First a little update!

I have been in Plan B for 12 days now! Doing marvelous..except for the few times he has caught me on MSN IM...I have now blocked him.

I have no desire whatsoever to talk to him.

Apparently someone was trying to take pictures of his car parked in front of the OW"s house two nights ago.

He thinks *I* hired a PI! ROTFLMAO! That's funny! More on that later! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

But he still wants to SAVE the marriage! He still wants his life back...

BUT...he doesn't want to burn his bridges with HER just in case it doesn't work out!

hmmm...What do you think the chances of SAVING the marriage are with an OW in the picture? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

well, I am not going to make this long...I just want to let any "newbies" and Oldies know that YOU will survive! with or without your spouse!

Someday you will get to the point where you will realize that you cannot change your spouse, they have to change themselves...

All these people here are correct...they KNOW what they are talking about...

You see, I was one of the MOST stubborn people here...I didnt' want to take any advice that I didnt' want to hear...

Go into Plan B...Oh NOOO, I dont need to go into Plan B...he SAYS he has ended it...I believe him! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> WRONG! Dont believe them!

They are in OUTER SPACE! They just dont get it! Will they ever? Who knows...only they know!

Ok..I wanted to post a song here that I have taken as my own motto now...Enjoy!

I will survive

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to get along
and so you're back
from outer space
I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me

Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive (hey hey)

It took all the strength I had
not to fall apart
kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of my broken heart
and I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
Now I hold my head up high
and you see me
somebody new
I'm not that chained up little girl
who fell in love with you
and so you felt like dropping in
and just expect me to be free
now I'm saving all my loving
for someone who's loving me

Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive (oh)

Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive
I will survive...!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ January 14, 2005, 06:40 PM: Message edited by: Momto3Boys ]</small>

Heyyyy....good to hear that you have finally got IT too!!!

Yes...you tried the hardest here. Glad to hear that you have finaly decided to plan ME.

Take care

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Glad to see your heart and mind r in sync. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Welcome back to earth, mom..... we missed you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

L.

Thanks! I missed planet earth! It's good to BE BACK!

Plan B started Jan 2...Momto3Boys will NOT live a life like she did last year!

I AM happy!

I AM at peace...at PEACE! I am at Peace! I am moving on 4 ME! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Life CAN be good! you just have to WANT it to be!

Orchid, gosh, It's been almost a year since we went to dinner! What a year it has been! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

that was fun...I just wish I had been on EARTH when we met <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> I really am a lot of fun to be around! And my eyes aren't all red and puffy like they were that night! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Bravo!

Cherished

<small>[ January 15, 2005, 04:55 PM: Message edited by: Cherished ]</small>

Oh now I MUST listen to that song!!!!!!


-Caren

Yes, It does get awfully boring...I missed the whole last year of their lives... and I swear I will NOT miss this year!

I just signed DS4 up for Soccer and I will make sure he makes every single game and practice...I am putting last year behind me and moving forward! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Caren, I have been listening to it all day long...go to Kaaza or Ares and download it for free! gloria Gaynor! I LOVE IT!

Also Believe by Cher is a good one! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Good for you! It keeps getting easier and more peaceful in Plan B. You will trully be able to see his actions for what they really are--NO reflection on YOU.

Hang in there--that is a great theme song. Here's to a terrific 2005!

Yeah for Mom!!! Keep up the Plan B and take care of yourself! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Mom,

Glad to hear you are doing well, I have thought of you often and hoped thing were okay for you. You are a strong and beautiful woman and you will persevere. Dad will realize that some day but you deserve better than he has to give you right now.

I wish you happiness and peace of mind. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Cathy

Hi Mom --

It's good to hear you're doing well. I know it's hard, but this will show him that your serious and won't allow his fence-sitting anymore. Did you two decide not to go on the Dr. Phil anymore? Do you feel it helped or hurt?

Take care dear, you've had a LOT to deal with these last few months. Time for you get strong, have some peace, you know.

