I have a question about crying. Here's my scorecard:

* Uncontrollably for a week when the sparrow left.

* Hard, and often, from when she said the "D" word, until my ADs started to work. The dark time, panic attacks, all that.

* Months later, on my birthday, after receiving a card from my MIL. Until I passed out. Could barely breathe.

* Once in a grocery store just before Xmas.

* Sunday, when I listened to a recording of johnh39 and his W speaking at their church.

I wish it happened more often. It feels like a bloodletting, but it's such a relief.

What are all y'all's tricks?!

GC

I sure wish I could cry more often.

If there is a trick I'd like to know about it.

Noodle

Now I need to be BACKWARDS of your request. I need to cry LESS. Maybe if we combine ourselves genetically we can cry the perfect amount?
J/K <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Danielle

Combine ourselves genetically! Dani, keep up that talk and JustUss'll come after you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

GC/currently not crying

Certain movies are guarenteed to make me cry. If I am alone and have a need to cry, I will put one on. I love that you want to cry more, GC. Just confirms what we already knew, that you are a kind, sensitive man. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Try the music from *Phantom of the Opera,* especially "Remember Me" and "All I Ask Of You."

" . . . anywhere you go, let me go, too . . . that's all I ask of you . . .
<img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Oh yeah, sad movies FF they get me too.

I never cried for about five years, started crying when I realized a short while ago that he was broke, and nothing I did would ever change that. That was when I started crying.

Going to church usually gets me bawling through the whole service. Really a drag if you happen to forget your tissues! It's a good way to get the minister to notice you though, and then he always wants to talk to you after. Might be why I have been avoiding church lately.

Oh and signing up for that dating service really got me going.

Other than that I feel great! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Just think really, really, really sad thoughts Gray, that should bring on a tear or two. No just kidding, don't do that.

Ok, call me a cornball but...the end of "Its a Wonderful Life" I always cry when Harry Bailey says "a toast to my big brother George, the richest man in town!" Also the end scene of "The Way We Were" when they see each other in NY and really hug and you see the expressions on their faces. Ok, GC now everyone knows what a sap I am. LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I have not been able to have a really good bawl out since the last time he visited. I tear up now and again, but I need an earthquake..not just a little fault movement! It is very soothing to just cry like a baby and let it all out.

Movies can make me cry, but not bawl.

GC,

Read my post here. It has helped me cry and get it out. I understand it's like a bloodletting, but yet a relief. I feel drained when I am finished but I am nowhere near as angry with my WW and her BF as I used to be.

MIF?

gc:

for cry movies, Finding Neverland must be the best.

I almost couldn't stop. Happy stuff and sad stuff.

Tremendously good movie, by the way.

-ol' 2long

For me, I think the word might be keening. Irish, I believe. Intense grieving, crying, vocalizations and hair tearing associated with funerals.

When WH and I went to our first MC appointment, everything was positive until we got in his car to talk a little more. At that point, it became apparent that he'd lied through the entire session, had already made some important decisions without me and wasn't willing to work on anything.

I left his WH's car in blinding tears. I'm still not sure how I made it home. I cried, rocked, screamed, made the most primitive noises. I was a complete and total wreck. I sent my DD out of the house so she couldn't see me. Now, that is crying. I'm glad I don't do that too often.

Play some sad songs or look at photots of you and WS. That always gets me crying!!!!! I also ran across my wedding album, which I had hidden way. I cried my eyes out. It does make ya feel better. I'm sick of crying though!!!!

GC when I used to need to make myself cry I recalled noble events. Like the NYFD ladders who refuse to empty the lockers of their comrades whos bodies were never found, or when the Last Post was played by an Army bugler at my FILs funeral in the rain.

And theres a story that always fills my eyes up too. Can't write it I'd cry ! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
What a wuss I've become.....

I only cry if something makes me happy, or if something makes me sad. Other than that, I seldom cry.

GC, you big sap, I bet many of us cry more than you, and some of us cry less. It does seem to clean our our souls, and be good for us most of the time.

I am always amazed at the topics that come up. Life is fun, Life is hard, life is sad, Life is good.

Thanks,

SS

Weaver,
Go to church anyway, and if you need one, I have a cloth hankie, one of the old fashioned kind, I can send it to you.

SS

Hi GC,

I don't really cry that much anymore but I also haven't smiled that much either,only around my girls.I'm afraid these permanent frown marks are going to appear one day.

I only cry now when my WH is around me,talking to me,usually about dismantling our marriage.Anything that has to do with that right now is a big trigger.I find that when he is away,I do much better which is why I knew way back when that I could not be friends or in contact after the D.It just tears me apart.

Sad songs don't usually make me cry anymore either but I don't listen to them anyway.I stay away from even remotely sad/infidelity like movies and basically just read now or talk to my girls/friends/family,etc.

I don't feel like I haven't cried enough,I know I did for months in the beginning and thereafter.I have just "moved on" to another stage I suppose.Bah,whatever.

Hope you are doing ok.I'm trying to keep up with so many stories and I am sinking in posts.lol Oh well.

O

edited for those pesky typos again

<small>[ January 13, 2005, 08:37 AM: Message edited by: Octobergirl ]</small>

O, I'm reading How Can I Forgive You? It's pretty good for addressing some of these matters - how a decent person can banish a person who has harmed her from her life and remain a decent person. If nothing else, the book does seem to give me some peace every time I pick it up and read a few pages.

Doesn't make me cry though.

And no way am I looking at my wedding photos. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

GC

I can't cry, either GC. I think it's a combo of the zoloft and that I'm just plain ole tapped out. I figure I'm due NOT crying for the next few years.

I don't even cry at sad movies anymore. I mean...watched Steel Magnolias at Christmas and didn't even sniffle.

Oh, but I did almost break at the $100 Store (aka: WalMart) shopping for my dwh for Christmas. Then I thought, "Horse's-you-know-what!" and bought something for me, because I'm a good girl and this Santa knows it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

GC,

I agree, there is a lot of relief obtained through the whole weeping/unbearable sadness attacks. I have tried to use some triggers that work for me , but they have become less successful.

I guess that phenomena is called acceptance.