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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 164
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Joined: Nov 2004
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Hi All:
As of today I am still in the insane mode, trying to get by for the pass few days and I am loosing hope, I feel like I am so lonely and just keeps on praying to GOD that show me the way out of this Infidelity feelings. I've been trying to hold back lately and for some reason there is no way that I can control this crazy moment. My wounds is so deep and I keep twisting the Knife. I heard that wife is having fun and always out every night and her cousin said that she is happy right now not being with me at all. It's hurting me badly and I could not sleep again, 2 hours sleep is the most sleep I can get. I thought I got through this process already and I don’t know why I still love her so much. Lately I've been hiding in my room for couple of days and I thought I can get by home alone but all I did is crying facing the wall. I am sorry for sharing my thought and feelings, I am really sorry but I have to let this out of my body. I am becoming careless to myself and lately I thought I cannot handle this anymore and I just want to go away for good, you know what I am thinking. I am going insane.
Lately I found out that WW is hanging out with her Xboyfriend the second OM and I am loosing hope, Please show me the way to get through this thanks. I am going Psycho, sorry guys.
Please forgive me for writing this down feelings I have...
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
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Rescue, don't be sorry for posting or venting. It is ok. I am sorry you are feeling so bad. Now, what are you going to do to feel better? Do you have any hobbies or interests that you can fill your time with?
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093
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Rescue,
You are going to get through this, please believe that. The pain won't go on forever.
Keep praying. And keep hanging on.
You're going to make it through this, just like all the rest of us have.
Remember you are not alone, so many are right where you are now. And so many have gotten through it. It just takes a little time.
Keep coming here and posting, and talking. We are here for you.
{{{{{{{{{{Rescue Me}}}}}}}}}
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Joined: Nov 2004
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Rescue I am so sorry - I too hae felt the way you do -it does get better -you need to take care of yourself. I know it seems you can not do anything else but crying is good. I wish I could cry. Please stay with these wonderful people an do not do anything stupid. If this dosesn't work out then it will get better. I am older and have been thru alot in my life. It does get better. I am sorry you are feeling so badk -go out to dinner, go visit a friend -call someone. You should try to have some company -family? Just call.
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Joined: Nov 2003
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{{{Rescue Me}}},
Hang in there ok? We all know how supremely hard this is for you.We know the pain,the sadness.It WILL get better.You just need to ride it out and do whatever it takes to do it.When I was so down in the early months I took long hot showers until there wasn't any hot water left.I cried and cried.Let out all your emotions. Here is a good place to vent.Keep coming back.Don't be sorry for letting us know how you are feeling.
**Remember**,your WW is the "psycho",not you.She is acting selfishly and painfully and she doesn't care who she leaves in her wake.Totally inappropriate.PLEASE call a crisis hot line if you are overwhelmed.PLEASE do not do anything to harm yourself OK? You are WORTH so much more than what your WW is putting you through.YOU WILL come to this realization one day.It's hard to see that going through so much pain right now.Keep talking it out.We are here for you!
O
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 164
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 164 |
Hi All:
I just got out from conference meeting and as soon as I sit down in my office, My tears just overflow and cannot stop it. I am loosing hope, cause my daughter is lying for her MOM and she calls OM uncle. I feel so lonely and I just keeps on praying and praying for this situation to be over.
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
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Rescue, Please don't worry about your DD calling OM uncle. YOU are her father and she knows that. For chilcren it can be a coping mechanism and she is trying to please her mom. Hang in there and try to keep yourself busy.
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Joined: Sep 2004
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Oh Rescue-
I'm in tears as I write this....I know this feeling....it sucks!!!!!! Your words made the feeling come flooding back - I haven't cried in a few weeks...crying is good. I know the pain you're in, I was feeling the same way you are right now just a few weeks ago, I was at a suicide crisis center on New Years Day....sometimes it feels like you can't go on another minute...another second....the pain is just too much.....I know where you're coming from.
