openness between you two.
I'm just speaking from my experience with false recoveries, a highly addicted FWH and my strong belief in the value of PLAN B...
Also I learned to follow my gut, especially after a long-term marriage.
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Joined: Jul 2004
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Thanks for your replies......
I've learned to listen to my gut since D-Day.
Right now I'm having a problem with it since I'm getting so many feelings just blind siding me out of no where.
I want and MUST HAVE total honestly. This is also where my conflict avoiding self wants to leak back in....
I AM STRONG, AND I'M GOING TO STAY THAT WAY!!!! (self talk)
K
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Joined: Mar 2003
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Ditto everything Mimi said.
Trust your gut.
(Your H is still addicted. He may have needed his fix from her.)
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,142
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You got it Trix.... Go forward, not back. STAY STRONG!!! (more self-talk). Stay true to yourself....more self-talk!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> K
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Joined: Jan 2004
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k...
Here's the deal, the emotions you feel right now, they should be pretty clear. Feelings of anger, sadness, rejection, those are all pretty expected...
Your husbands job is to make you feel safe. That is all he has to do right now...if you don't feel safe, he's not doing his job. That is really what it comes down to...and you should confront him on it...not on whether he has broken contact or not...just tell him you feel unsafe on where you are. If that doesn't shake him, then I'd say you have a husband that is still not intune with the marriage. If my FWW told me she felt unsafe, it would rattle me, and believe me, I'd be franticaly searching for a way to fix that problem.
Try that avenue...?
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Joined: Jul 2004
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Sounds like a good avenue....
Thanks Rook
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