Take care,
Shellybird

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by shellybird:
<strong> Did you two decide not to go on the Dr. Phil anymore? Do you feel it helped or hurt?

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Funny how you should as about this...They are coming today to do the pre show tapings! It will only be me this time...I dont know if I will be on by myself or with another couple..I told them that I would like another couple on there so I can show them, no matter WHAT, the BS WILL be ok...eventually you have to get to a point that you just have to take care of yourself!

AS far as helping or huring? I think it helped ME tremendously...watching that last show, I really saw what Ed is made of...it opened my eyes so much..That show aired on Nov 18, I left right after the show aired and came back home on the 21st, I kicked him out that night and my dad died 5 hours later.

I think it hurt Ed...he doesn't like to talk about it...oh well! poor Ed! But you know, for him to go on national TV and then go back to her...what an idiot!

I am looking forward to going back this week...I am taking my boys and we are going to Universal Studios...My mom will be coming too! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> And where will Ed be...Oh, he'll be with his OW and soon to be baby girl...poor Ed...what a shame he has to miss a family trip! tsk tsk! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Also Believe by Cher is a good one! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Love that song!!!
Do your boys have PS2 or XBox? There is this really fun thing called DDR have you heard of it?

My mom got it for us for Christmas and it is sooo much fun, the whole family has a blast and then you get your exercise in <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Do let us know the date your show on Dr. Phil will be airing! I'm glad you're going back.
Cherished

MT3B,

Peace. Wonderful peace. I am so glad you have found it. Feels good, doesn't it?

I am very happy for you.

~ Snow

PS Cher ain't got nothin' on Gloria Gaynor!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Momto3Boys:
<strong> Thanks! I missed planet earth! It's good to BE BACK!

Plan B started Jan 2...Momto3Boys will NOT live a life like she did last year!

I AM happy!

I AM at peace...at PEACE! I am at Peace! I am moving on 4 ME! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Life CAN be good! you just have to WANT it to be!

Orchid, gosh, It's been almost a year since we went to dinner! What a year it has been! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

that was fun...I just wish I had been on EARTH when we met <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> I really am a lot of fun to be around! And my eyes aren't all red and puffy like they were that night! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I love this post. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Yes it has been a year..... wow....so much has happened. Now if you want to go to dinner, you will have to fly to Hawaii.... that might not be a bad idea, eh? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Found a great beach to take the kids and let them run free. It is quite safe. Ko'olina has 3 man made cove type beaches with shallow swimming areas. Really nice. The hotels there have to share it with the public but they are picky who they let in.

Glad you are now in a better state of mind and heart. It is hard to watch our loved ones make such bad choices. We need t/b careful we don't either.

take care,
L.

<small>[ January 17, 2005, 11:01 AM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

M23B, glad to hear you are doing well. How is the personal training going that Dr. Phil set you up with? You are still doing it right?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> You see, I was one of the MOST stubborn people here...I didnt' want to take any advice that I didnt' want to hear... </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Mom, I think I was definitely in the running for the "most stubborn" award myself!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I'm glad you're doing better. You've had a really rough year or so. But you're right, you will be okay.

I thought I'd die if I lost my husband. But here I am, 2 months past my divorce, and I'm still breathing. Sure, I have some down days. I just passed what would have been my 20th wedding anniversary on the 12th. I had forgotten about it until my mother was so kind as to remind me. That brought some pain--we'd planned a few years ago to spend out 20th in Hawaii. It would have been our first trip there. Oh well....

But I am also enjoying the peace right now. No fighting with him. No daily reminder of him being with the OW and coming home to me and lying. Sure, I wish I could have saved my M. But I was SOOOO stubborn I never did do a Plan B. (Not that I think it would have helped much in my case).

So I'm single. But I'm alive. And I don't feel half bad most of the time. It does get better!!

And you are a strong woman. You'll be fine. Look at 2005 as your new start in life, no matter how things turn out.

LL