It's not fair Rescue, it's selfish and it's wrong, it's downright inhuman for the one who is supposed to love you the most to hurt you this way. I prayed and prayed too, but still was feeling badly.
I know you don't want to hear people say that you're wife isn't worth this, people said that to me too....but I did feel he was worth everything, he was my world, and I hope that he will again be part of it someday.
I know how you're feeling....I think about my WH with the OW and it eats me alive inside.
I've been feeling stronger the last few days, but had a really bad afternoon, when I just felt the crushing pain of betrayal all over again....but it went away fairly quickly.
I promise it gets better......no one would have convinced me of that on that terrible day that I thought ending it all was the solution. Pain is something you just have to feel to get past it.....it truly is, you have to let yourself feel it, and you have to talk about it, as stupid as that sounds....I thought "WTF is talking about this going to help" I promise you it does.
NEVER be sorry that you post here......the best possible advice you can get it here...because the people here KNOW what you're going through, they've been through it.
I'm not out of the woods yet.....but I can almost make out the clearing....
I'll turn yahoo on if you want to talk, my yahoo ID is the_pieces_of_my_broken_heart
Talk to me hon,
Caren
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Joined: May 2004
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Bump for Rescue.
How are feeling today rescue? Any better?
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 60
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Rescue-- Hang in there Bro. When I read your post I thought I was reading my own. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> I am there with you. I work on my own and yesterday, I just cried like a babbling fool AS I WORKED! It hurts so bad. I have never had the kind of pain, physical or emotional that has caused me to want to be dead until now. I have not gotten any more than 3 hrs of sleep a night. Man, don't be sorry about purging these feelings. You don't ever have to see any one here. At least that gives me a little comfort knowing I can be totally open here without holding back. You can really say how you are feeling and get some genuine support from GOOD thoughtful people that know what they are talking about, AND they know what you're talking about, and know what you are going through. Believe me, I know what you are going through Bro. How are you doing this morning?? Hang in there CJ
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rescue me... I am struggling to say anything admirable in your wife's actions.... a mother of a nine year old daughter....hanging out with boyfriends....first and second OM... makes you wonder what these men themselves really think of your wife.... mother of a nine year old.... no matter how attractive she is on the outside...she is tainted on the inside... Margaret Mitchell's creation of Scarlett Ohara..presented us in book and on screen..a vision of such beauty that no man could resist... (cept Ashly <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> )...yet inside Scarlett was tainted, selfish and evil.....for a long long time....even Rhett tried to change her...and tried to save her...but he couldn't save her...and he walked away.... time for you to shift focus... time for you to battle the war of doing right by your nine year old girl...who is being put in situations that stand to do great damage to her and her potential relationships with men in her future... time for you to take pride that while wife is out hanging out...you are going to the gym...getting stronger physically...from which you must build in to your emotional wellness and strength as well... you are going psycho because you allow yourself to perseverate and focus on her....and even that makes her comfortable.... admirable is the man who sees those actions she engages as what they really are... shallow selfish behaviors...at the expense of anyone and everyone including your daughter... who has custody.. what is the situation with your daughter.... time to save your baby... that will focus and empower you..... the urge to go belly up strong.....but mom is already floundering in her own bar scene misery... time for dad to be the safe harbor... someone must do this for your child... you wife chooses not to... you should embrace this... ARK
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{{{Rescue Me}}}
I know your pain! Just try to take care of yourself. The pain does lesson with time. I know it's hard....God...we all do. I'm going through my own hell so I don't really know what to say. Just know that there are people out there that care and if I could reach through this computer and give you a hug, I would!!!!
Stay strong!
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 60
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Rescue,
How'd you make out today? I imagine a bit better today huh? I hope so. I know how it is, one minute you're not too bad, the next you are a complete mess. Let us know how you're doing. Concentrate on YOU. Stay focused and keep in touch. Stay tough.
CJ
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