BTW, my husband is being oddly nice to me today.....I think it may be the vicodin he's on 'cause he got his tooth pulled...LOL!!!


-Caren

Hi CarenMac,

“There is a certain stigma to having to go to this group, ya know, it's not something I am proud of, I wish I was stronger than this.”

I’ve had a breakdown and been in lots of therapy, including an outpatient group. We often used sarcasm and humor as a way to cope, but I just wanted to tell you that it takes strength to go for help when you need it.

Forget about “stigma” - it’s nobody’s business but your own. I worry more about people who don’t/won’t go for help than those who are strong enough and do go for help.

Sorry for your troubles. Hang in there. You’ve been doing great finding out what your resources are (pastor, group, anger management course, etc.). Don’t hesitate to use them to take care of yourself!

God bless,

Rose

BTW - You can edit a post by clicking on the little pad and pencil icon at the top of your message (the one you want to edit). <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Rose-

Thanks for the support and for telling me how to edit, I HATE typos, but ya know in here, in the heat of the moment when I'm furiously typing I tend to make them.....appreciate the input and the assistance <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

-Caren

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by CarenMc:
<strong> BTW, my husband is being oddly nice to me today.....I think it may be the vicodin he's on 'cause he got his tooth pulled...LOL!!!


-Caren </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Now there's an option. LOL!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Just kidding. Too bad he needs drugs to help him be nice. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Well just keep your distance.....like any drug the good effects wear off quicker than the bad ones.

L.

Hi Caren --

I don't know if I've posted to you before, but I want to say I disagree with Committed's comments about your going to your meeting with "unstable people, go me!" as you scoffing at anything. Actually, according my pyschistrist, it is a classic way normally bright people use humor to work through emotional distress and illness. My pyschiatrist told me it is a sophiscated response to trauma and of tying to pull yourself out of your depression and handle the terrible things you have to handle. Don't let go of that. Hold it tight. It helps keep you strong.

Take care,
Shellybird

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I know I go about things all backwards, and yes I have left my husband numerous times and our house was filthy....I can acknowledge my mistakes. I can't change the past, all I can do is be a better me in the future. I have a temper (anger management is one thing they want to work with me on in group). </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">So..asking again... WHY did you leave him numerous times?

Was there other men?

You say you have a temper...maybe it would be a good idea to get that taken care of...with an anger management program...not just simply in the group.

I'm sorry caren...I think that there are lots of things that you need to fix with YOU.

Fixing them and then trying to cram it down his throat to make him take notice defeats the ENTIRE purpose. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

When you are successful at fixing those things...he won't be able to ignore them. They will be obvious.

JMHO
committed

Committed-

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> So..asking again... WHY did you leave him numerous times?

Was there other men?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No, this has been years ago, no NEVER any other men, I had undiagnosed depression, something my doctor said was akin to a female MLC (apparently they happen earlier for women...I was like 26ish). I was unhappy and just assumed I was unhappy with him. I feel incredibly guilty about it, and if he felt even 1/2 as bad as I'm feeling now, I deserve to go through this.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> You say you have a temper...maybe it would be a good idea to get that taken care of...with an anger management program...not just simply in the group.

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have to do the group thing on Tuesdays and Thursdays, anger management is part of the program also, but it would be on Wednesdays. I have hidden nothing from these counselors, I told them that I definitely have a problem controlling my anger, and I don't like it, I want to work on that, anger is like a cancer, and it will eat me alive.


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I'm sorry caren...I think that there are lots of things that you need to fix with YOU.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You are absolutely correct in this observation, I have tons of things to work on, which is why I've taken a leave of absence from work, to work on me. I know that the shock of what's going on in my life right now has brought a lot of things to the surface that have needed to be dealt with, hopefully I'll be able to get myself straight.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Fixing them and then trying to cram it down his throat to make him take notice defeats the ENTIRE purpose.

When you are successful at fixing those things...he won't be able to ignore them. They will be obvious.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I understand this. You are a very wise person committed, and I welcome your constructive criticism. Thank You for pointing out these things, as it's blatantly obvious, I'm flying by the seat of my pants here.

Thank you again,

-Caren