I have spent the past couple of hours talking to FallingUp on the phone. I decided to sort of put my concerns on hold for a little while and try to help her.

We have been talking about the whys of her affairs. Rather, she has been talking, and I have been asking questions and trying to understand.

It has been a marvellous feeling to lay down my worries for a little while and try to help her with hers.

I feel good. I know this is transitory, but I wanted to share it with you folks. I think I am gonna ask her not to read this thread until I say it is okay.

-OAK

Once a knight:

This is Good. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
ANYTHING that you consider a Positive is a Plus. (Especially at the early stage your in).

Take heart that your W is willing to actually be open and "talk" to you about what is currently going on with her....as well as what went on in the past.
This is soooo Huge...that I can't emphasis it enough.

Again none of this is Easy......but the 2 of you can take actions to make it easier on you both.
For now, You seem to be doing just that.
Keep it UP!

Wishing you only success in your journey! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

I really appreciate your good wishes <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I have been thinking about something Pep said on another thread. I have been having that same feeling in most of the "deep" conversations FU and I have had. Most everything she says when discussing the A's is very rational. I still feel...unsatisfied by her statements. Like I am still getting a whitewashed, sanitized version of things. The tenses she uses when talking about things. Choices of words that are paraphrases of things I have said. Sometimes contradicting herself on a "truth" she spoke a few minutes before.

I really feel like I am getting "what I want to hear" more often than I am getting openness and honesty. Before reading Pep's words, I had almost convinced myself that I was just hypersensitive to her words. I mean, I really do turn over and analyze msot everything that is said (on both sides!) during those sorts of talks. Maybe my instincts aren't that off.

Funny how we are sometimes a WS's best ally against ourselves, isn't it?

Makes me feel humiliated, thinking these things. Gonna try to stop for a little while, play with my boy. Surefire good feelings, right there.

-OAK