I usually post in the Pregnnacy/Child board, but I really want to know opinions on this latest change of attitude from WxH ...
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Spent New Year's eve with WxH ... no signs of OW ...
after a lot of thinking, I decided to do Plan A until March ... never did it before ... found MB after knowing about OC ... too late to do Plan A ... tried Plan B ... too painful ... understand why you should not do Plan B without doing Plan A ...

Anyway, I proudly can say I've been tear free since 12/27 ... how many days ... 17 days!!!
until last night ... I felt overwhelmed ... WxH has been at the apt every day for the last two weeks ... very nice and cute ... no talk about relationship or OW or OC, just enjoying each other and DD ...

But last night I felt all disoriented again ... deja vu feelings were there again ... felt he was cake-eating again ... called him and left him a message that I wanted to have a talk with him about us today ...

Met for lunch ... talked for two hours ... Asked him to be honest, not cruel but honest ...
I told him that I did not want to pressure him but that I needed to know what was his current relationship with OW, what were his plans with his current apartment (I thought lease expired on December, but it actually expires at the end of February), told him I needed to know what kind of relationship we were having and if there was any future in it ...

Waiting for the alien to answer ... but no! No signs of alien!! at all!!! ... is the alien disguised? keeping my hopes under control and my feet on the ground ...

He said he is not having any relationship with OW ... that he calls her to know about OC and nothing more, he goes and see OC and nothing else happens, no kisses, no hugs no SF ... that she has been harrasing him almost every day about him making a decision and about them moving back together again, he's tired of her constant bickering ... that she was getting tired of him not doing anything (hey! welcome to my world!) ... then he said that the only thing he knew for sure was that he was not going to get back together again with OW! ... then he said that he wasn't sure that he wanted to move back with me (ok, I asked for honesty...) ... Plan A into action! ... I told him that I didn't want him to ... I asked him if he had any feelings for me ... he said that he loved me, but that he wanted to have his mind clear before moving back together ... he said that he knew how much I suffered and that he destroyed me once again this last time (6 weeks false recovery) and that he understood that it was his fault ... that he did not wanted me to suffer again for anything he's done ...


Is this another alien? is my H back?


I told him then that I didn't wanted him back, that I felt that we needed to get to know each other again and if there was any possibility of us to start dating again ... the two of us ...
he said yes! ... he said that he has been thinking about that too ... that he was going to look for a cheaper apt, probably a one bedroom thing for six months .. if six months was enough time for me? ... I told him that that was perfect. That I did not want to go through all the things of last year, specially he cake-eating with us, that I did not want to go back to what we had when we were married since that led us to his affair ... he said he would continue go to counseling and at the end of the six months we will see where we are ...

Is this a new alien!?!?!
How should I take all of this without feeling all giggly and hopeful??

Hi Mily. I'm sure you'll get more in depth responses but, looking from the outside...
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">felt he was cake-eating again ...</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Your gut is usually right, right? Proceed with caution.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I told him then that I didn't wanted him back, that I felt that we needed to get to know each other again and if there was any possibility of us to start dating again ... the two of us ...
he said yes! ... he said that he has been thinking about that too ... that he was going to look for a cheaper apt, probably a one bedroom thing for six months .. if six months was enough time for me? ... I told him that that was perfect. That I did not want to go through all the things of last year, specially he cake-eating with us, that I did not want to go back to what we had when we were married since that led us to his affair ... he said he would continue go to counseling and at the end of the six months we will see where we are ... </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think you have your head on pretty tight with a great plan in place!
Best wishes!