I have had seveal affairs and I am of course not proud of it my x husdand is very forgiving of what I have done and we are gettting back together. I do love him and want to be with him but I am so lonely with him living in another state than me , he is trying hard to find us a place we have to have 3bdr and a place that allows pets I know it takes time and God please let it be soon the last time we tried this I had another affair and hurt him again and I dont want to do that I do love him ! and we are planning to remarry. It feels like I am struggling not to do it again

Hello,

I think you need serious individual therapy.
Clearly you have an ex-husband who loves you very much and is willing to forgive your great betrayal of him with your several affairs and to try again with you. You know that he is looking for another place that allows pets but are now fearful that you will cheat on him again because of being lonely with him trying to find a perfect place for you. Apparently when he tried to find a place for you in the past you ended up cheating on him again.
I think you have some very serious issues that needs therapy at once. I honestly don't know how you can say you love your ex-husband and want to be with him but feel you are on the verge of cheating on him again because of the time it takes to find a new place by him. What is wrong with this picture?
You are so lucky to have such a man in your life that is willing to love and forgive you the way he has. Do you think you would have been able to do the same if the roles were reversed? I guess what I am saying is that if you feel waiting a bit more time for your ex to find a place for all of you is such an a problem that you cannot help yourself in having an affair again like the last time he tried to find a place for you; then do your ex a favor and allow him to find someone who can show true respect and love for him. Your comments seems to indicate that your lack of self-control may lead you to continue having affairs on your ex-husband even if you get back with him. Surely you must see that you need individual counseling to understand why you continue to hurt this man that for some reason loves you very much. I hope you are not a self-destructive individual but it certainly sounds like it. Am I wrong?