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Joined: Sep 2004
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In my posts yesterday I said that I was going to remove the voice activated recorder from my husband's phone line, I got MANY replies saying that my husband (I've stopped saying WH because I'm unsure again) is just getting defensive because I'm messing with his comfort zone.
My question is, the recorder has been there since Wednesday...how long do I leave it there??? A week???
The tape is a 90 minute one, I have a fresh one here at home. Do I sneak back in there get the tape and put in another? Or do I just go in and take the whole thing? ALSO...I'm scared to death he's gonna get a wild hair up his butt and start cleaning that room and find it.
Advice PLEASE!!!!!!
-Caren
<small>[ January 14, 2005, 06:21 PM: Message edited by: CarenMc ]</small>
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 633
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I would suggest you go get it now. Check the tape. You may need to 'replace' it...BUT you may have what you need already.
I am assuming they spoke about the whole cell phone minutes of 'her' account, and you may have that conversation on there.
From my experience the WH and OP don't go very long without communication..
Danielle
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Joined: Sep 2004
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So leave the recorder there and replace the tape.....okay...I'm all over it. It's probably gonna have to wait until tommorrow though.....not sure I can get over there before he get's home, and I'm wondering if the neighbors are gonna narc me out.
-Caren
****NERVOUS NERVOUS NERVOUS****
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Joined: Dec 2004
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Caren,
I'm with Danielle, go get it and see if you have anything. If there is an A going on, can't imagine they would not have spoken in that many days.
You're braver than I am. Good luck!!
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Joined: Jan 2001
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Caren, This recorder is to solidfy proof. On going shouldn't be necessary. Leave for as long as you can without causing suspicision. If you can go get it now without alerting anyone and you know they have daily contact, then do so..... IMHO it w/b better to leave it a few more days. What is their communication pattern or what is his irrational pattern. Sometimes a nice WS means there is contact ...... a mean WS could also mean contact.... it varies from WS to WS. Confusing eh? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> But whichever it is, the WS usually follows a pattern. You need to identify his pattern. L.
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Joined: Sep 2004
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Wow Orchid, it's really hard to pin down the pattern, I mean as far as the cell phones were going, it was daily (on his) and at least every other day on hers... (This isn't inclusive of when they call each other from their home phones, can't really find out how often that is) But I guess we shall see.
I would love to go get the damn thing right now, and just replace the tape, but I fear there's nothing on it. Although he may have called her to tell her how his crazy wife was in his house and wouldn't leave and called the police...LMAO, ya just never know.
Since he called her the day that I was in the suicide crisis center....you know to check on his car.....
-Caren
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Joined: Dec 2002
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Why are you saying that you are unsure of an A given that he has a secret relationship with another woman?
He is at least having an EA.
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Joined: Dec 2004
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I would take it out.
It sounds like they talk daily at least.If the tape was a 90 min one pull it out and don't replace it.
If you are not sure about anything, don't push it. You're tape will give you evidence one way or the other.
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Joined: Oct 2004
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Alank, that is exactly what I meant. Maybe I didn't say it well.
I would get the whole recorder. You may need to replace it, but I highly doubt it.
Danielle
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Joined: Dec 2004
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I would go get it and see what is on it. I would think that if there is an ongoing A something will be on the tape by now.
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Joined: Jun 2002
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I would remove it entirely...and work on getting myself mentally healthy if I were you.
You don't need all this subterfuge in your life right now.
You are going to do well to focus on yourself and your own mental health.
JMHO
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