WS called to tell me not to say anything to my daughter that I miss her MOM, She is telling me that daughter lied for her because I have full of anger and she doesn't want me to do anything stupid. I told her on the phone that I miss my wife, I miss my family, She said YOUR WIFE IS GONE. I've mention that she never love me anyway since 1993 she is inlove with the OM according to her letter that I found. She said think what ever you want to think, but I did love you, then I told her that bring me back my wife, and I told her that everytime I feel doing stupid stuff I just pray to GOD and go to church. WS doesn't care at all, she's still in the FOG. I think I better moved to PLAN B. Plean B,

We are not divorce yet not even filed yet, do you think she will be back in my arms again?

I hate to say this but I cannot moved on at all, I am still feeling the pain, this is sucks.

She knows how to press the button and I think I am going to get through this no matter what, I have to keep going. I just dont want to be WS my self because we are still married and we might get back together.

First question,

Are you full of anger?

Do you take it out on WW?

What are you doing about you're anger?

My WW has told me many times that I am full of anger and to a point she was right. My anger/hurt really messed up my first Plan A.

I have joined an abger group to help me display my anger in different ways, and it has done wonders for me and has helped my plan A.

If you're anger and the way you display it pushes away you're WW, then you are making more withdrawls than deposits in her love bank.

If this is an issue, you can work on it, and perhaps she will be back in you're arms. IMHO

All the best.

Well U s/b full of anger..... now her saying it is fog babble but still the truth.

How so? Fog babble in the sense that she is trying to guilt you and blame you for being angry.

Truth: In reality for all that has happened a righteous person s/b angry. God gets angry when he sees all the wickedness in the world.

Anger in itself is NOT a bad thing. How we use our anger is what is important.

So when the WS accuses the BS of being 'full of anger', don't fight or excuse it..... let her know something like:

WS: U r full of anger.

BS: Hm.... interesting statement WS. Given the fact that you are having an A, doing 1, 2, 3..... things that have brought trumoil and stress to our family...... can't really think of any reason why I shouldn't be, ya know?

Now by stating it in a redirected and kind of casual/sarcastic way, you have acknowledged you are angry but not directly. She is gonna have a hard time using that kind of evidence against you in court (if that is her motive). Instead she is going to have to say a lie which you can counter.

Keep a journal of your encouters with her. All of them. You will find it interesting to review later. Maybe not be solid proof or even admissable proof but you can use it as reference when you are giving testimony.

Reverse babble..... it works. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

L.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">WS called to tell me not to say anything to my daughter that I miss her MOM... I told her on the phone that I miss my wife, I miss my family, She said YOUR WIFE IS GONE. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ummmmm...yes. That is why you miss her. If she WEREN'T gone, you wouldn't miss her. I don't get it.

Alank,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Are you full of anger?

Do you take it out on WW?

What are you doing about you're anger? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have full of anger but I never take it out infront of my WS, I am really calm infront of her, I even catch her with the OM and talked to OM in person letting him know that I love my wife and being him on the picture there is no way that I can get my WIFE back. OM agreed to leave my wife but I think just for that day and now they are hiding it again that they are still together. WS was so mad at me and telling me that I scared her boy friend and he end up leaving her, thats funny because I didn't scared the OM at all, we became friends and talked like good old friends. OM is married and has 4 kids all boys. But never show any ANGER at all. I can control my ANGER I just pray to GOD everytime I feel like I am going to do something stupid. I just PRAY and GOD knows that.

If you ever do feel anger coming on when in the presence of the WS, just tell her something smells around her and leave. Let her wonder where that stench (A stench) is coming from. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

L.

Orchid,

Thank you...

WIFE is really GONE, STBXW I hope everything is going to be smoothly and everything is going to be fine when she filed for Divorce. I will forgive her in everything what she did to me. God is the only one who knows whats next on my Written Path.

All all I can do at this point is to let go my Anger and just Forgive and Forget, She choose this life and I cannot do anything about it. Because no matter how I tried to save the Married I get put down and there is nothing I can do anymore. Thanks for all the support and Ideas to fix my self first.

I lost a lot of weight and I think it's a good thing, Because now I work out a lot and I started to look good. My goal is New me for 2005 and I think I am heading to the right direction. Wife used to tell my the my BEER-BELLY is so BIG. I used to weigh 210 lbs now I am 175 and my waist 38 inch and now 33 inch going to hit 30 soon. I will try to add my Picture on MB's Pictures Thank you all.

Keep working on you. You will be pleasantly surprised. Also don't put yourself in a vulnerable sitch. Lots of trolls out there looking for a good looking buff guy. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Can you do me a favor and fix that sig line of yours? I don't want to see you talking about anything sharp and dangerous. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

L.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>Rescue Me</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Only if you are willing to grap that rope to lift yourself up not to hang yourself.

2x4 ....

Have you take AD not booze ?
Have you prep-your D's room ? you know you are going to loose CC ! and your D will be raised by OM.

Keep listening to WW ... how is it working for you ?

-rh-

Rescue-

Did your WW file for divorce??? I think you should do what these people are saying....take everything she says with a grain of salt, she's not herself right now.

My husband said some really nasty things to me, in person, and on the tape with OW, but I haven't really let it bother me.

He has also told me before, not exactly that "My husband is gone" but something to that effect, like "This is the new me" (When he's being a butt head) Don't take it to heart.

I'm sorry you're so sad, I'm sorry that WS's have to be so damn mean. I don't think you should give up though, because it's obvious that you have unresolved feelings....and OF COURSE you're angry....this stuff they put us through is some unf*ckingbelievable bullsh*t, I mean HELLO. She's trying to make you feel guilty because Guess what......SHE feels guilty, I would be so nice to her......"Love your enemies, it get's them really confused"....even when she's spewing the acidic bullcrap at you, just be nice as pie.

My WH actually told me on the phone we haven't had SF since we've been separated, that I'M crazy...LMAO, I'm like "Okay, we haven't had SF since we've been separated, I'm crazy" I had to stop myself from laughing at him.

I have to prepare my reverse babble for him, as I KNOW his skank is going to get the copy of the letter I sent her employer today and he's going to rip me a new one......again, going to be very nice about it.

I know how you feel Rescue, I mean I've been being fed sh*t so long, and saying it tastes like chocolate, shoving my feelings down because I wasn't supposed to be having them, that I finally reached my breaking point.....I believe I hit bottom......can only go up from here. (At least I hope so) Started working on me, (I still obsess about the OW...but it's getting better). I'm going to be the best me I can be, you'll get there hon....you will I promise.

-Caren