My H is trying to expedite our divorce so he can marry the OW. They have been living together for six months now (since our physical separation). I know that there have been occasions where the BS realizes that s/he has made an awful mistake after marrying the other person and comes back to his/her first spouse. I'm not holding my breath - I'm doing everything I can to move on. However, I am curious if this situation does, in fact, ever occur. Our marriage was, by both our accounts, wonderful. That is until he met her and her kids. At that point, he said he realized what true love was (can we say LUST?) and that he never had loved me in that way. He loved me as his best friend (we had ten years of pretty good sex for best friends). Sigh. Anyway, any knowledge of remarriage after divorce would be appreciated! GS

let me ask this, would you want him back after putting you through this hell?

I for one can't wait for the day my WW/STBXW comes to me and tells me she made a huge mistake and wants me back so I can tell her to get bent.

Not there ...
We divorced on 05/04 ... been fighting for my xMarriage (??) since then ...
WxH lived with OW from 02/04 - 08/04
I'm not ready to end this yet.

I seperated in July of 03, went back home in August, she divorced me in November 03. My XW told me in early January 04 that "she made a big mistake". My response was " You sure did".....and I pushed away. When I realized my error it was too late. I alreay rejected her. I did tell her that the "door was always open" and I backed off for months. Around my 40th b-day she asked me out for dinner with our children and we talked after.

I knew of her long EA during our marriage. I never knew she had a PA prior to that. D-day was after we decided to try and reconcile. Regardless I was devastated. However, my marriage was over. There were reasons for that. Did I still love her? Yes, absolutely. As time passed we have come to realize that what we have is special. We have given each other a second chance and in a lot of cases it's been wonderful. We both had "significant others" after our divorce (her's was that damn EA...and was actually much less signifcant than my relationship with someone else- REMEMBER WE WERE DIVORCED!!) so those demons occasionally rear their ugly head. But all in all we found that we're soul mates and right now we're both "playing for keeps". We're talking about marriage...and I plan on selling my house in the spring and moving back in. the one common theme that we have is that "Divorce is not an option" but more importantly is the fact that we will not allow each other to behave as we did before...that is not an option....

So yes, it does happen...rarely....Did either of us think it would? No way.....

Wow! No one knows what life holds in store. I sure never knew this was going to happen so the future is filled with amazing possibilities. To answer the question about would I want my H back... right now, the answer is yes. I had ten fabulous years and 10 crappy months. I'm looking at this as a mental illness on his part in a way -a very serious MLC if you will. If he had shown any signs of being irresponsible, unkind, unfaithful, etc., EVER - it would be different. He met this woman and it literally was like he was besotted and possessed. Our M Counselor, his family, and his friends cannot understand it. At any rate, I'm not sure what I would do in a day from now or a week from now. I'm doing everything I can to move on and get a little better and happier every day. The one thing I do know I want is to have the option of trying again, or not trying again. I just can't stand the thought of him and the OW living happily ever after without him realizing what a terrible mistake he has made. May not be politically correct - but this is really how I feel. I'd love to hear from more folks who have recovered after the D...

My 1st W was the WW. After 19 years of living like she didn't care or want me, she left us and we divorced.

I moved on with life with the kids. After a few years, WXW wanted to return. I thought she was just looking for free room and board between affairs and rejected her. She has been through 4 or 5 marriages since and is now living alone.

After 5 years, I married my present W and we are happy. The mind boggoling part is that W#1 is still trying to break us apart.

I do not know what would have hapened if I told W#1 yes all those years ago. But to answer your question, they do return. If you want them back is another matyter.

My 1st W was the WW. After 19 years of living like she didn't care or want me, she left us and we divorced.

I moved on with life with the kids. After a few years, WXW wanted to return. I thought she was just looking for free room and board between affairs and rejected her. She has been through 4 or 5 marriages since and is now living alone.

After 5 years, I married my present W and we are happy. The mind boggoling part is that W#1 is still trying to break us apart.

I do not know what would have hapened if I told W#1 yes all those years ago. But to answer your question, they do return. If you want them back is another matter.

That's pretty amazing. Can I ask you how long ago did WW #1 actually leave and how long did it take you to get over her initially? Also, I'd love to hear more stories! While all the statistics say that the A relationships are very, very unlikely to last long-term, I seem to only hear about the ones that make it. In my case (and I know I'm repeating myself), I can't stand the thought of my H and the OW living happily ever after together in the wake of the lies and destruction that they've left behind. In the meantime, I am taking care of me and, to prove it, I'm off on vacation as we speak. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Keep writing - it really helps... GS

It's very long and complicated, but the "jist" of it is written in my sig line.

