I called WW this morning and I told her that I miss her ... I think, I am stupid by doing that, I am stupid... I dont know what came up to me but I called her and said that I miss her

I don't know your sich, but I have done the same thing. Told the WW I missed her or that I loved her and then went "STUPID, STUPID, STUPID" (slaps hand on forehead at the same time).

MIF?

I don't know your story, but you saying you are feeling stupid caught my attention.Don't feel stupid, you are hurting, and it may not be the best idea at this time to tell WW you are missing her, because she is probably still in a fog and it makes you look needy. But you definitely should not call your feelings stupid. I remember calling WH and telling him things, hoping they would change the situation or change him, that a magic light bulb would come on. But it just doesn't unless that person chooses for it to.

<small>[ January 12, 2005, 10:54 PM: Message edited by: adgirl48 ]</small>

Rescue Me,

Did you?

Miss her, that is.....

Why did you miss her so much that you HAD to call her? (What prompted it?)

I'm not up on your sitch, are in you in Plan A? B?

Don't kick yourself for being honest with her. But examie your methods and make sure that it is working towards your goal....


Ethan

It's been almost 6th months that we are separated and I dont know why or what trigger me to call her and say I miss her but after saying it I realize that I shouldn't say it because she still in the FOG and sounds like she close her door for me. I think, I am still inlove with her but, there is no way that we can get back together...

Ok, now that you have bashed your ego upside the head....now what?

You ready to go back on the self improvement track so that if at the very least you will give off attractive vibes? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

L.

Orchid,
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> You ready to go back on the self improvement track so that if at the very least you will give off attractive vibes? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes, but for some reason its been about 2 weeks now that I couldn't sleep again and she is always in my mind. Is this normal? I thought I got through this from not sleeping, but here I am again cannot sleep. Redhat advise me to get AD medication but I dont like taking medication at all. For some reason I feel I miss her so much.

Orchid,

I lost 40 lbs and used to be 38 and now 33 pants size, I work out everyday and I think I look good right now my body is forming to look like Macho man (smile)

I pray everyday and night when ever I think of her, I call my daughter everyday too and talk to her on the phone 3 times a day.

Orchid, It's been 6 months that we are separated and she never filed for DIVORCE and I dont know why I never ask.

Hon....I feel like calling my WH EVERYDAY and telling him I miss him, miss him talking to me, kissing me, holding me. As of yet I haven't done it, but I'm sure he knows I miss him....but it's hard to control the urge to do so. Don't beat yourself up.....so you miss her, it's what you feel....doesn't it get old not saying what you feel???!!!

It's alright, I'm sure no damage was done by those 3 little words, it's not like you were on your knees weeping at her door, you simply said you missed her, may have made her think.

-Caren

CarenMc

I think, I did make her think and she tried to call my cell phone, she made it RING once and hang up shows Her Office number missed call. I didn't return her call.

I guess, I better stop thinking of her... Its hard to do it but I need to focus on something else. Thank you CarenMc

I miss my H but not my WH all the time. I miss talking about things. I miss sharing things about the kids and incidents that happen.

You are right! she is not my WIFE she is WS thanks for the reminder. thank you

<small>[ January 13, 2005, 09:29 AM: Message edited by: Rescue Me ]</small>

You are not alone.

Yesterday I woke up at 4:30 in the morning in a panic , drove to the house, and woke him up because I felt like I couldn't go one more minute without seeing him and telling him that I love him.

Pathetic.

I have never been able to act, and he knows it.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Rescue Me:
<strong> You are right! she is not my WIFE she is WS thanks for the reminder. thank you </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Good morning Rescue Me:

When I read your user name, I want to start singing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

So with the above thought in your mind, it is helping?

As for the backslide of emotions, it does happen periodically. IMHO (I am not a professional), when your heart and mind are not in sync, most BS have this happen. When your mind and heart sync up..... it will lessen with a sigh of relief.

You will still miss your W but you will miss your W not and realize that if she is the WS, you don't miss the WS. This will help squelch the reason to speak with a WS. In other words, you will view her as 2 distinct characters and have the courage to stay away from the WS.

You will get there. That syncing thing takes time. That is why it is critical you work on strengthening yourself. When you do, you will hit a turning point and then your mind and heart will sync up.....your recovery will be set firmly in place. You will be able to handle the ups and downs the WS throws at you and bounce back batter.

You will also learn to babble back and give them back their guilt.

L.

Orchid,

Thank you so much for all your advice and I am getting through this slowly, I am just tired being alone in the house and all I do after working in the office when I get home all I do is work out and work out. I am starting to look good I think (smile) I can say used to be ugly duck and becoming a swan. Orchid keep in touch my yahoo messenger screen name is heartiswounded4ever

Rescue Me,

I certaily understand how you are feeling. One of the comforting things is to know that your feelings of despair are temporary......short lived at best. In other words you will work out how all this is affecting you. As you excel in your personal recovery you will hit other stages. When the anger one hits.... you will be fuming. For some it is uncontrollably so. Like a lightbulb goes off in their heads and they (BS) begins to feel used and sometimes dirty for all they and their family has been through.

Again, that is one of the stages. Please read my link about the 5 stages of grieving. It may help.

Can you do phone counseling with Steve, Jennifer or Cerri? Probably w/b good for you.

Also if you are up to posting your general location, there maybe some MB guys close by to help you. Finding that closer support system c/b another positive item for your pocket. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I am not good at the IM thingy..... will look into it.

take care,
L.

Shul,

Its just hard that when we get married our body and soul became one and when we separated from our partner it feels like our body and soul is torn apart and it feel painful. We are not used to this kind of feeling anymore, But I am sure someday this is a good lesson for us and help others on what they are going through. I think God wants us to feel this way because he has plans for us. Someday we can get through this painful feelings and we will able to help others. Let take this as blessing from God and this is a test of our life. We can only get through this once and it will never happened again, Trust me... Just always pray to God and he will lead us the way. God Bless...

I cant control my self again from thinking of her, tears came out of my eyes again and cannot even stop it, its like a bucket of water that over flowing that cant even stop it. Well I let it all out while its flowing now I fell good again about not calling her at all. Please rescue me and lock me up so I will never ever able to call her at all.

Rescue,

The best thing for you to do right now is cry it out. Whatever way your body needs to release your pent up frustration (at least in a safe and legal way). <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Do you need someone to talk with right now? Not sure who all is available but if you want some MB H's to talk with, we can see what we can do.

Let us know. ok?

L.

Orchid,

I am sorry but, I am ok again after letting all the pain out and Cry out all the painful feelings. I am feeling ok again, I am back to normal again. Thank you for being there and all the Mbers. The reason it trigger's me on crying is missing her so much, But I have to hold my feelings to my self cause I don't want to feel stupid again after talking to her on the phone.

I think sometimes you have to close your EYES, cover your EARS, and bite my LIPS just to get through this feelings.

1. I don't want to SEE anything...
2. I don't want to HEAR anything...
3. I don't want to SAY anything... to her at all.

I know it's really hard to do it, but I will keep going and WS is not the one I miss right now. I miss my wife, I hope someday we can meet again and be together again. I will never stop praying to GOD and find the direction of my life.

Thank you so much ORCHID, you are very helpful...

God Bless you...