I need OW to take my WH in for good. I am tired and already talked to my wh about Div. He's begging for chances but still sleeping with her. Everytime I get him out of the house he stays in his semi-truck but will not permanently move with her. How can I get him out for good with her so they can start "enjoying" the "happy life" they want so much and leave me out of their mess? I am soo tired. Maybe this ends up being just a vent post for now but I do want out of this. Too tired. Thanks for listening! Love

<small>[ January 14, 2005, 12:43 PM: Message edited by: love of a lifetime ]</small>

How is emailing OW part of the MB plan?

You have admitted to not following a plan and you are giving up. It sounds like you are scrambling for threats and manipulations, anything to control the situation. Time to control yourself.

Read about Plan A and Plan B and begin to come up with a clear plan for YOU and how YOU want to be in your M.

As someone quoted Dr. Phil on here, "Have you *earned* your Divorce?"

I planned A for 6 months. WH lied and still have the A with OW.

Tried Plan B a couple of times and failed at NC plus WH will hang around the house and never leave for good like plan B should.

It takes two to fix the marriage.

WH wont leave because things will get too complicated for him. I need to give him that push out of the relationship because he is not getting the point of how much he has hurt me and will not leave me but will also stay with OW and I can not allow that to happen anymore.

I am too tired of trying and planning. My Plan A was good but can never get plan B right. I really want to move on. I have earned my divorce or at least I see it that way. Do not take me wrong cause I did wanted to save my marriage and only ended up putting up with garbage and lie after lie but I can not fight no more. My strenght is not there. Only the wishes of what it could have been, but not strenght to fight no more.

If I could come up with a decent plan B and follow it... how in the world do I keep him out of the house, my life, etc. Help me please!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> How can I get him out for good with her so they can start "enjoying" the "happy life" they want so much and leave me out of their mess? I am soo tired. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is really not as difficult as you want to think it is.

The answer is simple...

When you are REALLY REALLY tired of it... you won't let him back in..like the revolving door he's been on.

What reason does he have to stop seeing either of you ? You both let him back into your good graces with no consequence, and no boundaries.

When you reach the point of TRULY being too tired.... you'll understand Plan B..inside out...and implement it without too much trouble.

I wish M23B was around...she's a PERFECT example of what happens when you wait too long to really implement boundaries. She's give you a couple of words of advice.

Pack his things up, put them in the garage. Change the locks. Then give him a real plan B letter.

Remove his path home and he will leave. He may try to tell you he has no place to go. Be firm about your stance. Tell him you love your H but this Ws character has to go. He is a big boy and can sleep on a bench, in his car, with a friend and if OW is that great, let her meet his needs.

Well something to that effect. He will whine about how much he loves you.....let him know that how he has been treating you is not loving and if he thinks it is, he needs to go read the dictionary and Bible again. Both have definitions of the real kind of love.

I did this to my WS. Kicked him out several times. Kept plan B in my pocket and pulled it out whenever contact was uncovered.

It is his problem in dealing with the A. He got himself in this mess, he needs to get himself out. He can ask for assistance but can't demand it. Also you need to work on strengthening your stance so that when real help is needed then you w/b in a better position emotionally to give it.

JMHO,
L.

I love Dr.Phil.....I know the statement about "earning a divorce" He says not to divorce if you are still angry.....I assume he means there are still unresolved feelings, and that those need to be worked through before you divorce.

-Caren