They're having fun on I-ville and I didn't want to interrupt them.

Bob, you haven't offended me in the least. It was what I needed to hear. If I didn't have the insight of people like you I would be floundering around.

You said in a slightly different way, exactly what Rob said and it was only talking to you guys the other night that I realised that I had made a VERY big mistake and that I had been given some tools by all of you to make amends as best I can.

What really hit home was you saying that NC is NC not "NC is NC unless the opportunity presents itself." How could I have been SO stupid? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Bob, you're wonderful. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Jen

Yeah, yeah I'm wonderful... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Recovery's a journey that can take years Jen. You told me that. Don't expect too much of yourself.

You are doing wonderfully well but you're bound to have 'new lessons' to learn as you close out your recovery. In a years time Jen you won't be in a great recovery, you'll be in a great marriage.

And who on here would want any more than that ? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

{{{{jen & Rob }}}}

How come we hear on these boards how wonderful we are, but yet our WS don't realize that?

Things that make you go hmmmmmmmm

Jen, I read your comments in I'ville. Its clear you two have a machine for processing 'happenings' now which is fantastic.

I am happy that my post to you was useful to you both. I am SO GLAD you didn't take offense.

Like I said , in a year you wont have a rgreat recovery, you'll have a great marriage. And thats just about perfect.

{{{jen}}}

And a bottle of 'dog' to Rob. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Bob, I couldn't take offence at the truth.

Who'd have thought you'd be helping ME out. Cool, how this place works.

Glad Squiddy's ring was so well received. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Jen

Jen the ring was really well received. It was so the right thing to do.

Rob and you stagger me. That you can process badness into love in the way you do is priceless and a template I'd love for Squid & I.

Today is an 'I think we'll make it' day <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I never knew how much she loves me again Jen. She is inarticulate at saying such but today I was, well, humbled by it.

I feel like its been worth it today.

I'm off back to bed for a bit more kip and a cuddle. See you later darl'

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

See ya, Bob,

BTW when Rob was reading your post I had to say Bob means he loves me in an internet friend kind of way and we laughed. Rob said "I realise that."

Rob's not used to forums or the friendships that come from them.

I have to say this was a pretty big blip on the recovery radar screen but when I think back to the early days after d-day, it was nothing.

Jen

Hey Jen - Don't want to thread-jack, but would you please let me whack Bob about the head and shoulders for a bit???

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Bob wrote: Today is an 'I think we'll make it' day </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">BOB - You stop this "I think we'll make it" stuff...

You and Squiddy WILL make it... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Semper Fi,
RIF

You and Squiddy WILL make it Amen, RIF <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

RIF & FF, I am no being pessimistic just realistic. I'd GUARANTEE we'd make it if I was prepared to put up with the M we had before Squid's affair.

But I won't settle for that now. And I have the confidence that if I cannot be completely safe and TOP priority in Squid;s life, we won;t recover.

Day to day life is lovely right now.


I'll do all I can to recover our M except eat sh*t like I have for years of conflict avoidance.

And the hurt might be too bad for me to ever hold a healthy R with anyone again. I dunno. We'll have to see.

But thanks for your prayers and confidence !

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Bob Pure:
<strong> But I won't settle for that now. And I have the confidence that if I cannot be completely safe and TOP priority in Squid;s life, we won;t recover. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hey Bob - I agree 100% with you... about not settling for what you had.... But think about turning your last statement around a bit... it could be something like:

"I have complete confidence that I will do everything that I can to make our M comepletely safe and a top priority in MY life."

Remember Bob - You can't control Squiddy's thoughts or actions, but as you've seen these past couple of months, YOUR actions DO have an impact on her and your M...

Semper Fi,
RIF

<small>[ January 17, 2005, 08:01 PM: Message edited by: RIF ]</small>