P.S. GOD DID THIS!!!!!!

Check out the posts of hopeful_person -- or is it hopeful person?

Here is an update post from hopeful_person. Her story is truly remarkable in that SHE was the WS! If a WS can stop an A, pursue her BxS for two years (Super Plan A) and remarry, ANYTHING can happen.

If God wants it for you, nothing will stand in the way of your reconnecting. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Getting_Stronger:
<strong> That's pretty amazing. Can I ask you how long ago did WW #1 actually leave and how long did it take you to get over her initially? Also, I'd love to hear more stories! While all the statistics say that the A relationships are very, very unlikely to last long-term, I seem to only hear about the ones that make it. In my case (and I know I'm repeating myself), I can't stand the thought of my H and the OW living happily ever after together in the wake of the lies and destruction that they've left behind. Keep writing - it really helps... GS </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I feel the same way. I started a poll somewhere asking if the how long it took for the WS's affair to end. So far it's not looking very good. Most show that they're still going on, but I guess they could still be new affairs.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by dleightonc:
<strong>

If God wants it for you, nothing will stand in the way of your reconnecting. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Oh D, I wish I could truly believe that. I mean God hates divorce so doesn't that mean that in most cases He wants marriages to stay together?

And what about my husband's free will?

God may want us to reconnect but if my husband refuses - God isn't going to force him to come back to us and work on our marriage.

Sorry I didn't answer sooner.

I was married to W#1 from Dec 61 to Jun 81. There is not enough room to go into the whole horror story.

In 1968-69 she asked for a legal seperation in order to 'clear her head.' She asked me back when she found she was pregnant with OM's baby. Since we already had two children, and I didn't want any other man to be any kind of father to them, I raised the baby as my own. She is now a mother herself, and I love her and family.

In the fall of 1980, W#1 again decided she wanted out and left us. By that time, I was worn out from her actions and filed for divorce. Even though my head told me this was the best thing, my emotions ran amuck. I didn't start to really come out of it until about the time our divorce was final on 2 June 1981.

A few years later, she was between boyfriends and asked to return. I said no.

I married W#2 on 26 October 1985. To this day, W#1 tries to use the now grown kids to break us up. Whenever we drive from where we now live in MO to San Diego to visit children and grandchildren, W#1 makes sure she shows up.

I hope this helps someone. Like I wrote before, to write of all the things W#1 pulled while we were married would fill a book.

<small>[ January 15, 2005, 07:44 PM: Message edited by: RAG ]</small>

Sorry I didn't answer sooner.

I was married to W#1 from Dec 61 to Jun 81. There is not enough room to go into the whole horror story.

In 1968-69 she asked for a legal seperation in order to 'clear her head.' She asked me back when she found she was pregnant with OM's baby. Since we already had two children, and I didn't want any other man to be any kind of father to them, I raised the baby as my own. She is now a mother herself, and I love her and family.

In the fall of 1980, W#1 again decided she wanted out and left us. By that time, I was worn out from her actions and filed for divorce. Even though my head told me this was the best thing, my emotions ran amuck. I didn't start to really come out of it until about the time our divorce was final on 2 June 1981.

A few years later, she was between boyfriends and asked to return. I said no.

I married W#2 on 26 October 1985. To this day, W#1 tries to use the now grown kids to break us up. Whenever we drive from where we now live in MO to San Diego to visit children and grandchildren, W#1 makes sure she shows up.

I hope this helps someone. Like I wrote before, to write of all the things W#1 pulled while we were married would fill a book.

<small>[ January 15, 2005, 07:44 PM: Message edited by: RAG ]</small>

Thanks, Ronald. I{m sorry you had to go through so much with W number 1 but am glad you found W number 2 and have made it work. I am still unconvinced that anyone knows how my particular story will work out. I believe my H{s attraction to the OW was as much for her children as for her. He is in the biggest fog I{ve ever seen. Perhaps he{ll come out of it perhaps he won{t. Only time will tell. In the meantime, I{m moving forward in the best way I know how. It simply makes me sad to think that the types of relatinoships that My H and the OW are having could possibly end up happy.

There are a number of restored M's that you can read about at REjoice Ministries

I have been praying for my husband to repent before God and get right with Him and to restore our M.

Only through God can forgiveness take place.

My God is bigger than my circumstances.

D.